


Making Loki Kneel

by vihistoo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, I kind of have no idea what I'm doing, Sorry Not Sorry, Sweet, only thing I'm sorry for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:45:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 60,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1425652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vihistoo/pseuds/vihistoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As retribution for his crimes, Loki is sent to a sister kingdom, Enduran. Somehow, along the way, what was meant to be long years of harsh words and demeaning actions may just turn into something much sweeter...</p><p>p.s. i just revisited this for the first time in a long time and am pretty appalled at how bad it is. this is the first fic i ever wrote so just please know my other ones are much better</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes our favorite underappreciated prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters are short, but they get longer, I promise!

I paced in front of my throne, the clicking of my heels and the swish of my dress the only sound.

"What is taking so long? Odin said noon," I muttered to myself. I checked my sundial again. It was now half past twelve.  
My pacing ceased when my faithful servant, Coran, burst into the throne room.

"What is is, Coran?" I asked sharply. My body twitched with anticipation.

"The prisoner has arrived, my queen," he said, bowing his head respectively.

Just then I heard the clanking of chains, and boots. A knock on the door boomed and echoed, the sound becoming hollow as it rang through the room. Coran looked at me, and I nodded my approval. He opened the door, and what I saw surprised me. Just in time I rearranged my face back into an expression of smooth interest. Before me stood Loki, of Asgard, flanked by six guards, all holding a chain connected to him. I took a few moments to appreciate his bonds. His wrists were bound behind his back with chains running up under his arms to connect to a collar around his neck. A belt of metal sat on his hips, with a two large weights hanging down on either side of his thighs, which led to two more belts, attached above his knees. To slow him down, I assumed. Lastly, his ankles were chained together, with just enough slack so he could move with jerky steps. And to top it all off, a muzzle. When I met his eyes they were alight with fire, anger was present in his face and indignation surrounded him. I looked to the guards and one of them spoke to me.

"Your Highness, we present the prisoner Loki, as agreed upon between you and Odin, King of Asgard and Protector of the Nine Realms" he said. Another guard stepped forward and handed me a golden vial which held a restless green smoke. "His magic has been extracted. Once you uncap the vial his magic will return to him," the second guard told me

"Thank you," I said. "Tell the King I will send him monthly updates on the condition of this prisoner," The guard bowed and they all turned and exited my throne room with synchronized steps.

"You may leave now Coran, thank you," I told him, after handing him the vial to put in my chambers. When the door had fully shut I turned to Loki, who had been left on his knees.

"Do you know why you are here?"

He made no indication he had heard me and remained staring at the ground.

"It would not be wise to ignore me," I said lightly. "I am the only person you have left," At this remark he slowly looked at me and the hatred in his eyes was still present.

"Do you know why you are here?" I repeated. He slowly shook his head.

I walked in front of him and grabbed his chin, so he was looking up at me. I wanted to see his reaction when I told him.

I smiled sweetly and said to him, "You are here to be my pet."


	2. Learning Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen lays down the rules and Loki is still being Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second chapter! I tried to upload it earlier but something went wrong. I had to write this whole thing TWICE. Ugh.

Loki's body went ramrod straight and he wrenched his head from my grasp. He struggled to stand and snarled underneath the muzzle.

"Good boy!" I laughed. "Acting like an animal already!"

I tutted. "Let me help you, dear," As soon as I touched his arm he whirled at me like an animal and snarled again.

"Enough," I said. I fiercely grabbed his jaw and forced my way into his face. When our noses were almost touching I snarled myself.

"I am above you and you will respect me," I growled. Suddenly his eyes widened. I knew what caused this, though. I had seen it before and it still surprised me. My caramel hair had started to float around my head, undulating and waving as if underwater. Light shone through my eyes, turning the tawny brown golden. I could already feel the well of power inside of me pulsing and pushing my body to change as it had. My nails had elongated into claws and my skin glowed like the sun.

"Surprised?" I mocked. When I slowly retracted the magic, Loki looked at me in confusion.

"Perhaps I will explain later," I told him. He nodded and let me help him up, still a tad disoriented. I led him up the steps to my throne.

"Sit," I told him. He stiffened but eventually squatted down next to me. I sat back in my throne and looked at him.

"Now I will tell you the rules," I said to him. He merely nodded. "You will sit next to me whenever I am in my throne and I have had a collar made especially for you, Pet. You will not be allowed outside unless escorted by me and you will wear what I tell you to, and do what I tell you to. These rules may change over time, with good behavior. If these rules are met with disobedience, the consequences will not be pleasant," I watched him listen to me, and to my curiosity, his face showed no change in emotion, just a blank slate.

"Does that sound fair, Pet?" I asked. Of course he could not answer me. _Hmm. Perhaps I can trust him to behave_ , I thought.

I reached into my dress pocket and pulled out a small key Odin had sent me days prior. He leaned away from me as I neared his face.

"Do you want it off, or not?" I asked, slightly angry. He looked a little shocked but immediately nodded. I wrapped my slender hands around his neck and moved his hair out of the way. He stiffened again and this led to me to the conclusion that he does not enjoy physical contact. _Interesting_ , I thought. _I will change that_.

Once the muzzle had come off he opened and closed his jaw several times, the cracking of the joints making me inwardly cringe. _How long had it been on him_? 

"So, are you going to answer my question, Pet?" I asked him.

He looked at me and nodded slowly. I raised my eyebrows. I had just taken the muzzle off and yet he still did not speak. I stared at him until he cleared his throat.

"That seems fair," he said. His voice surprised me. It was gravelly and deep, somehow being smooth and lilting at the same time.

"You will address me as my servants do, Pet," I sneered, not really caring if he thought my rules were 'fair' or not.

Irritation flashed across his face but he nodded again. He didn't seem to be getting the point. When he could bear my stare no longer he spoke.

"Yes, My Queen," he said, with some difficulty.

"Good boy!" I beamed. "Come here," I patted my thigh. He seemed to hold back a snide remark as he slowly shuffled toward me. When he was in front of me I reached a hand our to stroke his hair. It was dark as night, and oh-so-soft. I could feel him staring at me as I looked him over. His raven hair contrasted wonderfully with his pale skin, so smooth, with a pearly luminescence. His green eyes was startlingly deep, emerald green, fading into a soft meadow green near his pupils. Sharp, high cheekbones led to a strong jawline that I fingered as I turned his head this way and that, admiring him.

"You are rather handsome," I murmured. He smirked until he heard me speak again. "All of my high court will be so jealous, such a pretty pet," His smirk slowly faded into an aggravated line of thin, pink lips.

I continued to stroke his hair, ignoring the discomfort and anger rolling off of him.

"I suppose it is time I told you of my history, Pet,"


	3. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen tells Loki about her history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the nice comments! This chapter took me a while as I had to think up an elaborate and believable history for the Queen. And sorry! I know it's really short!

I took a deep breath, to prepare myself for the emotions I knew would well up with the telling of the story.

"When I was a young girl, my mother told me this story and now I will tell it to you. Long, long ago, my ancestor, there was a queen. She was the ruler of this kingdom, this world, Enduran. She was very kind, and caring. Compassionate to a fault. This would prove to be her undoing. One day, a villager came in, with a terrible plight. Her son was gravely ill, and she asked Queen Gemrain to lend her healers to the child. The Queen did as was asked, of course, it was her nature. She allowed the child into the palace, gave him the best healers, assured and assuaged the fearful mother. Unfortunately, the child did not survive. The mother, in the midst of her grief, blamed the Queen, feeling that she had filled the mother's head with false hopes, to hide her true plan, which was supposedly to lie all along, and not give the child her best healers. She hired a sorcerer, the most powerful in the land, to curse the Queen, so that she could no longer fool others with her beautiful lies. The sorcerer spent many days, concocting a spell which would rid the Queen of her nature. After one moon cycle, he had it. It was a normal day, the Queen was walking in the town square, when the sorcerer cast his spell. The townspeople say a golden ball of light came flying through the air, and knocked into her. She let out a scream of pain that shook the branches of Yggdrasil. The spell would turn her into a destructive monster, only capable of anger and death, a Banshee. She sat in the town square for three days, screaming and trying to fight the spell. After three days, she and the spell co-existed. The person the spell was supposed to turn her into, manifested into a being, a second conscious, able to speak and form thoughts. The Queen had control of herself, but Banshee was always there, always lurking behind her words, her motions. She could even hold full conversations with Banshee. This was the story I was told, the story I begged for each night my mother tucked me into bed. But that was it. It was just a story. Just a wive's tale to lull a child to sleep, to dream of glory, and righteousness. Right?" I looked at Loki, but he had no response.

"Wrong. One day, I was angry, so very angry, I can't even remember why. Suddenly, I felt an explosion of heat, in my head. Then there was a voice, screeching. It was the worst pain I have ever felt, nothing will ever equal it. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. There was a person in my head, talking to me. It was so angry, and I was so scared. Then my skin started glowing, and my hair started moving, and it was terrifying. Then I saw talons coming out of fingers. I raked them over the stone, to try to rid myself of them, but it didn't work, they were just there. The thing in my head and I battled for control for the longest time. Sometimes, I would think I was myself, and then she would push forward, and I would have to contain her. This was all in my head, I thought I was going crazy, until I remembered the story. I snuck away to the library when I felt control and I would take books and research. I found out that no one had had Banshee for three generations, there was no one to help me. I was all alone in my terror. I learned to accept her as part of my life and she learned to accept me as her master," 

"I stayed in my quarters for many moons after, afraid I would lose control, and hurt someone. I forced myself to not care, to not see the pain in their eyes as I ignored them. I could not care about anyone, because if I hurt them...it would destroy me. It was only after I had begun to control the storm inside of me, that I found I had been replaced. A servant girl had won the affections of my mother. She braided her hair, they sang songs together, went on walks together. Soon after that my father grew to love her, and she was adopted into the family. A servant girl had become a princess, and a princess had become an outcast, ignored and feared by even her own parents. " I said disdainfully, a bitter sneer finding its way onto my face. I turned to Loki, who now had some emotion dancing on his face, one I could not figure out.

  
"I have already told you too much," I said, realizing I had taken my hand from his head long ago, as I quickly stood. "Now I will give you a tour of the palace,"

  
He followed and I hoped he could not see the raw feelings still burning brightly in my eyes.


	4. Be Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter a new character is revealed, and Loki is still being Loki, (which just means he's being a difficult pain in the ass)
> 
> And oops, the palace tour is delayed.  
> Thanks Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! I tried to update yesterday, but the chapter was deleted somehow, and I was just to...ugh...to write it all again. (You know that feeling, right?)

As I neared the door to the throne room, I suddenly stopped. Loki almost ran into me but he shuffled back awkwardly, his chains clanking loudly.

"If I take the chains off, will you behave, Pet?" I asked. He narrowed his eyes, but nodded anyways. I once again reached into my dress pocket and grabbed the key. I started with his collar, removing the chains connecting him to his wrists, but leaving on the ones holding his wrists together. Then I knelt down to grapple with the metal belt at his hips.

"This might not be the only time I kneel in front of you, Pet," I said suggestively, playfully wagging my eyebrows at him. He blanched at my change in behavior and I snickered as he turned a bright red. "Be calm. I was only yanking your chain," I said, shaking his metal belt, and then I busted into laughter at my most recent pun. Loki smiled a little and chuckled, then seemingly took it back, his expression hardening. I got the impression that he was angry at himself for dropping his mask. I chuckled one last time as I undid the belts at his knees, ridding him of the heavy weights at his thighs. He jumped up and down a little and I smiled. He studied me as I neared his ankles. As soon as the chains were off, I felt a sharp pain at my side.

The bastard. He kicked me.

Loki kicked me.

His knee cocked back for another kick but he was soon immobilized. I flicked my wrist, summoning my magic, so that he was hovering in the air. He wiggled and grunted. I laughed. This time it is menacing and I felt a shiver down my back. My banshee was starting to stir but I pushed her down, I knew if she was to close to the surface my magic would not work.

>   _ **Insolent fool! We must punish him! Punish him now! How DARE he touch us!? HOW DARE!**  _ She screeched, her voice keening painfully in my head.
> 
>   
> _Shh,_ I murmured.  _You are not needed. Go back to sleep._

She grumbled, but eventually quieted, and I focused on Loki. He had stopped squirming and was trying to stare me down. I calmly stared back at him, matching his glare with my own smug expression. 

"That was very rude of you, Pet," I said lowly. "Now you will need to be punished," 

> **_Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.  
> _ **

I could practically feel her biting her lip in anticipation. I allowed her to slowly mesh with my hand, black talons curling out of my fingers. I timed my magic out so that the moment Loki touched the ground my hand whipped out, slapping him with a loud crack, my nails digging into his skin. He fell to the ground in a crumbled heap. I shifted my stance and waited for him to regain consciousness. Banshee withdrew, satisfied with her small bite of destruction, and my mind was clear. Is hadn't been since she stepped forward when he wouldn't let me help him up.

He groaned and I quickly helped him up before he could protest. He was unsteady, so I held on to him as he fully woke up. I let go of him and sighed as he held his shredded cheek in one hand. 

"Come here," I said softly. The look of hatred he threw at me shook me to my core, but there is no way I'd let him know that. "I just want to heal it,"  He looked surprised, and angry that I would even suggest such a thing. "Your pride has already been wounded, there is no sense in letting your face stay that way," I said, trying to convince him his behavior was asinine. He looked away but finally removed his hand, slowly turning to me so I could see the extent of the damage.

He has four deep cuts in his cheek, and one cut splitting the side of his bottom lip. I snarled inwardly. _Why must I destroy everything I touch_. I reached inside myself and created a ball of soft golden light, cradling it in my right hand. With my left, I gently held the side of his face. He flinched and I slowed, looking him in the eyes. I knew that my eyes are soft, and his green gems flit behind me, unable to hold my caring gaze. I brought the ball of light up to his face and spread it out, so that it floated above my palm, a perfect replica of my hand. I placed my hand on the cuts and he hissed, then sighed, as the warmth slowly spread over his wounds, closing them and wicking away the blood. I took my hand away and smiled softly. Some light was left on my thumb, so I slowly wiped it across his hurt lip, marveling at how smooth the skin there was. Loki groaned softly and leaned into my hand. Banshee stirred, but this time it was a feeling different than anger that woke her.

Lust. 

 _No. This is nothing. You cannot feel anything for him. Nothing. Remember your rules, Adelaide. Care for only your realm. Only for Enduran. This is just lust, easily conquered. He is your Pet after all, and you can use him how you want._  I said to myself, trying to ignore the flutter of my heart and the tingle in my belly. Despite my personal scolding, when I spoke to him, the words were mushy, and caring. 

"I did not like hurting you, Pet," I told him, softly.  _No! No! Adelaide, stop this. Stop right now. He is your PET. Do not let your idiotic sympathy for him break down your walls._ I inhaled sharply, disgusted with myself. "You are lucky I was generous enough to heal you, ungrateful mongrel," I sneered. His brow furrowed in confusion, then his eyes narrowed, as he slapped my hand off his face. I smirked at him and wiped my hand on my dress, as if his touch was revolting.

"If you ever try anything like that again, I will make you writhe, and I will not have the heart to help you," I warned him. His eyes flashed and I can see him imagining the cuts and bruises I would leave, but my mind had turned to dirtier thoughts. _Sinfully_ dirtier.

"Come along now, Pet, we can finally start our tour," I said sharply, and with that I walked out of the throne room, Loki skipping at my side like a pup let off a leash.

 


	5. Tour-Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen finally gets time to show Loki the palace, and he's not a jerk. At least for now. Oh, and he's actually kind of cute. Surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's kind of long. I think it ended kind of badly but I was running out of time and had to hurry, I was so close to finishing it. Sorry again.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> p.s. I extended the ending, so those who already read this chapter should re-read it before reading soon-to-come chapter 5.

"As you have probably have deduced, that was my throne room," I said to Loki. He nodded and followed me as I lead him down the hallway, with walls made of gold, green accents adorning the cream floors. Pillars of the same cream colour line the hallways, purely for decoration, although the hallway was quite large. To the left and right of the emerald doors are sets of stairs.

"Guest quarters, and my own are primarily on the second floor, as well as my personal favorite, the library," At this, Loki perked up and I could see him still looking at the stairs as I lead him father away from them. As we neared the end of the hallway, ornate, but small steps lead us to an enormous emerald door.

"This is the front entrance," I looked left and right, trying to decide where to take him. I turned left and he followed. I motioned to a door as we passed it."That is the female servant quarters," I said. As near another emerald door, considerably smaller than the previous, I told him that this is the ballroom. When I opened the door, Loki emitted a small gasp. I smiled proudly. The ballroom embodied my royal colors. The ceiling was emerald, with golden chandeliers hanging down, scattering the floor with small diamonds of light as the sun shined through the glass skylights. The floor was a swirl of gold, emerald, and cream, magicked so that the colours swirl as if being stirred, constantly. Loki watched the floor in fascination as he stepped on it, the colours skirting around his foot, then returning when he lifted it. He continued his game, and I watched as his face broke into a boyish smile, and he crouched down to replace his feet with his hands, dragging his finger through the swirls and watching the colours spin and mix as result., completely absorbed in child-like curiosity.

"As a child, my mother and I would play a game. We would watch the floor as we danced, and whoever got dizzy first, lost. I always lost, of course, because she would snatch me up and tickle me, leaving me gasping for air," I said wistfully, a sad smile gracing my lips. The tinge of pain in my heart was expected, but the pain in Loki's eyes as he looked at me was not. Normally, I would look away and drop the matter, but as Loki searched my face, and wore a smile matching mine, I felt my eyes get misty. Suddenly, I felt the cool metal of Loki's handcuffs on my throat, as he cupped one of my cheeks. I stiffened, unfamiliar with touch. Half of my was indignant, enraged that someone had dared to enter my personal space. The other half was melting, becoming putty and wanting me to roll over and bare my stomach like a dog, submitting at a single affectionate touch. The sob I was holding back started working it's way into my throat, but I swallowed it, as I pushed his hands away. _Maybe I can tell him, maybe he will understand._ I inwardly scowled. _No, I deserve this, I need to feel this pain, I am a monster, and this is what monsters feel, what they are, what I am_. _Earned punishment, for being a disappointment, for failing them. Monsters do not deserve pity, nor sentiment, they only deserve the anger and pain they feel_. I quickly walked away from Loki, leaving him standing there, bewildered.

"Coming?" I sharply asked, barely looking over my shoulder. He ran after me as I lead him past the entrance again, this time leading him down the right hallway. I turned again and lead him into a room. "This is my training room. My most trusted warriors, and you, Pet, will be allowed to train in here," Swords, bows, arrows, spears, boulders,dummies, targets, and other training equipment filled the room. If he was impressed, he didn't show it. Farther down the hallway were the male and female baths.

"A servant will bathe you, until you want me to," I told him with a wink. He straightened his jaw, glaring at me. I then lead him through another hallway. I knocked on the right wall. "We're behind the throne room," I walked him into another room. "This is the the dining hall," I told him. "I sit there," I said, gesturing to a high-backed emerald chair. I walked around the long table to point to a pile of furs and pillows.

"You will sit here, next to me, Pet," I told him. He blanched, the fire igniting in his eyes again. I smirked at him and waited for him to challenge me. He looked away and took a few controlled breaths.

"Yes, Mistress," He said quietly. I felt my eyebrows raise. I was impressed.

I reached out and softly stroked his jaw. "Good boy," I softly murmured. "Come, now I will show you to your quarters. It's getting late, so I will have dinner brought up to you," As we were going up the stairs, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. I ignored him.

"My Queen?" His soft voice questioned me. I waited until we are on a landing to turn to him. I cocked an eyebrow and waited for him to speak. He swallowed and bowed his head. "May I see the library?" He asked. His green eyes pleaded with me, and he adopted an adorable face, little crinkles at the corners of his eyes and a slight pouting lip. I couldn't ignore the part of me that wanted to pinch his cheeks. I smiled warmly, to assure him that he did not overstep.

"Of course, Pet," The stairs ended and I stopped in front of yet another pair of emerald doors.

"Are you ready?" I asked playfully. He nodded, his eyes flickering from me to the door and back again. I pushed the doors open with a flourish and stepped back to appreciate his reaction. His eyes widened and he brought a hand to his chest as his eyes widened. He looked to me and I nodded at him, smiling.

"Go explore, Pet," I said cheekily. "I'll wait," A gorgeous smile split his face and he left me to flit among the bookshelves. I chuckled and went to my favorite spot. On the back wall, plush chairs and short tables were arranged facing a glass wall, overlooking the garden. The view was breathtaking and so peaceful. I loved it there. A stack of books adorned one table. A table the servants knew not to clear. I picked up a book and waited for Loki to find me. Not too long after, a small cough caught my attention. I looked up and laughed. Loki had a pile of books haphazardly stacked in his arms, not being able to properly carry them bound by his wrists.

"Is it alright if I borrow these, My Queen?" He asked hopefully, eyes shiny and bright.

"Yes, Dear. Let me help you, you're going to drop those, and the librarians will never let me hear the end of it," I said candidly. As we walk out, Nona, a librarian, nodded at me, telling me that she knows he has some books. We exited the library and turned left.

"These will be your quarters," I told Loki, stopping in front of a pair of large doors, almost as large as the entrance doors. I pushed them open and set the books down on table in front of a fireplace. The room was large, spanning the length of the library. The bed is dressed in emerald blankets, cream furs and golden pillows, held up by a golden frame, with cream curtains. The floor was magicked like the ballroom, the only two rooms throughout the palace. Chairs and tables were set up in front of the fireplace, golden and reaching the ceiling. A glass ceiling let in the dying sunset, and golden walls glowed softly.

"The bathroom is over there," I told him, also the same design as the room. I walked into the bathroom, and he moved to followed, but I shook my head 'no' at him. When I walked back out, he sucked in a breath, slight color rising in his pale cheeks.

"Wh-what are you wearing?" He asked, voice slightly shaky. I smiled slyly at him.

"Sleeping clothes?" Loki swallowed, and I watched his Adam's apple with fascination.

"Why, may I ask, are you wearing sleeping clothes?" I smirked and put my hands on my hips, feeling the silky material of my nightdress.

"These are my chambers, Pet, and we'll be sleeping together," I said boldly.

"I thought you said these were my quarters?" He asked warily.

"Oh, yes, Pet. And they are also mine," I breathed, slightly annoyed. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp."You are mine. This room is mine. My things stay together. With me," I finished. He looked slightly angered but quickly masked it with a stoic expression.

I nodded and made my way over to a wardrobe. "This side is full of clothes for me," I motioned to the right side. "That side is for you," I motioned to the left. I pause. "Are you hungry, Pet?" I asked Loki.

He looked off and seemed to think for a moment. "No, not very much," He said quietly. Then his eyes shifted to my face. "My Queen,"

I smiled. "Myself as well. Too much excitement. I'm quite tired though. Tomorrow we can bathe and I will show you the gardens. Pick out some sleeping clothes and come to bed, Pet. You must be tired too," Loki walked over to the wardrobe and picked a thin pair of briefs and a cream silk shirt.

"I hope you will be comfortable here, Pet. Our royal colors are not too different. Emerald, gold, and cream. Yours are green, gold, and black, yes?" I asked him.

Loki nodded, looking slightly offended at my simplification of his colors. "Emerald, gold, and ebony, yes," He said, correcting me in a way he knew I cannot take offense in.

I raised an eyebrow and climbed into bed, sighing softly as I was enveloped in the silky sheets and fuzzy furs. I sank into the pillows and looked at him expectantly. He started as he saw me staring at him and started to make for the bathroom.

"You can change out here, if you like," I said. It sounded like a suggestion, but I knew he could hear the subtle command in my words. He tensed and slowly turned, regarding me with frustrated eyes. I smiled politely and gracefully waved my wand over to his side of the bed. He tersely loped over to me and started to lift his tunic.

"Slowly, Pet. I treasure all of my things," I said softly.

He tensed and slowed his motions. I held my breath as he revealed his torso, then his chest. He stood silently as I inspected him. Clothed, he seemed lithe, but you could sense his strength. Unclothed, there was no denying it. The flat planes of his chest moved with each breath, as did the muscles in his abdomen. His abs were outlined by the definition of his obliques, two hard lines on either side of his abdominals, dipping below his briefs when the muscle flowed over his hips, in a very sensual 'v'.

"Turn," I ordered. He obeyed and I barely kept in the moan as his torso revealed hidden muscles as he twisted. When he was facing the other direction, I splayed my hands across his back. He jumped, not having heard me get up. I knew he wouldn't.

"Roll your shoulders," He looked over said shoulders, before rolling them. When he did, I know he heard me gasp, as I couldn't keep myself from doing so. The muscles in his back, shoulders and neck appearing and flexing as he rolled his shoulders again and I could practically hear the smirk on his face.

"Again," I said lowly. He rolled them another time and that time I focused on his arms, the bicep and tricep shifting and bulging. A heat began to form in my stomach. I grabbed his arm, and turned him so he was facing me again. I ran my fingertips over the muscles on either side of his neck, following the ridges and valleys over his deltoids, under to his biceps, up again as I passed over the crease of his elbows, and I squeezed his forearm muscles, nearly drooling as he flexed them under my hand. I spread my fingers over his chest, feeling his controlled shudder. I followed the muscles with my fingertips until I reached the top of his abs, weaving in and out of each square. I counted six in all, the last two disappearing at the edge of his briefs. I skirted my fingers on the edge and sucked in a breath when I hear him softly moan. I looked in his eyes and saw the desire darkening them, the emerald resembling the forest trees that cover Enduran. I wanted to hear that noise again. Very badly, but I stopped, when I saw him pull on his trousers, shifting something.

"You may finish now," I said, slightly strained. He looked at me, the desire still shining from them, and he held my gaze as he undid the tie of his briefs. I kept my eyes on his as they dropped and he broke my gaze to fetch the boxers. When he was turned I drank in the sight of his toned behind, and the tight muscles in his thighs, down to the shifting muscles in his calves. I looked up quickly as he turned to face me, not wanting to see _that_... yet. If I did, I would do something I would regret. I had just gotten this toy, and I would be very angry with myself if I wound him up and used him too quickly. Suspense always heightens the pleasure. He quickly donned the boxers and his new briefs, before pulling on the silk shirt. I inwardly sighed, relieved that that glorious sight was hidden, effectively freeing me from trying to hide my desire.

"I won't force you to do anything you aren't ready to, Pet," I said to him, pulling the sheets over my body again. "Do not take this as sympathy though, I just don't want to break that pretty little spark of defiance in you just yet," At this, he huffed and scrambled into bed, turning away from me as he lay down, his raven hair spilling over the golden pillows and begging to be stroked. I ignored my itching fingers and pulled a cord, the cream curtains swishing softly as they fell into place.

"Goodnight, Pet," I said calmly, sleep already throwing a hazy veil over me.

"Goodnight, Mistress," Loki responded, he voice equally calm, and with that I fell into a deep sleep, never before feeling so at home with another in my bed.


	6. Where Did All Of This Tension(Denied Attraction) Come From?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky. I awwe'd writing this, then I inwardly sobbed, but whatever. You gotta read it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sorry it took so long to update. I am currently living without wifi,  
> *horrified scream followed by classic fainting damsel in a too tight corset*  
> I have to use a *gulp* ...internet cable. So I don't always have time to trudge downstairs to hook up my computer. Once again, sorry.  
> Btw, you're gonna wanna read chapter 5 again. Remember how I said I wasn't happy with the ending?  
> Well I am now, so go re-read it. For your own good. And it's good. I promise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **_Master._ **
> 
> **_Wake up._ **
> 
> **_Master! Open your eyes, quickly!_ **
> 
> _Ugh...what? What's wrong? Has something happened?_
> 
> **_No, but do you not feel different?_ **
> 
> _Different? What do you mean? Why did you wake me? You do know that I make the conscious choices, and you do not, correct? I do not like pushing you away, but I will if I have to._
> 
> **_Yes, I know. But this is important. Don't you feel something warm, something...big, lying on you? Something that smells very good. Exotic. Like, mint, and pine. Very fresh. Very fresh indeed._ **

I tensed. What did she mean? Groaning lightly, I tried to shift but I indeed found something warm and large lying on me. I winced as I opened my eyes. At least she hadn't woken me that early, the sunlight had already bathed my bedroom in golden sunrise. I looked down and something in my heart leapt. My breath caught in my throat, and every muscle I had went rigid. I desperately wanted to stroke his hair, but I didn't want to wake him yet. Loki had laid his head on my stomach, burying his nose in the silky material of my nightdress, right where my sternum ends. My bed was large, but was still not wide enough for his tall frame. He was lying sideways, with his legs tangled in the sheets at the left edge of the bed, his feet dangling off the edge. His left shoulder was pushed into the soft flesh of my side and his hand was resting under his head. 

I gave into temptation and reached down a hand to run my fingers through his silken mane, pushing the strands out of his face so I could look at him. The sunlight seemed to seep into his skin, making him glow. When his eyes opened, my heart clenched again. The sunrise revealed golden flecks in his unfocused jade orbs.  _He is so beautiful._ He murmured something and closed his eyes again. I didn't think he had realized where he was yet. I could tell the moment he did, though. His fingers tensed, pressing hard into my side, and he lifted his head. I could feel the heat of his palm and it traveled straight through me. His hand lifted from my side, and he rested on a elbow. Loki studied me for a moment, then lifted a shaking hand, stopping just short of my cheek, his eyes flickering to my own. He must have seen something there, for he rested his palm lightly on my face, and I jumped. No one has touched me like that in years. His hand was cool, but the warmth of the moment tore through me, obliterating the walls I had put up, destroying the facade. I melted in his touch and leaned into his palm, lifting a hand to rest on his. Thankfully, a knock at the door came before any tears did. I looked at him one last time, slightly embarrassed, before I removed his hand and slid off the bed, padding over to the door. 

It was Coran's face I saw when I opened the door, and he told me that the High Council will join in one hour, My Queen. I nodded and thanked him. I turned and faced Loki, who had shifted into a sitting position, wrapped in sheets and furs. He looked utterly adorable, hair mussed and clothes askew, but I digress. 

"I have a meeting with the High Council today, to discuss some important matters. I will leave you here, as I wish to show you the gardens myself. You will have breakfast, then I will have Coran, one of my most trusted servants, take you wherever you please. Do not hesitate to tell me if anything unsatisfactory happens, for nothing happens without my knowing," I said to him. He nodded and picked at a loose string on one of the sheets.

"Now, with that out of the way, how did you sleep, Pet?" I asked him, while I made my way over to the wardrobe, to pick out my dress for the day.

"Very well, Mistress. Better than I have in a while," He says.  _Wait, "very well"? He found that pleasing? He doesn't regret that? How confusing. He must be daft. Instead of waking up to a monster under the bed, he woke up to one_ in _the bed._

"I suppose I made a satisfactory pillow, then?" I questioned him, playfully, inwardly laughing at my own joke. Loki blushed and very sweetly looked away, a small smile on his mouth, and I ignored the urge to run to him and kiss the rosy patches on his cheeks. He looked at me and mumbled something, the blush spreading across his chest, and I giggled. I touched my throat in wonder, and giggled again. It felt so wonderful to laugh, so I laughed until he did, nervously at first, then uninhibited. I laughed until my sides hurt, and tears were running down my cheeks. Minutes later, I straightened from my hunched position and wiped the tears from my eyes, squeezing out a few more hiccuped laughs while Loki did the same. I took a deep breath to calm my aching abdomen and picked up the dress and ceremonial armour I had picked out earlier. 

I smiled at him. "Do get dressed, Pet, breakfast will be up shortly, even though I rather fancy you undressed," I said lightly before I turned and backed into the bathroom with a cheeky wink, leaving him gaping and blinking furiously. I caught my smile in the mirror and studied it. I didn't remember it. When have I last smiled like this? I couldn't remember that as well. It split my face, making my eyes shine and my dimples show.  _I have dimples?_   _This is pathetic. What kind of mad person can't remember their own smile?_ My dresses were tailored to fit perfectly, outlining my shape. My body was toned, from my arms to my stomach to my legs. I am rather tall, most of it being my legs.  _I need to get more sun..._ I thought, noticing my pale demeanor. My caramel hair fell in slight waves, or curls, whatever it decided on that day. Today it was soft curls, nicely framing my face, which was oval. Tawny eyes looked back at me, turning suspicious when my thoughts took a nasty turn.  _Too bad this will go to waste,_  I thought, imagining a mini-me. _No child will carry these traits, as no man will ever want to have a child with me. No one wants these monstrous genes, these destructive ways._ A few tears threatened to fall and I sighed as I placed a hand on my belly. I so wanted children. Dearly. I wanted to hear the patter of bare feet in the hallways, wanted to hear the squeals of laughter playing a game of tag, wanted to hear about their day, wanted to dress them, lick my thumb and wipe off something on their cheek, have them push me away, embarrassed. I left the bathroom, brushing my hair and sliding on some matching slippers. My dress was cream, pleated at the top with a green silk tie, accentuating my small waist, before falling into more pleats, lined with green that would only show if the pleat is stretched. A one-shoulder breastplate of emerald with cream runes completed the look.

When I left the bathroom, I saw Loki had already dressed and was sitting in one of the chairs, reading a book.

"Breakfast will arrive shortly, Pet," I told him, gently squeezing his shoulder. He looked at my hand, then me, softly smiling.

I turn and sat it a chair as well, also picking up a book. 

"My Queen?"

I looked up. "Yes, Pet?" 

He furrowed his brow. "May I ask you a question?"

I smiled. "Of course," 

"What is your name?" He asked softly, probing my eyes with his, begging for an answer.

I stiffened. My name is something I held close to me. It's the name of the girl who wanted children, a caring lover, a family. Who wanted to hold his hand and walk in the garden, wanted to fall asleep together. The name of a girl who had it all before she lost it all. I kept her under lock and key. She was too sweet and innocent for reality, for who I've become. I stood up abruptly. 

"That is not something you need to know," I said hotly. "I will send for Coran. The meeting will start soon, afterwards I will show you the gardens,"

I don't actually know when the meeting will be, but I needed to leave this room, leave his hurt frown and sad eyes. We're both broken, but I can't, I can't do this. He can't get close, it will hurt him more, and I know I was confusing him, but once he found out I can't provide solace, or peace, or whatever it is he needs when he looked at me with his jade eyes and his soft smile, the hard mask he puts on dissolving into a boyish grin. I swiftly opened the door and left him, clenching and unclenching his fists, the resounding _bang_ echoing throughout the hallway. I took deep breaths and imagined pushing my feelings down, down, down, into a chest, that I closed, and locked. I pushed the image from my mind and put a polite smile on my face, checking my reflection in the golden walls. It's one I had practiced in the mirror, it's a smile that says,  _Hello, I'm capable, and calm, and okay._

It's a lie.

 


	7. Uh-Oh, Can't Really Deny It Any More, Can You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squealing, water, and puzzles, oh my!  
> Oh my, indeed. Oh my, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack, so cute. I hope you can imagine one scene really well, as I tried to describe it really well. It has something to do with running to the gardens, so there ya go.  
> Hope you like the chapter! Thanks for reading!

"So, according to these readings, several large ships appear to be nearing us, but their purpose is still undetermined," the man said.

"Have we gotten any messages, any threats?" I asked.

"No, nothing, though the ships do appear to be made for battle,"

I sighed. "How do you propose we go about this?"

The man looked to his left, "What would you say, Embass?"

Embass rifled through some papers, fidgeting, and said, "I think the best course of action would be to send a troop of scout ships out to meet them if they come any closer, and try to make contact. They have to know that their purpose would be unseen to us,"

I sat still for a moment, contemplating his words. "Determine the best distance to send the ships, far enough to stand out ground, but near enough to not threaten them. Include a battle ship, just to show them we won't stand to be intimidated," I said to the circle of men. "Very well done, Embass," I said, nodding at him. The man beamed, bowing his head slightly. I stood and made my way to the door.

"Let us meet in one week, or if there is any news on the foreign ships," I said authoritatively. "May the sun shine for you all," I finished, politely inclining my head at them all. They stood and bowed, murmuring thanks and glad tidings. Without another word I exited the room, sighing in relief. Being Queen was an honour, but sitting in a stuffy room with pompous officials was not.

I almost skipped to my chambers, I was eager to meet Loki and take him to the gardens.For some reason, I found myself about to knock on my chamber doors. I frowned at myself before pushing them open. I saw a lunch tray, frowning lightly as I realized how long the meeting had been. Then I saw Loki, hunched over. Curious, I walked over to him, using my magic to shield myself. I tiptoed to the desk and peered over his shoulder. My breath caught in my throat. He was drawing something, canvas and charcoal scattered around him. He had drawn me, the moment banshee had come out earlier yesterday. It was very good, my hair seemed to float off the page, the light shining from my eyes falling on my cheekbones and looking like it was coming out of the paper. If the girl had not been me, I would have thought it was beautiful, and it was, but I couldn't fathom why he would draw  _that._ He could've drawn me at a normal moment, not when the monster was out. I stared at it a moment longer, before my gaze shifted to him. His eyebrows were drawn together in concentration, a stray lock of hair falling over his face, about to touch the tip of his tongue peaking out of his thin lips. I found myself reaching out to push it back into place, but I stopped short when he suddenly stiffened, and raised his head. He stood up, almost hitting me with the chair as it moved back. He looked around the room, his eyes cold and calculating. When his green orbs passed me, I tensed, but he didn't know I was there,  _yet._

I started retreating, lightly stepping towards the doors. When he sighed and sat down again, I opened the doors and creeped out, adjusting my dress and hair before I pushed them open again, dropping my magic. Loki stood smoothly, calmly arranging a blank paper atop the drawing, fixing me with a small smile.

"Are you ready for the gardens?!" I shouted excitedly, positively buzzing. Loki caught on quickly and vigorously nodded his head.

"Yes." He breathed, quickly loping over to me. I grabbed his hand an grinned like a woman possessed.

"Come on!" I tugged his hand and ran through the halls, Loki's long legs keeping up easily. Turning a corner, he ran into a servingman, making him drop his bucket and scrubbing brushes, Loki dropped my hand and bent down to help the man. 

"No time! No time!" I said, tugging him up and laughing as Loki looked over and shouted, "Forgive me!"

The other servants were dumbfounded, who was this crazy women dragging the criminal Loki through the halls, running and screeching like kids? We ran down a hallway, nearing a doorway. I was bursting with energy, not being able to remember the last time I had shown any emotion like this.

"Come on, come on, it's just beyond those doors!" I squealed. Loki grinned and looked at me, his hair whipping around his face. I ran hands-first into the doors, effectively shuvving them open, screaming and dragging him through the doors, pushing him away from me as I spun around, breathing in the fresh air and finally flopping down on the grass. Loki chuckled before laying down next to me. I looked at him and squealed again, both of us gasping after our cheetah-like burst of energy. He suddenly softly snickered, looking over at me, before I started tittering in return, both of our laughs building until we were crying, holding our aching bellies as we gasped between ha's. We quieted after some time, before I suddenly sat up. 

"Loki!" I said. "You know the game of hide'n'seek, yes?" For a second, bells went off in my head.  _What have you done? Now he will expect an attachment! Stupid chit, you're the one getting too attached._ _  
_

Loki's smile widened before uttering a soft 'yes'.

"Then we shall play! We will play roshambo to decide who's 'it'" I said quickly. We both sat facing each other, a fisted hand over a flat palm. 

"Ready?" I asked. Loki grinned. "Yes!"

"Excellent. Ro...sham...bo!" 

Loki whooped, covering my fist with his flat palm. "You're it!" He yelled, jumping up and loping down a paved path, before he turned to look at me. 

"NO magic," He said firmly, the corners of his mouth twitching. I rolled my eyes. "Oookay," He turned again and shot me a quick smile before disappearing into the foliage. 

"1, 2, 3, 4,5,6,7,8,91011121314151617181920," I counted. I stood up and looked around before walking down the paved path he had, looking up into the trees and down between the bushes. I got to the middle of the garden, marked by a large emerald fountain and I stopped. Sitting on the edge of the fountain and closed my eyes. It was tempting to use my magic but I didn't. I breathed in. And out. And in. And out. I let my mind go blank and I just listened. It was a fairly calm day, barely any wind. I knew Loki had done some very bad things in his past, things that required stealth and secrecy, so I doubt I would be able to hear him, but I tried anyway. Nothing. Just the occasional rustle from the wind. Suddenly something barked in my ear and I spun around, hitting the side of the fountain with my knee, and toppling over, falling into the water. I sat up, spluttering, pushing wet locks of hair out of my eyes to see my assailant. Loki was blushing, gasping with a hand on his chest. 

"I-I am so sorry, My Queen, I only me-meant to scare you, not to make you fall into the f-fountain," He said quickly, almost choking on the words flowing from his mouth. He reached down a hand to help me up but I only glared. I looked away and fumed.

"M-my Queen, please l-let me help you," He said, looking as if all his blood had gathered in his cheeks.  _It's interesting how someone so eloquent turns into this when frightened._ I glared at him before grabbing his hand, flashing a mischievous smile before pulling him in. He exclaimed as he fell into the fountain next to me. I was laughing wildly as he sat up, coughing and looking at me in astonishment. He huffed as he clambered out of the fountain, his wet shirt and tunic clinging to his body, giving me a glimpse of his sculpted back and toned rear. 

"Come on, Loki," I called after him, holding my sopping dress up as I climbed out of the fountain. I stumbled after him, my dress clinging to my legs, making it hard to walk, and my crown painfully tangled in my hair. When I reached him I grabbed his arm and he whirled, attacking my stomach with his fingers, I gasped, having no breath to laugh, or protest, as I tried to breathe, finally sucking in enough air to stutter out a "Stop!", before pushing him away and making a run for it. His long legs caught up to me quickly, even more so, thanks to my sticky dress, I gasped again as he scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"L-Loki!" I screeched. "Put me down! At once! I am a Queen!" 

"Yes, of course, but I am a gentleman, and I am here to help you, dear lady," He said, snickering, as I struggled in his arms. No amount of squirming was going to free me, so eventually I rested my elbows on his shoulder blade and cradled my head in my hands, indignantly huffing until we reached the door. He set me down, but not before I slapped a hand on his wet behind with a sharp smack. He jumped and dropped me, holding the wounded cheek with a hand and sending me an 'ouch' and 'what' face combined. I merely snickered as I opened the door. Stepping inside, I located a servingwoman and told her to fetch us some towels. She blanched as she saw our soaked state and ran off.

"So..that was fun," Loki said, looking at me with a smile.

"Yes, it was. More than I've ever had," I responded, matching his smile.

The soft thud of feet alerted us to the presence of the servingwoman, greeting us with a warm smile and equally warm towels. 

"Thank you," Loki and I said at the same time. Pausing, we looked at each other and laughed. The servingwoman bowed and left us. I tried to dry off as much as possible, but was still slightly dripping as I dropped the wet towel over the puddle we had made.

"Come now, we'll go to our chambers, and change," I said to Loki. He nodded and we made our way up the stairs, poking each other and laughing the entire time. When we entered our chambers, Loki motioned for me to head to the bathroom first, so I did. As I peeled off the wet dress, I realized that I had nothing to change into. I wrapped a towel around me and poked my head out of the door. 

"Loki," I said. "I need a dress, can you pick one out for me?" 

Loki looked away from the window and nodded, looking a little worried. I watched as he pushed a few hangers around before picking a golden gown that reached mid-calf. He walked over and handed it to me, watching my face for my reaction.

"Why gold?" I asked. 

"It will bring out your eyes," He said simply. My heart fluttered a little and I blushed, murmuring 'thank you' as I tried to keep in a girly squeal.

I closed the door again and used a fresh towel to wipe down, accepting the fact that I'd have to change undergarments in the bedroom, because there was  _no_ way I was letting him pick those out. Yet. I somewhat dried my hair and brushed it before exiting the bathroom. 

"Your turn," I told him. Loki smiled lightly and escaped into the bathroom with a small pile of clothes. I picked out a bra and some panties before quickly putting them on along with a pair of golden slippers. I heard Loki come out of the bathroom and smiled at him.

"We have some time to relax, and then it will be time for dinner," He nodded and I walked over to my desk. Loki tensed.

"Those are just some doodles, you were gone longer than I had been told," He said tersely.

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry. There's been some suspicious ships hanging around," I replied lightly, reaching into a drawer and picking up a small cube. I sat on one of the sofas and snapped my fingers. A fire started to burn in the fireplace, the soft glow making me feel cozy.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Loki asked. I sighed.

"No, not really, perhaps later I will,"

He nodded before speaking again. "What are you holding?"

I looked up from the object. "It's called a rubik's cube. It's from Midgard. My friend gave it to me. You try to get all of one colour on one side, until you've done all the colours. It does help to pass time," I said, ignoring when he scowled at 'Midgard'. 

He hesitated. "Might I try it, Mistress?" He asked softly. I chuckled and tossed him the object. He glanced up at me, shifting one of the rows. I nodded 'yes' at him and soon he was fully immersed in the multicoloured block. I picked up a book but soon gave up, as my mind was still cluttered with thoughts of our earlier activities, as mixed up as the cube Loki was fiddling with. He was bringing her out. Loki was bringing the old me back and I could decide to let him, or I could shut the door and lock it, as I've always done. Loki's adorable little frustrated huffs were making the decision easier, but my self-doubt was not.


	8. That Was Stupid, Loki.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki messes up, as the chapter title had already told you, and boy, oh, boy, does he pay for it. What a dummy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...just as you read, know that the TriWarriors are a band of three warriors, named for the three competitive levels they went through to reach their side by the Queen. There's a tournament, and Endurian soldiers who want a higher place near the Queen duke it out through three tough levels of combat against each other. 6 remain after the last level, and the Queen picks three.  
> Triwarriors.
> 
> Btw, thanks for 57 kudos! *elated screech*

A knock soon startled us. Loki and I exchanged glances as I stood up to answer the door. A little servinggirl bowed her head and spoke.

"Dinner is ready to be served, Your Highness," She intoned softly, eyes on the floor. I lifted her head with a finger on her chin.

"Thank you, Eden," I said warmly, showing her a gentle smile. She sucked in a breath, eyes wide, quickly averting my gaze, confusion flitting across her young features.

"O-of course, My Queen," she said timidly. I raised an eyebrow, taking in her shaking form.

"Whatever is the matter, dear? You're shaking like a leaf," I inquired. She flashed her eyes to meet mine, dropping them to the floor again.

"I just did not think you would remember me, My Queen," she voiced. I knelt down to meet her eye level, fear igniting in her eyes. "My Queen, p-please do not kneel to me, I am but a-a, a servinggirl," Eden begged.

"My dear, it is alright," I said gently. "As for your name, how could I forget such a pair?" Her gaze met mine. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl,"

She looked away and blushed, obviously pleased. "Thank you, Your Highness," she said. I chuckled and squeezed her shoulder, rising from my heels.

"Of course, dear," I told her. "Now go, they will be needing a hardworking girl in the kitchen," She bowed once again, smiling ardently, before taking off down the hall. I chuckled once more before turning to Loki, only to find him studying me with a curious face.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious, smoothing my hands over my dress. He shook his head quickly, as if to dislodge thoughts.

"Nothing, My Queen," he said. I looked him over, before sweeping out of the room, knowing he would follow. Sure enough, his footsteps echoed mine as I led him to the hall. When we entered, a chorus of gleeful shouts greeted us. I threw my head back and laughed.

"My friends! Surely you did not miss me this much!" I said, widening my stance and spreading my arms, only to have a louder round of raucous shouts answer me. I laughed again and made my way to the head of the table, slapping shoulders and shaking hands along the way, Loki hovering near me uncomfortably. When I reached my seat, I pointed to the pile of furs and pillows, motioning for Loki to sit. His eyes widened as they met mine, aghast. I cocked my head at him. I know we had fun earlier, but I was still in control.  _Being brave, Pet?_ I wanted to ask. He eventually looked away, breathing deeply, before gracefully sitting down, his long legs crossed.  _  
_

"Who is this?" Sidi, one of my Triwarriors asked. I beamed at her.

"This is Loki, a wonderful new addition to the palace, my pet," I told her, proudly. She reached a hand down and stroked his head, threading her fingers through his hair. Loki's gaze met mine and he leaned into her touch, his emerald eyes flashing.

"He is very handsome," She noted.

 

 

>   ** _What is this? The warrior thinks she can touch OUR pet! Look how he leans into HER! THAT IS OUR JOB, HE IS OURS!_** Banshee said, the sudden flood of jealousy rousing her from her slumber.
> 
> _Wait, h_ _e will be punished, as will she, but we cannot let him know we are jealous. That will ruin the fun._
> 
> **_Yes. Fun, fun, fun. We will make them squirm._ **
> 
> _Yes. This will be fun,_ I said, already formulating a plan.

Loki's gaze met mine, clearly challenging me to stake my claim on him in a fit of rage. I met his eyes, blankly, before turning to a man sitting next to me, laying a hand on his arm to get his attention. I flashed an alluring smile, knowing the effect it had on him, the dilation of his pupils and the quickening of his breath telling me I had him in the palm of my hand. Eventually, Sidi left to take her place at the table, probably with the other two Triwarriors.

As the food rolled out, I ignored Loki's gaze, which I could feel burning into me, as I spoke with the man, touching him a few times, flashing smiles and laughing at things he said. When a servingman put a plat in front of me, I noticed he had nowhere to place Loki's plate. I ordered a small table to be put in front of him, low enough so he would have to hunch to eat.  _Serves him right,_ I thought.  _Letting her touch him that way, knowing he is mine._ I turned to the man again, reaching down a hand to stroke Loki's hair. He stiffened, and tried to jerk away.  _No, you don't._ I tightened my grip on his hair, holding him in place. He relented, and let me snake my fingers into his raven locks, positively seething, while I turned to another man, also eager for my attention, all the while calmly playing with Loki. When he saw a man's hand gently stoke my arm, I felt a soft tap on my thigh. I looked down, peering into Loki's eyes, delighted to see the anger darkening them. Loki pushed me over in the chair, until my hip hit the side. He then moved into the gap, wrapping an arm around my calf and placing his head on my thigh, glaring at the men above him. I stopped stroking his hair and pried his grip off my leg, laughing lightly.

"Greedy, are we, Pet?" I said to him, bouncing my leg to lift his head. "Or maybe we're just jealous?" I teased, pushing him away and resting in my chair again. His eyes met mine and he growled a little. I placated him by putting a hand on his head again, resuming my petting. He growled again.

"You'll get this and no more, you understand?" I asked him, a smirk tugging at my lips. His green orbs flashed.

"Yes, _MY_ Queen," He said loudly, loud enough that the men heard, and turned to him, starting to sneer, but as they met his gaze, they recognized who he was and they looked at me nervously. No doubt they had heard about the Trickster God Of Mischief. I smiled reassuringly, coaxing them back into conversation. Sometime later, after dessert had been served, and Loki had been ignored for some time, I felt a gentle weight on my thigh, which I identified as Loki's cheek pressed into my leg, but I chose to ignore it, smirking inwardly. Suddenly, the hall went quiet, and I heard Pox, another Triwarrior, storytelling loudly.

"...and so, this very large, muscular man, blocks the doors, looking at us like we're a pile of dead Cranchars, and all he says is, 'Enduran is so weak that they send a puny female to do their bidding?' and we all just stood there, because,  _damn,_ was he in for it, and The Queen walks over to him and does that sweetly-evil smile of hers, you know the one, right?" He asks the table. A few nods and chuckles hurry him on. "And suddenly, the sneer he's wearing is slipping, and he's shaking, because it's not everyday you see someone glow, and she curls a talon under his chin, and he's panting real loud now, and she smiles again and says, 'If I am so  _puny_ , why can I smell your fear, ignorant mutt?', still all calm and collected, and then,  ** _BOOM_** _,"_ Here, Pox slaps the table, scaring a few people sitting nearby, "He's down, he fainted, the big, bad, buff guy is curled up on the ground, sucking his thumb!"

The hall erupts into cheers, the banging of goblets matching the stomping of feet, and a chant starts up, "To the Queen! To the Queen!"

I stand, and immediately the hall quiets again. 

"Thank you, dearest friends. Your loyalty remains unquestioned," Cheers ring out again. "Just one thing," I said sternly. "Pox forgot to mention that he himself, slayed half the enemy army! A feat undone by any other warrior!" I shouted, shouts of triumph and slaps of pride landing around the light-haired man. I sent him a wink as the conversation slowly turned to him, and I relaxed back into my seat, Loki's head once more resting on my thigh and my hand once more returning to his head. Soon after, he started to play with the edge of my dress, and while I found it incredibly endearing, I ignored it. Can't have my plan going awry.

The hall soon calmed down, and as the meal ended and people started to leave, I stood, and walked out of the hall. Loki followed me, of course, and I could feel his gaze as I stalked up the stairs, studiously ignoring him. Once in our chambers I sat down and read a book, while Loki awkwardly flitted about, not sure on where he stood with me. He was probably expecting some outburst. _No,_ I thought.  _I do not scream, or yell. I sit, and watch. Screaming is too fast, too hasty. Being calm is really the way to go, because silent anger is the worst of all._ After a while, I called for a servingman to bathe Loki, waiting until he was out to call Maura, my bathingwoman. She made idle conversation with me, and I momentarily forgot my scheme while floating in warm water, surrounded by scented oils, and lulled to relaxation by her massaging hands. As soon as she left, I thanked her and slipped into a nightdress, preparing for bed. I stood in the doorway, glancing at Loki for the first time since we had left the dining hall. I stared at him and he stared back, before dropping his gaze. 

"Please forgive me, My Queen," he said pleadingly. I shook my head before sitting next to him on the bed. 

"You," I paused. "Are mine." I said simply, allowing no emotion to slip into my voice, staring deep into his eyes.

He nodded once and said, "Yes, My Queen," Still not satisfied, I slid my gaze past him, as if I'd merely been caught in thought, before turning my back to him and slipping under the sheets.

"Good night, Mistress," he said softly, hoping to get some reaction from me.

Nothing. _That will teach him to make me jealous. He is mine, and now he knows that. None other that me can touch him._  I held my own and closed my eyes, one word following me through the night.

_Mine._


	9. Mental Breakdown Are Not That Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this thrilling filler, The Queen has a rather nasty nightmare. How will she deal with it? With she hide it away, or will she bend and break?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. *pterodactyl screech*  
> 66 kudos. *repeated pterodactyl screech*  
> I can't believe people like the nonsensical ramblings of a Loki-obsessed female. But please, continue to like them, and I will continue to write them.  
> Thanks again!

" _ADDIE! HELP! DEAR GODS HELP ME!"_

_"Mother! Where are you!" I screamed, running through the halls frantically._

_"ADDIE!, AD-" A horrifying scream broke off her speech. I tore at my hair, trying to breathe._

_"Mother!" I sobbed. "Where are you! Please answer me!" My legs gave out under me, my voice echoing around me. I pounded on the floor, frustrated._

_"Addie, please stop," A broken whisper said to me. I looked down and screamed. My hands were covered in blood, and my mother lay under my, deep gashes and cuts littering her body, seen through her torn dress._

_"Mother?" I asked, looking at my hands in horror._

_"Why Addie? Why would you do this? Why would you kill your own mother?" She asked my, tears running down her face, leaving streaks in the blood that had splattered her features._

_"M-mother, I didn't-what happened? What-where?" I asked her, trying to keep the bile from leaving my throat._

_"Addie, you did this. You lost control and attacked me, and now I'm laying on the ground, dying. You killed me, your mother,"  she said to me, feebly trying to staunch the flow of blood from her abdomen._

_"No!" I said, sobbing. "Mother! Please don't go, I love you. I'm so sorry! I'_ _m so sorry!" I shouted._ _She looked at me and hissed in pain._

 _"No, Addie. You don't love me and you're not sorry. You did this, you monster. I'm not your mother, and you're not my daughter," She said to me, turning her head to the side._ _"At least I don't have to see the face of my killer when I leave this place," she whispered to me._

_"No!" I wailed, my voice breaking. I turned her head, whimpering when her glazed eyes wouldn't focus on me. Suddenly, she turned into Loki._

_"Why, Mistress?" He asked me, his green eyes fading. "I thought you I was yours? Was I not good enough?" He said to me. His pale hands flitted around his body, trying to find an unharmed place to set them, before his eyes rolled back into their sockets and the last breath left his body._

_I howled at the ceiling. Looking down to see Eden, sweet Eden, just a child, holding the side of her neck, blood spilling between her small fingers._

_"My Queen!" She implored. "I"m sorry! Please forgive me, please help me!" I sniffed and took her face into my hands, pulling her into my lap._

_"Eden. Sweet child, don't worry," I said brokenly, trying to keep a dam on the pain in my heart._

_"It hurts so much," She said, silent tears running down her face. "Please, have mercy. Just kill me," she begged._

_I buried my face in her blonde hair, matted with the blood from her neck wound. She shifted and I moved to see her face. I sucked in a breath, when she pushed me away, no-when_  I _pushed_ _me away. She stood up, a mirror image, scornfully eyeing me._

_"You pathetic creature, look at yourself," She said, snarling. I looked down to see my dress stained with blood, several bloody fingerprints standing out._

_"What is the matter with you? When we you realize? We are a monster, a demon, brought from Hel itself to bear destruction and death upon the universe. You can't stop it. I am who we should be. Who we need to be. The sooner you see that, the sooner the fun begins," she screeched, before extending a clawed hand and wrapping it tightly around my throat._

_I looked into her eyes as I struggled to tear at her hands, looking into her face, and seeing the death in her eyes. I would not survive this. This evil being would be left to roam these halls as me-_

_"Oh, but I am you," She said, reading my thoughts, before pushing me away. "You've been looking in a mirror this whole time," she told me._

_A little noise escaped me as I frantically backed up, away from the reflection, as she smirked at me. I stood on shaky legs, running my hand over the mirror's frame, looking behind it, only to find nothing. I returned to the mirror's front and wailed. The reflection let out a sinister cackle and I felt talons curl out of my fingertips as I looked her in the eye._

_"N-no," I stuttered out, realizing her plan. She laughed gleefully at me and nodded._

_"Oh, yes, dear twin. Yes," She said, before lifting her opposite hand, and I watched in terror as she poised it in front of our stomachs._

_"Please," I whispered, arm shaking with the effort of trying to take back control._

_"Mercy is not for monsters," She hissed, before plunging the talons into my stomach and twisting, tearing my flesh to shreds. I spat blood and fell to my knees, looking at the mirror as it rippled, until I saw me, actually me, sitting, trying to hold onto life as it left her eyes, before_ she _returned._

_The last thing I head before blackness enveloped me was the sound of breaking glass._

* * *

 

I lurched, clawing at my stomach and screaming, mind reeling, before scrambling out of bed and running for the bathroom. I barely made it before I retched, heaving until tears made my vision swim. Loki burst into the bathroom, frantic. I looked up at him pathetically before I reached for him. He fell into my arms and I wrapped my arms around him as I tried to survive the overwhelming surge of emotions within me.

>   _ **Master! It hurts! What do we do? Is he alright? Are we alright? Why can't we breathe? Why can't we-the walls-this room's too small! Get out! Get out!**_

I whimpered and pushed Loki back, running my hands over his face and checking him for injuries.  _He has to be alright, dear gods, please let him be okay._

"Mistress, what's wrong? Tell me how I can help," He pleaded, brushing my sweaty hair from my forehead. 

"Eden," I whispered. "Eden, Eden, I have to check on-on Eden, I have to-to-Eden!" I told him, my voice rising as my panic did. I pushed past him and staggered on trembling legs. 

"Loki," I turned to him. "Help me," He ran to my side and supported me with an arm around my waist as I leaned on him. He pushed open the door and I swayed as he supported me once again. I started to walk faster, until I tore from his side, the frenzy inside me pushing me forward as I started to run, racing around corners until I reached the female servant quarters, fumbling for a moment with the doorknob, and wailing as frustration overtook me. At last I fell into the room, quickly rising to my feet as several servantgirls and women jumped to my aid.

"My Queen!" she said worryingly. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"Eden!" I said to her. "Where's Eden!" I begged.

"My Queen?" a familiar voice asked softly, voice still clouded with sleep. I broke from the servingwomen's supporting arms and tripped on my way to her. I sobbed as I fell on my knees before her.

"Eden! Oh, my sweet, darling girl! Please tell me you're well, please tell me you're not hurt," I pleaded with her, placing my hands on both sides of her face.

"Of course, My Queen! I feel fine! Are you well? You do not look yourself, My Queen," Eden replied quickly, worry and fear taking over her features.

I cried with relief and sank down on my heels, pulling her into an embrace on my lap. I put my cheek on her head and held her close as I rocked gently, finally silencing the waves of grief and torment that had blown me away since the nightmare. She merely cuddled into me and let me hold her. After some time, Loki gently wrapped an arm around Eden and I, and I laid my head on his shoulder, feeling peace for the first time in a long time. I let my imagination run rampant for a minute, picturing me sitting in front of a hearth, while my husband and child gave me love, and I enjoyed the moment, before lifting my head and gently releasing Eden. She stood and looked at me questioningly.

"Are you sure everything is okay, My Queen?" She asked me softly. I stood and brushed my nightdress off.

"Yes, Dear Eden," I told her just as softly. I bent at the waist and laid a gently kiss on her hairline, cradling her cheek lovingly. "Go back to sleep. It's still nighttime," I said authoritatively. She bowed her head before jumping forward and wrapping her arms around my middle. I heard gasps at the same moment I stiffened. A tense silence hung in the air until I place a hand on her back and gently moved it in soothing circles. She sighed lightly before snuggling her head into my stomach. I placed the other hand on her head and stroked her hair, making her look up at me. I smiled tenderly before squeezing her shoulder. "Off to bed, dear,"  Eden nodded and made off before turning back to me.

"Will you see me to sleep, My Queen?" she inquired hopefully. I shook my head. 

"Maybe some other time, dear," I replied gently. Her face fell for a moment, but she smiled and skipped to bed, before jumping in, giving me a little wave. I chuckled and waved back before letting Loki lead me out, ignoring the dazed and surprised expressions of the servinggirls and women.

"I trust that this will not interfere with your duties," I said loudly, turning back and eyeing them all, nodding as they bowed their heads and whispered their agreements. 

I was exhausted from the emotional tidal wave and Loki let me lean on him on the way back to our chambers. He tucked me into bed before crawling in next to me. I turned to face him.

"Loki...would you mind...if we slept..closer..tonight?" I said, immediately regretting the weakness of the question. His emerald eyes found mine, and he searched them for a minute, before nodding minutely.

"Of course not, My Queen," he replied, moving his arm and opening up his side to me. I shifted over to him, gently laying my head on his chest and aligning my body with his. I jumped when he laid his arm on my waist, and he in turn jumped when I laid my hand on his stomach. 

"Adelaide," I said quietly.

"Pardon?" Loki said, confused.

"My name is Adelaide," I stated.

"Oh," he said softly. "Thank you for sharing, Queen Adelaide," 

I bit my tongue when he said my name, for it sounded delicious, rolling off his lips like water over a smooth stone.

I stayed awake as he fell asleep, his breathing slowing as his exhales blew across my face, and I soon fell asleep too, dreaming of picking mint in a pine forest, the snow falling around Loki and I.


	10. You Done Messed Up Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen has been busy, busy, busy, and Loki has been lonely, lonely, lonely. And to top it all off, some villagers come by to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are too nice! 77 kudos! What the heck!  
> (Not that I'm complaining, keep em' coming)  
> Thankyousomuchimaboutodieofhappysquealing

"My King," The Gatekeeper said, nodding respectfully.

"Hello, Heimdall," Odin replied. "How does Loki fair?" The Gatekeeper looked past him for a second, before meeting his gaze. 

"He fairs...well. As for your plan...it does not," Heimdall answered.

"What do you mean?" Odin questioned, his one eye locking on to the Gatekeeper as he stalked toward him.

"You meant for him to be dishounoured, beat down, correct?" Heimdall inquired. The King raised an eyebrow before nodding slowly.

"Well, it seems that Queen Adelaide and Loki have grown," Here he paused. "...close,"

Odin's eye widened, and he looked away as he mulled over this new knowledge. "This will not do," he said, voicing his thoughts.

"Perhaps," Heimdall suggested. "He can learn from love, what was meant to be learnt from hate,"

Odin did not reply, but only looked up to the sky, admiring the stars. "Perhaps..." he echoed. Without another word, he turned away from Heimdall and started to walk away. Then he turned.

"Thank you for your company, as always, friend," Odin said, a small smile flitting across his usually stern features.

Heimdall returned the smile, once again nodding in respect. "It is always a pleasure, My King," he remarked. As the King marched away, the Gatekeeper turned his eyes to the abyss, standing at the edge of the shattered Rainbow Bridge. 

A whisper of something danced around him, and as he focused on the realms far from Asgard, specifically Enduran, a knowing smile graced his lips.

* * *

 

"Coran," I said loudly, earning the attention of the man that stood by the door. He quickly loped over to me before bowing.

"Yes, My Queen?" He inquired. 

"Have someone bring my pet down," I commanded. He nodded before scampering off. Minutes later, some servingman had Loki trailing him as he walked into the throne room. My heart fluttered at the sight of him. It had been three days since I had had some alone time with him. With the threat of the approaching foreign ships, and the other duties of being Queen of Enduran, I only saw him in the evening, when I was too tired to do anything but be conscious as Maura bathed me before I uttered a 'goodnight' and crashed into bed. I ached all over, mental and physical fatigue weighing me down.

"Here he is, Your Majesty," the servingman stated. I almost snapped some snide remark, but I only allowed a dismissive wave of my hand. Loki looked at me apprehensively. I motioned for him to sit next to me, and with a concealed sneer, he plopped down next to me. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer, so I could stroke his hair. He remained stiff. 

"Pet?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He flinched at the word and eyed me angrily.

"You've been ignoring me," he accused, then his rage faded, and his mouth sported a little frown. "Did I do something wrong?"

I sighed, and laughed softly. "No, Loki. As a queen, I do have other responsibilities other than you," I responded. He blushed and looked away.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, My Queen," he said meekly. I rolled my shoulders, biting my tongue at the stiffness in them.

"Loki, look at me," I said softly. He obeyed and met my gaze, pale cheeks still flooded with blood. "I'm sorry for not spending more time with you, but I have been so very busy," I sighed.

"You do not need to apologize, I understand," Loki whispered. 

I sighed again. "There are foreign ships nearing Enduran, and we do not know their intent. The ships look to be made for battle, and it's making me very nervous. We are not prepared for another war.  We dispatched our troops to aid Niflheim in war," I told him. "Many came back wounded. If this is war, I fear I might have to fight as well," 

Loki looked surprised. "You fear battle?"

"No. I fear what battle brings out," I replied.

"What does battle bring out...?" Loki asked warily.

I sucked in a breath and looked deeply into his emerald eyes. "The monster," I whispered. Banshee came forward at the mention of her and I knew Loki could see the gold swirling under the light brown of my eyes.  I ripped my gaze from him.

 

>   ** _You called?_** Banshee said snidely.
> 
> _Leave._ I snarled. She purred malevolently but went back to sleep.

"You're not a monster," Loki declared, looking at me with a furrowed brow. I was about to argue but I was so exhausted, so instead I barked out a laugh.

"Yes, Loki," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"You're not," he insisted. "I'm the only monster here,"

I turned to gape at him. Now I was ready to argue but Coran burst in. I stared incredulously at the panting man.

"Did you forget how to knock, Coran?" I asked him. He hung his head.

"No, My Queen, it's just that the villagers have arrived for council," He answered. I stood and calmly made my way over to him, making sure I stopped in front of his hunched form, before standing in front of the door. I looked at him until he raised his head and shakily met my gaze. I placed a fist on the door and lifted it.

 **Knock, knock,**   **knock.**

"That...is how you knock," I told the trembling man to my right. "You may let them in now," Coran nodded meekly and exited. Once I reached the throne, a tentative knock reached my ears.

"Enter," I stated. The doors opened and a group of villagers walked behind Coran, until he motioned for them to stop, the villagers falling into a line.

I internally sighed but when Loki placed his cheek on my thigh I became resolute. I motioned for the first villager to step forward. She bowed and tried to take something from behind her. Curious, I waited, and my eyes lit when a small child emerged from behind the dress. The boy, about 5 or 6, looked up to the woman, and she gave him a little push forward. He walked toward me stopped at the edge of the stairs. 

"Come along, dear, it's alright," I told him softly. The boy looked doubtful.

"What about him?" he asked, pointing at Loki. Loki shot me a surprised look.

"Don't worry, he's nice," I promised, petting Loki's hair again. Loki laid his head on my thigh and shot the boy a toothy smile. The small child giggled and clambered up the throne steps. 

"I made you a neckwace," he stated proudly, opening his small palm and presenting me with a surprise.

"Wherever did you find this?" I asked, pointing to the small charm on the twine. 

"I was just pwaying and I found it," he answered. I held the necklace up to inspect it. The twine that held it would most likely scratch my neck.  _I'll just have it put on a different chain. Gold._ I thought. The charm was my family crest. A hand gently holding a star. A symbol of the strength and unity of my family. Strength, for being able to hold such a powerful force of the universe, unity for the same reason, space is a part of us, as much as we are of it. _  
_

"Thank you," I heard myself say. I studied the all golden charm and decided to match it with my colours. I weaved a simple spell and put the necklace on, tying the twine into a knot, the back of the now cream hand resting in the hollow of my throat, the golden star with the new emerald center facing outward. "Would you like a present as well?" I asked the boy. His eyes went wide and he nodded furiously. I gave him a big smile and focused. From inside, I conjured a small stuffed toy. It was grey, had tusks and a trunk. The boy squealed in delight at the small golden burst of light my magic made. "It's called an elephant," I declared. I magicked the toy so it ran at him, raising it's trunk and bellowing out some sort of noise. The boy squealed again and hugged it close as it turned into a toy again.

"thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!" the young child shouted, running to his mother to show her his new toy. 

"Thank you Your Majesty, you are most kind," the woman said, admiration shining through her eyes. I gave her a gentle smile.

"You are very welcome," I returned.

Just then, a pained scream echoed throughout the throne room. In mere seconds, the line disbanded, allowing me to see a small boy holding the back of his head and struggling to sit up. 

"Stupid wench!" A man yelled, placing his boot on the boy's stomach. "Shut up!" He raised his boot, and several things happened at once. 

The boot came down, there was another pained screech, the villagers all jumped back, Loki tried to grab my wrist, and somehow it found it's way around the man's throat.

"This is the day you die," I hissed.


	11. Oh My Gos-Wait, Awee.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That man gets verbally shredded into a quivering sack of meat and cuteness ensues.  
> Sorry for all the squealing you're gonna do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for updating so late! My schedule suddenly changed so my life was hectic for a few days. Don't worry, I won't leave you guys hanging.
> 
> And seriously, 90 Kudos! OMG. You all make me so happy.  
> Much Love, -v-

The man's eyes widened in terror, and his hands rose to clasp around mine, which were tightening on his throat.

"My-My Queeen.." He stuttered.

"What is the reason for this?" I questioned him, snarling. His fingers scrambled for purchase among mine, and for a moment I relished at his feeble attempts, feeling the tendons and muscles in his fragile neck, the wild beating of his heart thrumming under my fingers.

"I can assure you that th-that creaturrrre is not worth your attention," He replied, voice straining as my fingers tightened on 'creature'.

"Why?" I leaned in, calling on Banshee to lend me strength, the warmth flowing into my arm, and I lifted him, delighted at his squeal of surprise and pain, the only thing holding him up being my fingers tightly clenched around his throat.

"He is a-a failure, abandoned by h-his family, I took-k him in, and he repays m-me by..." ,here he managed a strangled gasp, "by shattering the va-ase my wife spent-t days craf-crafting," he finishes. I snorted in anger and dropped him, kicking him away when he landed in a heap at my feet. I looked away from his gasping form and set my sight on the boy, an arm wrapped tightly around his stomach, propping himself up on an elbow. I walked over to him and frowned when he whimpered and hunched further in fear. With a bending of my knees, I found myself facing him.

"What really happened, dear?" I asked gently, trying with everything I had to convey an attitude of kindness, and familiarity. It seemed to work, for he unfurled a bit, and swallowed.

"I-I was holding the vase, and just looking around, it's very pretty here, and I wasn't paying attention, so he hit me, and I dropped it, the vase," The boy said, his lower lip trembling a bit before he took a deep breath. "Then l made a noise, so he pushed me, and I fell and hit my head, and then he stomped on me," He finished, arm curling slightly as he remembered his injury. A few wayward tears made their trek down his fearful face, and with a gentleness I did not know I possessed I took him into my arms and wiped away his tears, feeling a surge of motherly protection. 

"I don't know why he hurts me, I try so very hard to be good, I do everything he asks, and all he does is hit me!" the boy finished, started to break down.

"It's okay, dear, you're safe," I said, moving his floppy brown hair out of his red-rimmed eyes. "I won't let anything hurt you,"  The boy looked into my eyes, and with a sob of agony he buried his head into my chest, holding on to me as he wailed. With a look at Coran, he nodded understandingly and collected the few remaining villagers and escorted them out of the throne room. I peeled the sniffling boy off of me and pulled him up.

"Go wait with my friend, okay?" I told him, pointing at Loki, and with a small nod, the boy shuffled over to him. Loki looked at me in angry confusion, awkwardly making room for the boy on his cushions and I gave him a reassuring smile before I turned to the recovering waste of matter on my floors. I harshly yanked on his arm, pulling him towards my face. 

"If you ever harm this child again, there will be no cave, no crack or crevice, no barren world, no far reach of the Tree of Life where I will not find you," I said venomously, my voice low, my face twisted into undeniable anger, my posture screaming danger. He trembled and shrunk in on himself, trying to escape. I grabbed his other arm and stepped into his space.

"I will hunt you to my last breath, and I will torture you, causing more pain then you can imagine, and you will beg for mercy, beg me to kill you, and I will. Not out of mercy, but because scum like you don't deserve to live," I hissed. The man whimpered and tried to look away but I traded his arm for his jaw and let Banshee release her claws, her cackling laugh rumbling out of me as he squealed in pain. I looked deep into his eyes, and let him see the anger, the danger, the impending destruction swirling in their now-golden depths.

"You will never be free of me," I whispered, the words softly fanning across his face, but I knew they had met his ears for his eyes widened and he keened in despair and terror before blubbering, tears dripping down his face. I snarled in disgust before pushing him away from me, smiling when he fell.

"Guards!" I barked, letting my voice rise and resonate, waiting for the doors to burst open. When the did I flung my hand towards the pathetic mass.

"Take this pitiful excuse for a life form away from me, out of the palace," I ordered, and within moments the crying man was stumbling out of the throne room, trying to keep up with the fast, efficient pace of the guards. I breathed a few calming breaths, before turning to the small child. He raised his head and I made my way over to the cushions, extending a hand. He placed his small fingers into mine and I smiled softly.

"I have another friend, who will take you up to have a bath, and then you'll have dinner, does that sound good?" The boy nodded.

"Thank you, Your Highness," he said gratefully, looking up at me like a hero. A little sadly, I remembered that he was a child, and he didn't know what I really was. Coran entered again and took the child off to the baths.

A hand on my arm startled me and I lifted my gaze to see Loki looking at me with the same expression the child had, as if I had just saved the world. My breath caught in my throat, no one had ever looked at me like that, no one that mattered. My mother and father, everyone I was close to wore a mask of fear, revulsion, and suspicion when they heard of the demons in my blood, so unlike the expressions of love and friendship I had grown accustomed to. Loki looked at me as if I was a jewel he had accidentally dug up, a beloved keepsake he had found again, an amazingly impossible feat of nature. A warmth bloomed in my chest and I lifted a hand to see if the temperature of my skin had risen, for that was the only explanation for this feeling. What was it? I searched for an answer, feeling fear as my usually sharp mind conjured up nothing to account for this. This warmth, this overwhelming surge of affection I had been feeling as soon as Loki had come. I wasn't like this, I didn't go about my day, throwing around smiles. What has he done to me? Why did I want to hug him, and protect him, and heal him, and lov- _wait! There is no way in Hel I almost said that. This is just lust, just infatuation, nothing of importance._

I closed my eyes, contemplating this current predicament, when a sudden wave of exhaustion, both mental and physical swept over me, causing me to slump in Loki's hand.

"My Queen!" He said, catching me in his arms. I relaxed in his grip, wishing nothing more than to be in my bed, asleep.

"Take me to bed, Loki. These past few day's events have drained me," A sudden change in direction had my eyes flying open, and I looked into Loki's cheeky grin as his green eyes glittered. His left hand supported my shoulders, and his right was wedged behind my knees, effectively cradling me against his chest. I laughed quietly and yawned, smiling at him when concern filled his expression. He started to walk, and it was not long before the smooth rock of his gait lulled me into semi-consciousness as I nuzzled into his neck, one arm lazily draped across his shoulders. I breathed in his fresh scent, feeling content. I remembered the time I had been on a ship, the ocean's dark waters gently rocking us, the sharp sent of salt swirling in the air. I compared it to being carried by Loki, surrounded with his cool crispness, and decided that I liked him better. All too soon, Loki shifted my position again, and pushed open the doors to our chambers. I huffed, annoyed as I realized he was going to set me down, and my safe haven in his arms would be taken. I opened my eyes as he set me down on the bed, and slipped off my slippers, but they closed again as Loki tucked me into bed. He smiled warmly and made to turn away but I grabbed his hand before he could. He turned back to face me and lifted an eyebrow in question.

"My Queen?" He inquired, relaxing his fingers into mine.

"Stay?" I found myself asking sleepily. I could feel him smile.

"Alright," he said softly, and I felt the bed dip slightly as he climbed in. I turned over and scooted over to him, snuggling into his side. He stiffened slightly and ran timid fingers through my hair. I sighed peacefully and gave in to the crushing tiredness. Before I gave up all of my control however, a cool hand tenderly caressed my cheek and soft lips were pressed to my brow.

"Rest well, my sweet Adelaide," said a soothing voice, guiding me into a welcoming blanket of peace.


	12. Hit By The Fists, Then By The Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen lets her badass flag fly, and then lets her sadass flag fly.  
> (Does that work? Is that okay?)
> 
> p.s. sorry for that horrible wordplay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared. Super Feels coming at ya. And I also changed how the Queen is part Frost Giant, it seemed like a cool idea, and then it just didn't feel right. Sorry for those who wanted that.

I woke early and took note of my surroundings slowly, struggling to focus until clarity came. A warmth seeped into my clothes and I snuggled closer to the source, before lifting my head and looking down on the serene face under me. The early morning light played along the lines of his face, throwing his cheeks into shadow, making his cheekbones look sharp to the touch.  _So beautiful...what time is it?_ I very carefully lifted my body off his, stopping once when he sighed and turned his head. When I had successfully extracted myself I pulled a small string, which led into the servants quarters, ringing a small bell labeled ' _Queen'._ I waited in my open door, so as not to disturb Loki should the servant knock. In a matter of minutes, one and 43 seconds to be exact, Eden turned into the hall and flashed me a radiant smile. Before she spoke, I put a finger to my lips and shushed her. Confusion drew her brows together, so I motioned for her to look in my room, and see Loki still sleeping, snoring lightly. She giggled quietly and nodded.

"How long have I been asleep?" I whispered as I closed the door and stepped into the hall.

"You've slept through yesterday's dinner and this is just after dawn, Your Majesty," She replied. "You were drawn tight as a bowstring, no one can blame you," I nodded, when a thought suddenly appeared.

"Why were you sent?" I asked her. Eden looked confused again.

"You called?" She answered, pitch lifting at the end, turning the statement into a question.

"Yes, I know, but why you?"

"Oh," she said. "The Head of the House thought it would be best if I was sent, she thought we shared a bond," she finished shyly, referring to the head servingwoman.

"Well, she made a wise choice," I told her, chuckling when she blushed. "Anyway, I am absolutely starving, could you fetch me some breakfast?" 

"Of course, My Queen," Eden bowed, then turned on her heel, making off down the hallway.

I re-entered the room, and got dressed quietly, in trousers and a tunic, cursing when my elbow knocked the wardrobe. I stayed still for a moment, watching Loki as he shifted again. I pulled on some slippers, brushed my hair, trying, and failing, to put it up into some braid-style-thing, sighing as it fell and swished against my back, until I gave up and put in in a simple braid. I waited in the hall again, until I saw Eden walking towards me with a tray full of food. My stomach grumbled and Eden tried to hide a laugh. I looked at my stomach, feeling betrayed, as a giggle slipped out of Eden. I harrumped but squeezed her shoulder lightly.

"Get Coran for me, please," I said. When she left, I crept back into the bedroom, before making into the sitting room, and grabbing a seat where I could see Loki. I ate breakfast quickly, sighing in satisfaction while I rubbed my filled stomach, when a knock sounded through the room. I stiffened as Loki mumbled something and turned over, facing the door. I tip-toed out of the room and opened the door, an annoyed look on my face. Coran greeted me and moved aside while I moved into the hallway.

"How is the child?" I inquired.

"He was bathed, fed dinner, and he spent the night in one of the guest rooms. I had one of your advisors locate his aunt, and she was very happy to see him again. He gave his thanks, and made you this," Coran reached into the satchel he always had on him, and retrieved a piece of parchment. HE handed it to me, and my heart warmed. The child had drawn me a picture, crudely, but endearing all the same. A woman- I think supposed to be me, held the hand of a smaller stick figure-probably the child. Around the two were hunched forms with angry faces. Behind me was a pile of them. The child had written at the bottom, 'Saving the day!' and signed a messy 'Love, Anserv'. I studied it a bit more, smiling to myself, before turning onto more important matters.

"What do I have for today, Coran?" I asked him. He shuffled through the satchel until he came to a folder, opening it and taking out piece of parchment. 

"You have a diplomatic delegation from Alfheim at noon and you invited them to stay for lunch, after that, you have to go over treaties with Vanaheim and Muspelheim, and that's it," he answered.  _Ugh, delegations._

"Why did I invite them for lunch, again?" I questioned, putting a hand to my forehead, cursing myself.

"Erm, when we visited, they let us stay, so you said you would return the favor,"

"Right, I hate being courteous," I mumbled. "Thank you, Coran," 

"Always a pleasure, My Queen," Coran smiled. 

"When he wakes, feed him and send him down to the training room,"  Coran nodded and went off to get a servant. Because I would not be there, some unlucky servant would have to sit and watch him sleep until he woke, and I knew that Loki would be feeling the presence in his sleep, and the servant would most likely be uncomfortable as well, being in the Queen's bedchamber with the God of Mischief. I carefully placed the drawing on my desk before making my way to the training room.

Luckily, when I got there, it was empty.  I ordered a servant to round together several guards and fit them in suits. Suits made to protect their bodies so I could shoot arrows and throw knives at moving targets. They were designed so once hit in a vital area, or enough as to cause death to a real person, the suit would flail like a real body, and lock up, so the person could not fight again.  Once fitted, they surrounded me in a circle and I grinned malevolently.  _Perfect._ One came at me, wooden sword raised high. I ducked, and dived between his legs, getting up and throwing a knife at the back of his head. He grunted and fell, the suit reacting and restricting his movements.  He was 'dead'. Another raised his shield as one of my knives aimed for his heart. I ran at him, jumping at the last minute to kick at the shield, pushing him back and using the force to backflip away, throwing a knife at his head. One tried to catch me, but as I fell, I turned, and latched onto his back, stabbing him in the heart and grabbing his shield. I raised it in time to deflect another's blow, grunting when the force made me lose my footing and fall. I put the shield on my feet and pushed up at him, pushing him back enough to roll away to my feet. We circled each other when he ran at me. I ducked easily and agilely made my way around his attempted blows. He was getting frustrated, and sloppy. On one wobbly downswipe, I held his arm down with my forearm and kicked at his legs. He fell heavily and I threw a knife down at him, using his stomach to catapult me at another, grabbing his head as I flipped over him, twisting so I landed on my feet, and my grip pulled him down. He gasped as the fall left him breathless, and I used this moment to embed a knife in his chest, before standing and throwing the shield at a guard, before turning to block another's swipe, but not before he slashed at my arm. I moaned and grabbed at my arm, panting and hunching over in pain.

"M-my Queen?" the guard asked timidly, reaching out a hand to me. I lifted my head, and flashed him a tricky smile, before grabbing his extended hand and twisting, so his arm came behind his back and he fell. Stabbing him in the back, I turned to face the last guard. We faced off, and circled each other, both looking for a chink in their defense, their reaction time. After a while, I feigned relaxation, and the guard made his move when I looked away, but I fell, curling into a ball and rolling away, throwing knives. He blocked them with his shield and we were back to circling each other. Without warning I launched myself at him, anticipating the lifting of his sword and throwing a knife at his arm, the slight reactionary bend giving me enough space to tackle him to the ground. We grappled for control and he kicked me away and picked up his sword, both of us panting. I threw a knife at his thigh, and while he blocked it with his shield, I threw another at his unprotected thigh. The suit buckled and he fell to his knees. He slashed his sword at me and I spun around, throwing a knife at his stomach, and the suit fell so he was on his hands and knees. I walked behind him and straddled his back.

"I win," I whispered, and with a swipe of my arm, a knife protruded from his back, and the suit crumpled. I snickered before lifting the magic of the suits, and the guards slowly rose and dusted themselves off, bowing to me and leaving. A soft sound drew my attention, and I turned to see the source. Loki stared at me, a disbelieving look on his face, jade eyes wide. He walked toward me slowly and grabbed my hand.

"You are..." He said softly, gazing into my eyes. "You rob me of words,"  I gasped and blushed, looking away from the awe in his eyes.

"Thank you..." I murmured softly, trying to ignore the burning of my cheeks. _Why does he always say things I'm not used to?_  Queen's aren't supposed to blush. "Would you like to come with me to the gardens?" A stupid question though, he had no choice. He nodded and smiled. After I put away my knives, we left. It was a calm day, the sun shining brightly. We sat on the grass and stayed in silent camaraderie. 

"Come here, Pet," I ordered Loki, patting my legs. He looked at me for a moment before sliding over and putting his head in my lap. I leaned back against a tree and ran my fingers through his hair, enjoying the silky feel of the motion. He made a little sound and turned his head, nuzzling his cheek into my upper thigh. My breath hitched a little at how intimately close he was to a certain place on my body.  _How to distract myself....he's gonna know what I'm thinking!_

"My mother used to say, that the reason the sun shines so much brighter then any of the other stars, is because it is Valhalla, and that each time a brave warrior fights and dies, their spirit joins the others, making the sun shine that much brighter," I told Loki. "I know it's not true though. It's just because it's closer in proximity than any other, but it was a nice thought for a young girl," I said. Loki turned his head and opened his eyes. 

"Your mother has passed?" He questioned softly.

"Yes," I replied curtly, hoping he would pick up on my bodily and verbal cues not to ask how. He did, and after a few moment I relaxed again.

"She was my favorite, and that's what made the betrayal that much worse," I said softly. Loki's eyes opened again and fixed on my face. I swallowed and continued."After I came out of my chambers, feeling like I had enough power to control the changes my body had went through, I found my mother, laughing and doing needlework with a servantgirl. When she saw me, she said nothing. All she did was introduce me to the girl. Her name was Anna. That's it. She dismissed me as easily as swatting a fly away. I sought out my father but got the same reaction. All around was suspicion, and fear, no one would look me in the eye. My handmaidan was released of her duties," My voice got softer. "I was so young, how could they do that? Turn me away as if I was nothing? I know I had not seen them for months, but I was their daughter! They were supposed to love me. That's what parents do! Instead they gave me their backs, and stabbed mine, taking in that pathetic wench and giving her the care and affection I had earned from birth! The reason I learned magic was for them, did you know that?" I asked Loki, looking down into his eyes, and not being able to see anything but the brilliant green, tears making my vision blurry. "Endurians handle magic differently than other races. We can cast spells, just not on ourselves. I can't heal myself, or shield myself, or anything of that sort. To learn magic as an Endurian is seen as incredibly noble, for it is an entirely selfless act. I did it for them. To show them I was not a monster. To make them proud," I said bitterly.

"You are not a monster," Loki said. I laughed harshly. 

"Yes, I am. I know it," 

"No. You are not," He said, enunciating each word. I pushed him away and made a pained sound. Loki sat up grabbed my hand. I jerked it out of his grip and summoned Banshee. She exploded to the surface, bringing her glowing skin, hair, and eyes, her black talons.

"What do you see!" I shouted, her voice mixing with mine, making it a purr, low and sultry and dangerous. "What can you see, but a monster!"  Loki slowly reached toward me, as if I was a wounded animal, and in a way, I was. He grabbed both of my hands and curled his around them.

"I see beauty," He said simply, and I tried to laugh, but a warbling sob was all that came out.

"Beauty?" I asked weakly. He smiled softly, but I could see the reflected pain in his eyes, a kaleidoscope of every emotion I had held in all these years. He brought my fingers up and kissed each talon. 

"Beauty," Loki repeated, and with another harsh sob Banshee retreated, the emotions I was feeling making her uncomfortable. I clung to Loki and whimpered.

"How?" I asked him. "Do you find beauty in yourself?" I hoped he would get mad, and stop calling me beautiful, so I could retreat into my comfort zone, my usual shell of anger and acceptance, but he seemed to know this.

"No," He answered. "But your monster is prettier than mine," I gave him a watery smile. 

"Show me, please," I said. Loki shook his head.

"No," He said.

"Loki, please," I begged. I didn't know why, but I needed this, I needed to see him. He searched my eyes, and saw the desperation. He dropped my hands and I immediately felt the loss, clasping them together to make up for it. He drew in a shaky breath and looked away. Loki's change was much slower than mine, his pale complexion slowly giving way to a dark blue that crept until it covered him, dark horns pushing against the skin on his forehead and emerging, curling much like the horns on his golden helm, but shorter. I gasped when he turned to look at me, for his brilliant emerald eyes had been overrun by a dark red, like dried blood.

"See?" He said softly, but not without pain. "I told you your's was prettier," I took a deep breath and went to grab his hands but he pulled away.

"No, I'll hurt you. You can't touch me," he whispered. 

"Banshee will protect me," I said just as softly. And she did. As soon as I grasped his hands, she sprung forward to protect me, my hands casting a soft golden glow on the blue of his skin. I held his hands, much like he had held mine.

"You're beautiful," I breathed, tracing the ridges on his forearms. He laughed quietly, a tear trickling down his cheek. 

"What an amusing situation, both of us trying to convince the other of their beauty," He replied, trying to hide the pain with his quick wit and humour, but the tremor in his jaw ruined his disguise.

"But you are!" I told him. He nodded and more tears fell. Loki looked away, hiding his face. I turned his head back torwards me, feeling a pang in my heart when I saw hus blank expression in contrast to the agony in his eyes. I tried to wipe the tears away, but soon he was sobbing quietly, and I pulled him into an embrace. He clutched at me like he was sinking, and I was his only lifeline. I knew the feeling. I could feel the pain coming off him in waves, and they multiplied mine, until I was crying quietly. Loki heard and he hugged me tightly, and together, we let go of years of pain, and anguish, and came out victorious, triumphantly shining and holding our joined hands high.


	13. Ugh, Delegations, and Flirtations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all. What do delegates have to do with flirting, you ask?  
> Nothing.  
> But cheeks on thighs and oil on backs do.
> 
> Got your attention now, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, again, I'm still trying to get used to my changed schedule, so just hang in there!  
> Thanks for everything!
> 
> btw, the runes described are real, and have actual meaning. Check 'em out.

After our emotional release, we sat in trusting silence, listening with closed eyes to the sound of the wind dancing along the trees and bushes. Soon, a cleared throat forced me to open my eyes and attempt to look regal, even though I was so relaxed I felt like air. 

"The delegation arrives in thirty minutes, Your Highness," Coran said calmly. "Two servinggirls have been sent to your chambers to assist you with your armour,"

"Alright, Coran, thank you," I responded. When he had left, I stoked Loki's hair for a few moment before repeating what Coran said. There was no response.

"Loki?" I questioned. 

Nothing.

"Lo-,"  A soft snore interrupted me.  _Cute._ Loki had fallen asleep with his head in my lap. The sunlight shone through the leaves, highighting the angles on his face, making his beauty that much more breathtaking.

"Loki, dear," I whispered, softly shaking his shoulder. He muttered something before nuzzling further into my dress. "Loki, wake up,"

"No," he replied. I giggled and shook him harder.

"Loki, I have to go, a diplomatic delegation from Alfheim is about to be here and I have to don my armour,"

Slowly, slowly, a green eye peeked out from the fabric of my dress, the cream making his eyes glitter like jewels.

"Why?" He asked, his voice muffled by the fabric.

"I am a queen, I have to look the part. My armour is for show, unless I need to actually fight," He groaned and turned his head so he faced the sky, then he sat up and offered a hand. I took it and we stood. When we started to walk, I noticed he still had my hand. My insides tickled, and the sensation was a little uncomfortable, so I dropped Loki's hand and opened the door for him. On our way to my chambers, he asked a question.

"Can I join you, My Queen?" He asked. I shook my head.

"You will not be burdened with the hardships of being me," I answered.

"I would not be burdened," Loki insisted. I said nothing and walked into my chambers, looking to the two servinggirls standing next to the rack which held my armour.

"Hello, Eden and...?" I said, raising a brow at the brunette girl next to Eden.

"Bris, Your Majesty," the girl replied. I nodded and stepped forward to take my leggings and undershirt from her. I looked at Loki and he turned away, blushing, moving to inspect his drawings on my desk. With Loki facing away, I shed my dress and put on the aforementioned clothes. Next, Eden fitted me with a tough studded leather corset, tightly cinched in the back, golden interlocking plates following the lines of my ribs and spine, making for easier movement. The runes ansuz, gebo, wunjo, algiz, sowulo, teiwaz, dagaz, and hagalaz, were carved into the gold, painted over in cream. Leather strips hung down from the bodice, fitted with tough golden squares. A thick belt sat just above my hips, attaching via hidden buckles, green fabric hanging down from my left hip, across my back to my right hip, the large gap in the front allowing me to run without it hindering me. Next came my shoulder pieces, attaching to the corset with more buckles and hidden ties, four plates overlaying each other, following the curve of my shoulder to end at a high, stiff collar, a green cape sweeping down to brush the ground. Lastly, vambraces and graves protected my forearms and shins, while cuisses strapped around my thighs protected the fatal arteries there, and two gauntlets of thin but strong metal shielded my hands. Nothing but my  boots remained now, buckles gleaming and supple leather shining, until Bris knelt down and placed them on my feet.

When the last buckle had been buckled I jumped and stretched, allowing my magic to make minor changes, pulling tight some places and loosening others. I checked myself in the mirror, adjusting and primping, admiring the hard edge the armour gave me. 

"Thank you, dears. You are dismissed," They left with a bow and I turned to Loki with a grin. "What do you think?"

He swallowed thickly and met my gaze with pupils dilated. "You look magnificent," he gushed.  A sneaky grin tried to appear, but I hid it with innocent surprise.

"Oh, you think?" I asked, fiddling with a ring on my finger. I dropped it, using magic to make it roll between Loki's feet where he sat.  _Perfect._ Loki bent down to get it but I stopped him.

"Don't fret, I'll get it," I told him. He stilled immediately and his eyes were glued to my form as I marched toward him. I knelt and placed a hand on his thigh for 'balance', pretending to root under the bed for the ring, letting my cheek brush his leg while my hand rhythmically tightened it's grip. His breathing hitched and I smiled naughtily, stretching my arm further.

"Ooh, I've got it!" I said happily, leaning until my cheek rested against his inner thigh, my breath curling over his belt, hiding a snicker when his legs opened further on instinct. "Just a little further," I pressed my cheek harder into his thigh, biting my cheek when I head his breathy moan, raking my nails higher up his thigh. When I pulled back, he whined quietly until he bit his lip. "See? I told you I would get it!" I exclaimed. Loki's pale cheeks were flushed and his eyes were dark, his breathing rough. I winked and stood, dragging my nails down his leg as I did so. "Well, I've got a delegation to go to, have fun!" I turned on my heel, making for the door when he questioned me.

"What will I do with you gone?" 

"No idea, ask a servant to take you to the library, or the training room, or just wander around!" I responded as I opened the door. With one last shared smile, I made my way down the hall, into the throne room, which had been prepared with tables and chairs. When I reached the doors, Coran greeted me, and darted inside the room to alert the Elves of my arrival. When I entered, all was quiet, save for the creak of leather and the swish of capes as they bowed and inclined their heads in greeting and respect.

"King Freyr," I said, walking to stand in front of him.

"Queen Adelaide," He replied.

"I hope your travel was safe and comfortable,"

"Oh yes, Enduran is a most wonderful realm,"

I grinned. "Many thanks, I could say the same of Alheim,"

Freyr smiled, and I made my way to my throne. We spoke, discussing current priorities, ongoing programs. They were very interesting, and we spent the day sharing theories and ideas on how to improve inter-realm trade and travel, and the like. Afterwards, we ate lunch, and then I went over and revised the kingdom's treaties with Nilfheim and Muspelheim. Finally, weary and agitated-one of Muspelheim's advisers was severely pushy-I ordered dinner be sent to my chambers and I trudged up the steps, footfalls heavy. When I slipped through my chamber door, I was slightly taken aback to see Loki sprawled out with a book in front of the fireplace, like a little kid. I almost laughed, but my stubborn irritation held it back. He looked up with a smile, but it faded into a frown when he sensed my mood.

"What's wrong, My Queen?" 

I sighed. "Just some talkative old goats that make treaty revisement difficult," I responded snappily. When his frown deepened, I sighed again and dramatically draped myself on the bed. I felt him behind me, but I still jumped when his hand touched my back.

"Perhaps a massage would soothe you?" He suggested quietly. I was shocked, and thankful for the furs which hid my blush. I waited until my cheeks stop burning to respond.

"That sounds wonderful," 

"You'll have to take your armour off," Loki said. 

"Uggghhh," I groaned. 

"I'll get them,"he promised. I drifted in space until I heard Loki clear his throat, then I hauled myself off the bed and shuffled toward my armour stand.

"Make it quick," I sighed. Both girls nodded and went to work. In record time, my armour was off me and on the rack, and I was standing in my leggings and undershirt. I dismissed them with a hand and walked to the bathroom, already peeling off my undershirt. When I had relieved myself and brushed my hair I returned to the bed and held my hand out to Loki.

"Oil," I explained, handing him a little bottle. His eyebrows raised and he followed me to the fireplace, where I laid belly-down on some cushions and let the towel covering my bare back fall away. I relaxed into the pillows. I felt him straddle my behind, his knees on either side of my hips, and gasped when I felt the cold oil drip onto my back. I held my breath in anticipation, breath that came out in a quick huff when I felt his long fingers start to spread the oil around. As soon as it covered my whole back, his deft fingers worked into my shoulders, drawing a low moan from my chest. I flushed in embarrassment, but quickly got over it as his fingers followed my spine, into my lower back, where he hit a spot that made my whole body shudder. He stilled for a moment, then ran his fingers over that spot again, and I involuntarily shuddered again. Then he made a fist and ran his knuckles up and down either side of my spine, drawing that moan out again. When he used the heels of his hands to work the kinks and knots out of my lower shoulders, more embarrassing sounds came from me, but I was too far gone in bliss to care. Loki started humming a song, then he started singing softly, the silky cadence of his voice running over me as smoothly as the oil. The logs in the hearth crackled and I watched the flames dance, sighing in pleasure. I don't know how long, he worked on my back, but when he stopped moving, I barely noticed, for how far gone I was.

"Adelaide," He whispered. I wished I had the strength to reprimand him, but I felt like jelly, and all that came out was a sound between 'what' and 'hmmm'.

He gently helped me up, supporting me and the towel covering my chest, tugging a nightdress over my head. I let the towel fall out from under the dress as I leaned heavily on him, removing the breaches I had on. When they were off, I stumbled to Loki's chest and clutched his tunic, my eyes already closing. He chuckled warmly, his breath fanning out over my hair, and lifted me, carrying me to bed. He set me down and tucked me in before getting in himself.

"Rest well, My Queen," He said. But I wanted to cuddle.

"Pet," I said sleepily.

"Rest,"

"C'mere," I demanded, tugging on his fingers. He complied and scooted over to me and I directed his head to my chest, directly over my heart. His arm curled around my soft stomach and one of his legs intertwined with mine. I sighed in bliss and pressed a kiss to his raven hair before pulling him closer to me, relishing the way he nuzzled his body into mine. The last thing I remembered before falling into darkness, was the feather soft touch of his fingers tracing designs on my hand, and his honeyed voice softly singing to me.


	14. Such A Perfect Pup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets mouthy, and the Queen decides she doesn't like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is a spoiler. If you don't like them, read this after the chapter. However, this might help you understand.
> 
> The Banshee is ancient magic. The magic takes up most of the Queen. She can do a little magic, small stuff. Nothing on the level of what Loki can, though. If she tries, there is immense pain, like trying to stretch a muscle too far. She's like a bottle, 3/4 full. The 1/4 left is magic she can do. She can't use the curse's magic to conjure stuff either.
> 
> That's it. Thanks for reading, and sticking around.

 A week later, I woke, fully expecting Loki to be near me, stretching my hand out and frowning when all I met was cold sheets. I sat up groggily, and looked around, searching for some sign of Loki. When I found him, he was standing in front of the glass wall, the sunlight playing on his face again. I let out a little sigh. He was just so beautiful, so undeniably handsome, so profoundly attractive. 

"Pet, what are you doing?" I asked, sleep making my voice a little hoarse. I cleared my throat and waited for his answer.

"May I ask you a question, My Queen?" Loki asked slowly.

"No, Loki," I chuckled. "Not until we have had breakfast," I tinkled the serving bell, and waited for the food to be brought up. While I was waiting, I pushed aside dresses until I found one I liked, deep green with gold embroidery and cream accents, and made my way to the bathroom, rubbing sleep from my face and putting on the dress. A knock alerted me to the servant and I barked out a quick, "Enter," to which the servant replied. I exited the bathroom and waited until the servingboy left to sit down, Loki joining me. We ate in relative silence until Loki spoke again.

"Have you been sufficiently fed to take my question now, My Queen?" He asked. I froze, the spoon carrying my broth stopping halfway to my mouth.

"I don't appreciate the tone of your voice, Pet, but since you asked so  _nicely_ , I think I can take it now," I responded, warning him with a sharp gaze.

"I think I deserve my magic now,"

My spoon froze again.  _If he continues with this attitude, I think I will never get to finish my broth._  

"You think you... _deserve_...your magic back?" I asked, a warning tone matching my earlier gaze. I chuckled, low and dangerous. "You deserve nothing, Pet,"

"I have been more than cooperative, reduced to a mere puddle at your feet, going above and beyond what was expected of me," He replied, eyeing me with his jade orbs. I placed my hands on my knees, and straightened my back.

"You deserve nothing,  _Pet_ ," I repeated sweetly. "And as I said before, I do not appreciate the tone of your voice,"

" _You_ don't...appreciate...the tone of  _my_ voice?" He asked, a brow raising.

"It seems you are forgetting your place," I said softly, knowing that the dissonance between my voice and words disturbed most people.

" _My_ place?" Loki asked incredulous. "I am a prince of Asgard, a highly accomplished sorcerer, the God of Mischief, of Lies and Fire and Chaos, and you are but a pathetic mortal queen, ruling over a weak kingdom, always second to my realm. Did you really think you could change me? Your nonsensical words only made it easier to mold you to my whims. Your wild fantasies and petty hopes played into my plans like puzzle pieces,"

I sucked in a breath and fought to control my anger. I suddenly remembered a day when Thor had come to fetch the report I made on Loki's progress.

_Thor's brow furrowed as he read over the parchment. He looked up slowly._

_"This does not sound like the brother I know,"_

_I kept my face blank. "Perhaps I am changing him,"_

_Thor's face suddenly reflected a deep sadness, an aching loss, his clear blue eyes closing in remembrance for a split second._

_"Loki is very intelligent. He is capable of manipulation to a devastating level, able to hide his true feelings and thoughts under a carefully constructed mask. I fear this is what he is doing now. This radical change does not seem like something that would be possible this quickly._

_I bristled. Had Loki been deceiving me? No. Surely not, not after what we shared, what we had told and showed each other._

_"I understand, thank you for your concern," I told Thor, keeping the tight feeling in my chest from showing on my face._

_Thor looked at me with with sympathy, that deep sadness reappearing._

_"If Loki is indeed lying to you, I apologize on his behalf," Thor replied, smiling sadly before turning and leaving, stopping on the Bifrost gate, his feet shuffling among the runes._

Rage filled me, how could I be so stupid? So unsuspecting, where had my backbone gone? Had I really been reduced to this? A gushing female, won over by soft touches and gentle smiles? He lied. Spouting untruth, playing me like an instrument, all to the goal of getting his magic back. Trickster. No, I took a breath and prepared to retaliate.

"That is true. Except for one thing. You are not a prince of Asgard, you are an unwanted runt, Laufey's son, abandoned and let to die on a cold, distant, forsaken rock, taken in only because of pity, and kept for the same reason," I said, Banshee sparking when she heard and felt the oncoming aggression. "Do you forget why you are here? You are here because nobody wants you, and you will stay here because nobody wants you. Your real father didn't want you, and your fake father doesn't want you. You do seem to have forgotten, as you have forgotten that my kingdom is not the only one who always comes second," 

I turned to look at him, realizing I had stood to face the windows as I verbally shredded him. I pushed away the sliver of guilt I felt as I looked into his shocked and hurt eyes, and fixed on the mask I had perfected for situations such as this. A mildly amused and curious twist of the lips, eyes cold and unfeeling. Loki stood up abruptly.

"Ah, that is also true, but you seem to be forgetting something as well. Your own mother, your own father, chose an unworthy, palace maid over you, their own daughter. Does that not eat away at you? You were just as unwanted as I was. I can understand though. Who would want you? A psychotic, rage-filled monster, capable of only destruction and pain. I have read through your notes. You can only hold a meager amount of magic, but of course you overlooked this while on your pitiful quest for acceptance. You found out that the ancient magic of your Banshee barely allowed you to conjure anything. You are as weak as ever, and you let that reflect on your kingdom," Loki hissed, his elegant hands folding neatly behind his back. "You are nothing but an inadequate, meager, useless, wretched, pitiable creature, unfit to even stick to the bottom of my boots," 

I stayed silent, making an effort to keep the mask in place, even as each of his words struck true, ringing home in my heart. I felt a gaping hole in my chest, ragged breaths threatening to push out, to reveal my true feeling. I ignored the tight sensation in my chest and smirked.

"Let me show you just how much destruction and pain I am capable of, Pet," I breathed, going to reach in a pocket in space, only to find that having Banshee so close to the surface, blocked it. I took a few measured breaths and tried again, exhaling when the magic flowed through my body quickly, allowing me to reach through thin air, my hand disappearing for a second, before it returned, this time holding an item which made Loki's eyes widen. A collar.

"No," He said firmly, eyes blazing, lips uplifted in a snarl. I reached through another pocket in space, wiggling through time until I came out the other side, poking a guard and grasping his shoulder, showing him the ring I wore, embellished with the royal crest. I could hear his small shriek through space and I snickered as I brought my hand back watching Loki's nostrils flair with his angry breaths. We watched each other for some time, before the thud of feet could be heard. To his surprise, a flurry of guards sprinted in, and rushed him. He immediately fought back, and I watched in amusement as guards fell, but eventually Loki was overpowered, his raven locks stuck to his head with sweat. With the guards restraining him I stepped forward lightly. I pulled a guard aside and whispered in his ear. 

I turned back to Loki. "Now, Pet, I simply cannot allow this type of disobedience," I said softly, lips and brows drawn in a tight line. Minutes later, the guard ran back into the room, bowing deeply and presenting me with what I asked for. Loki snarled, and the sound sent a tingle down my spine as I showed him the chains and muzzle.

"Remember these?" I asked, watching them shine in the light. The same ones he had been brought in here with. A little over three months ago. I handed the guard the chains and watched in delight as they attached them, the current position he was in forcing him to kneel to be comfortable.

"You wench," He hissed. I laughed, the high peals ringing off the wall eerily. I waved the guards away, and they left with a little hesitation. 

"Pet, is that any way to talk to your Queen?" I questioned with a smirk and a tilt of my head, the hand holding the muzzle momentarily resting on my hip, the hand holding the collar hanging by my side.

"You are not my queen," Loki replied, matching my smirk with his own. I crouched in front of him and pushed his hair away from his jaw. "No," he said.

I smiled sweetly and resumed my job, ignoring his protests. "I told you I did not appreciate your tone, Pet," I reminded him.

"And here I thought you cared about me," Loki said dryly. "Don't you want to keep your pet safe?"

"Oh, Pet, to care, you have to have a heart...and I don't" I said with a sinister smile, before latching the muzzle on even as he writhed against me. He snarled and spat under it, screaming at me with his eyes. "Shh, shh, don't be angry. I've got something sure to cheer you up," 

I brought the collar up close to Loki's face, so he could inspect it with ease. I went behind him and curled around his back, laying my chin on his shoulder, my left hand grasping his free shoulder, right hand outstretched, displaying the collar with pride. It was the finest leather, studded with shining emeralds, only interrupted by golden thread spelling out one word: Pet.

"Beautiful, isn't it? I had it made specially, just for you, my darling pup," I crooned. Loki shuddered with anger, but I ignored him and made my way to the front, to face him. "Don't you like it?" I asked innocently. Loki mumbled something under the muzzle and I laughed softly. "I really don't care if you like it or not, it's not your choice,"

I kissed him over the muzzle and pulled back. Surprise and anger shined through his eyes as I pulled his hair off his neck and fastened the collar tightly. Seeing it on him, seeing him perfectly submissive, kneeling before me sent a white hot bolt of lust through me and my belly turned to liquid heat. 

"You look so nice, Pet, so perfect. On your knees, bound, with my collar around your pretty neck," I mused, running a hand through his hair. "In this moment, you are hopelessly, utterly, completely mine," Loki growled and shook his head, straining to move in his chains. "No, no, Pet. You stay here," I stepped away from him and towards the door. "I'm throwing a ball tonight, I can't wait to show all my friends my perfect pup," I said, beaming, as happy as a child with an ice cream cone. I shut the door and skipped into the hall, laughing maniacally and smiling malevolently at any who dared to meet my gaze. As I went on my way, a Midgardian adage whizzed through my head, and I threw my head back and snickered. _How fitting. How true._

Hel hath no fury like a woman scorned. 


	15. Ooh, A Sauna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen picks Loki up for a spa day, minus the girly gossip. Just toss in some tension, what's the difference?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I apologize again. I probably should've warned you guys that this month would be hectic. I have so many different things going on, and I either forget, or I just have no time or energy. I'm really gonna try to keep the updates coming regularly, because I appreciate all the people waiting, and all the kudos and lovely comments.
> 
> Thanks again!

I returned to my chambers after speaking with Coran. We had spent most of the day disussing details for the ball with relevant people. A seamstress was working on a dress, the chefs cooking food, servants arranging tables and chairs. I quivered in anticipation when I reached my doors. The sight of Loki, kneeling in front of me, wrapped in chains, wearing his collar, and vibrating with anger had buzzed through my mind countless times throughout the ball-planning ordeal. I took a small moment to compose myself, to arrange an air of apathy around myself, then I swept through the door and my eyes immediately sought out Loki. He had moved, sitting in the nook of the by window, overlooking the gardens. He made no move to acknowledge me, and I bristled. _Who does he think he is?_ I let my feet take me to him, then I layed a hand on his shoulder, caressing his neck until my hand gripped his jaw, and I turned his face to meet mine. When his blazing jadechip eyes bored into mine, I internally flinched. I had been used to the soft gazes he would throw me, the small smile he seemed to always wear twitching his lips up.

_Lies._

"Hello, Pet," I said, smirking. He tugged his chin from my grip and huffed through the muzzle. I chuckled and shook my head. "So fiesty," I moved away but sat next to him, my back against the wall, the ceremonial breastplate-which, of course, matched my dress- dug uncomfortably into my stomach, so I shifted, then signed in resignation when the new position was no less uncomfortable."I'm throwing a ball tonight, and I am positively giddy with the thought of showing you off. I've told my friends to bring all their pets too," I said animatedly, gesturing wildly. I jumped up, and spun. It was true, I couldn't wait to see the look on all the stuffy-faced nobles when they saw the great Trickster God cowed at my feet. I pulled on Loki's chains, ungracefully pulling him to his feet. He stumbled and I lent a hand to straighten him. He shrugged my hand off, staring resentfully at me. I narrowed my gaze. "You are mine, and this hopeless struggle of yours will not change that. This is not a game, and even if it was, I would still win. You will never beat me," Loki's cheek lifted, and I somehow knew he was smirking behind the metal encasing his jaw. His eyes held a curious glint, and I studied them, trying to place it, until I gave up with a silent huff, mentally filing away the strange spark. I stepped away from him again, nearly skipping to the door.

"Come along now, be a good pup. We have to go the seamstress to see some of her designs," I sang. "We have to make you look worthy of me," At that, he snarled and straightened, shifting his shoulders and tilting his jaw regally. I laughed. "You amuse me, Pet, this evening is going to be superb," I stuck a finger under his collar and pulled him with me, until I was sure he would follow. A thought struck me, and I stopped. Loki quirked a brow and stilled as well. I turned around and walked back to my chambers. I turned once, to ensure he was following, even though the rattle of the chains should have confirmed that. I went to my desk. There, I reached into the neckline of my dress, briefly fingering the necklace that sat there, the one the little boy had given me at the village council. I let go of the chain and charm and reached down farther, until I slipped my fingers into a hidden pocket, a feature that came with all of my dresses, retrieving a small key. I placed it into a lock on a hidden drawer, built into the inner side of the desk, reaching in and rooting around until I found what I was looking for, another key. It was the key Odin had given me, the only one capable of unlocking the metal restraints that held Loki. I undid them all, save for the muzzle. Loki's brow quirked again and he tugged pointedly at the muzzle and collar.

"Oh, no, Pet, those stay on," I told him as explanation. "I rather fancy the way they scream out my ownership of you," Loki's eyes crinkled, and he made a noise of disgust behind the metal. "I only took the rest off because it would have hindered the seamstresses measurements," I replaced the keys, one in a drawer and one in my dress, and we were off again, walking to the throne room. When we arrived, the seamstress was already there, setting up swatches up fabric on racks. She bowed in greeting.

"Seamstress, I must say, I am impressed," I told her, noticing the way she flushed at the compliment, setting her shoulders and standing straighter.

"I've gathered the finest fabrics, only the best for you, Your Highness," She replied, running her fingers over some of the fabric as she spoke. I set a gentle hand on her shoulder and smiled, before turning to look over the fabrics, the creams and emeralds and golds, the laces and silks and taffeta.

I pointed to a cream-coloured silk that shimmered gold in the light. The seamstress nodded her understanding and watched as I pointed to a roll of linen, deep green, infused with little pinpricks of gold. She nodded again and went to sit, dotting a quill with ink and working furiously over a sheet of parchment, drawing up a desgin. I looked over the fabrics again as I waited. We had done this many times before, and had settled into an easy routine, no words were needed. Loki stood of to the side, haughtily eyeing the fabric as if they were dirty work rags.

The seamstress cleared her throat, and I looked up, before making my way around the racks to her side. She slid the parchment my way and clasped her hands, toying with her fingers. I inspected the drawing, imagining the way it would move on me, move on him, how it would shine in the light. I spared a glance at her. She was looking at me anxiously, thumbs fumbling in circles around each other. I simply placed the parchment on the table again and nodded. She smiled in obvious relief before bowing and scurrying off, most likely to her abode to create the vision she had drawn. The fabric was magic, so in her hands it would be done quickly, not requiring stitches, just a magicked needle to thread the magic together as if it was string. With her presence gone, I turned to Loki.

"Now we will prepared for the ball. A bathe is in order, as well as several exfoliating and moisturizing procedures," I told him. Loki's eyebrows lifted in shock and he held his hands in front of him protectively. I took them in my own and lowered them. "Do not fear, Pet. It's not as bad as it sounds," I assured him, chuckling slightly. "Although, I might have to take the muzzle and collar off," I mused. "Wouldn't want them sullied," Loki nodded as I chuckled again, and I turned to head to the bathes. On the way, I stopped a servingboy and told him to tell the servants in charge of our preparation we were ready. Moments after we arrived at the bathes, four servants greeted us. Two women and two men.

I didn't know how Loki was faring, but I was in bliss. The room had been steamed, so waves of wet warmth rolled over my bare skin, coaxing pores to open. Heated stones were placed along my spine, and I was left to revel in the sensation, waterfalls crafted into the walls artfully designed to produce a melodius sound as the droplets fell, and I floated in a blissfully unaware state. After some time, the servingwomen entered again and I was flipped, a gritty, minty paste rubbed into my face, seeping into the skin, incredibly fresh-smelling grass laid overtop it, sealing it in. I was left again to drift in a daze, illusioning a nature scene inspired by the wonderful scents permeating my nostrils. I strolled through mounain pathes, running my hand along bushes and bare feet crushing grass underneath. After some time, I was led in a dreamy stupor to a bath filled with herbs and cut fruit, the scents surrounding me until I was led into a different nature illusion, a fresh meadow, overgrown with organic plants and tree branches drooping, overladen with ripe, juicy harvest.

I was lifted from the bath and brushed with crushed flower petals stuffed between two towels. The clean perfume of the flowers opened my nostrils and I breathed deeply, thoughts spinning ecstaticly unformed. I was led into another bath, the servingwomen staying to rub an oil which would draw out and enhance my natural scent, a cross between warm apples and the blossoms that grew before the fruit. The servingwomen waited for the oil to work, then pounced, grabbing shampoos and hair oils to match my scent, and enhance it, pushing their soapy and oily hands through my wet caramel locks. I was then taken out and rubbed in apple oil for my body, the many scents lingering and mixing until I smelled sunlight, and an apple orchard, joy danced through the air, and the crisp crunch of the apple spilled from my hands, the soft sway of the tree branches evident in my movements, the shine of the sun pulsing from my skin. I was wrapped in a robe that had been left to sit between layers of apples and blossoms, the scent clinging to the garment, soon to be transferred to my skin. I was given directions to a lounge and I reclined in a plush chair, spritzed with the same apple scent, all done so to keep the scent on me as long as possible. I nibbled on fruit slices and let my thoughts wander aimlessly.

The shuffle of feet drew my attention to the entrance of the lounge, and his smell hit me long before his eyes did. Some part of me rejoiced, that they had picked up on the unique scent that was Loki. I took a deep breath. Yes, they captured it perfectly, enhanced it. The chilled scent of winter swept through the room.

Pine, snow, mint, frost, Loki, Loki, Loki.

It swirled into my nostrils and ran through my body, and I involuntarily shivered. He stared at me as I stared at him, and I could see his chest rising and falling in small bursts, his nostrils flaring. I felt drunk, the smell of him dancing around me, dancing through me. I tried to shake off the feeling, but he made it near impossible when he stepped closer, and another cloud of mint and pine hit me. I was surrounded. Every breath I took was filled with him. My eyes were locked on his as he warily crept towards me. His presence was overwhelming. I stood up shakily, taking an equally shaky breath as I realized how close the motion brought me to him. He stopped in front of me, and for the fist time, I noticed how tall he really was. I was tall for my age, my species, but he still towered over me, and I could feel the waves of status coming off him. For a second, I was almost intimidated, the sight of him in all his glorious contrast. Alabaster skin, onyx hair, ridiculously dark green eyes. He leaned in close to me and my breathing hitched. He was so close I could feel his cool breath washing over my face. His emeralds stared deeply into my tiger's eyes and I could feel something coming, a wave about to crest. My heart stuttered, and my hands twitched, and without thought, I rode the wave, rising on my toes to close the distance between us. I closed my eyes and my lips met with smooth skin. I pulled away abruptly, in shock of my own actions, but the shock of what I saw overrode my own. Loki's head was turned to the side, his jaw clenched, and I realized that he had turned away, and I had kissed his cheekbone.

Millions of thoughts whizzed through my head and a stone dropped in my stomach, probably my heart, as they felt the same at that moment. Shame and rejection burned through my veins and I recoiled at the sensation. My throat constricted and my eyes started to burn. I tried desperately to get some control of the situation, but I was rapidly starting to decline. _Don't react. Don't react. Don't react._  I stepped away and became numb. Horribly, disturbingly numb. I lifted the corner of my lips and felt nothing.

"Let's depart, Pet," I heard an alien voice say. "The ball starts in about an hour, and we need to get dressed," My body turned and my feet walked down the hall and all I could hear was Banshee screeching mercilessly, outraged at the rejection, trying to force me to turn and crush my lips to his, to make him submit, to make him recognize my- _her_ -power, and I was momentarily thankful for the numbness, because otherwise I would have done just that. Banshee screamed at me, and for once, I ignored her words, focusing only on the simple task of one foot, then the other, right, left, right left. When we entered the chambers, I avoided Loki's eyes and grabbed the dress the seamstress had made off the rack placed in the middle of the room. I unseeingly drifted into the bathroom, letting the dress fall out of my hands. I stared at the girl in the mirror. Her light brown eyes were blank and she swayed on her feet.

_Of course, you dumb chit, why would he want to kiss you? Monster. He probably thought you were going to attack him. Idiot, probably thought you would tear his lips off. Stupid, stupid, he would never want that, had to swallow his disgust. No one will ever want you, disgraceful. No one wants the freak you are._

"Monster," I accused the girl, watching as a silent tear ran down her face. I raised a fist to hit her, and it was silent for a beat, when I instead brought it to my mouth, to take residence against my lips, so it could muffle the wretched sobs trying to free themselves.

 


	16. Party Hard-Wait, Not That Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PARTAYYYYY.
> 
> Being drunk is not for everyone. 
> 
> cough(Adelaide)cough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make this long. Thanks again for all the nice comments and kudos! You all are so sweet!
> 
> *mon petit perroquet = my little parrot
> 
> Oh? You thought the French made up the French language? Nope, sorry. It came from my fictional realm.

I quickly swallowed the sobs, not wanting Loki to hear. I would not be viewed as weak. A few shuddering breaths later, I grabbed a towel and wetted it with cold water. I dabbed my face, to calm myself, and to rid my eyes of their red rim. When I looked in the mirror, the girl stared back, and there was a sort of resigned sadness in her eyes. I schooled my face to portray excitement, and it looked believable, so I looked away from the mirror. I shed the robe, but not before burying my face in the collar, sighing in bliss as the fresh scent of apples swept pungently into my lungs.

I stepped into the dress, fastening a few hooks. It was beautiful, and I spun in the mirror, admiring the flow of the material. The silk had been cut into a v-neck halter top, leaving my shoulders bare, sluicing down to my mid-back. The linen had been sewn into the top as an underbust corset, wrapped straight across my middle, pulling tight when I laced it up. From there, the linen and silk weaved through each other in intricate layers of ruffles, the smallest being at my waist and the bottom of the corset, then growing bigger until it reached my ankles. My waist looked tiny, making my bust and hips look delicious in comparison, creating a jaw-dropping hourglass effect, and I beamed at myself, giddy with confidence. The seamstress had added golden shoes, higher than my everyday slippers' wedges, with pearl encrusted heels. I stepped into them and beamed again, a giggle slipping out as I lifted my hair off my neck, trying to see what it would look like with my hair up. My cheekbones stood out, and my shoulders slid smoothly into my arms. I giggled again and took a deep breath when I reached the doorknob, quickly remembering who stood on the other side. I stepped out of the bathroom quickly, and took the robe to a hamper in the bedroom, all without looking at Loki. I saw that the rack had been empty, save for a small bag, when I walked by, so I knew he would already be dressed. I closed my eyes and tried to look calm before walking into the sitting room, which was the only place Loki could be. He was examining one of my bookcases, facing away, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief, before swallowing when he turned around.

The seamstress was trying to kill me, I'm sure. I was about to overheat and die, or faint, and smack myself dead on the floor. I had seen Loki in his armour, and in the simple tunics and breeches I had dressed him in, but in Endurian formal wear...that was not something I was prepared for. Loki was dressed in a deep green tailcoat, probably wool, that sat over a matching waistcoat, and under that was a silk button up shirt, the same golden cream colour as the silk of my dress. Breeches of the same deep green disappeared into tall golden boots. He looked incredibly tall, and incredibly handsome, with the raven ends of his wavy hair touching his broad shoulders, and his eyes challenging the green of his coat. Gold buttons winked at me, and I struggled to not raise a hand to my forehead and swoon. Loki placed his hands behind his back, effectively puffing his chest out and cocked his head, quirking a brow at me. The silence stretched, and with a start, I realized I was supposed to speak, but the sheer masculinity radiating from Loki choked my throat for a moment.

 

> _**Yes, he will do well. He is the man we need, the right companion. He is worthy of us, and we will show him that.** _

I flinched at Banshee's words and sucked in a much needed breath. "If you are ready, I will call the servants to come finish us up," I said, proud of the way my voice stayed strong. Loki simply nodded, and I left the room. In the hallway, I stopped a servingboy and ordered him to call the servants in charge of getting us ready.

Loki and I waited in uncomfortable silence, until the knock on the door gratefully interrupted us. I opened it and let in two servinggirls, both carrying satchels. I motioned for them to do Loki first. They led him to my vanity, and sat him down. The girls pulled various things out of their bags, combs, hairpins, nail files, headbands, One girl set to work combing his hair, and the other grabbed a hand with a nail file. Loki looked far away, leaving a bored expression to settle on his face. Next, a girl placed mouse on the fingers of both hands, and drew them through the hair at his crown, so the locks arched over his hairline, leaving the rest to drape stylishly around his face. The girls finished his nails and stood off to the side.

I stood up and studied Loki, struggling to breath, then turned to smile at the girls. They allowed themselves a brief shared smile of success, before shifting into work mode as I sat at the vanity. They had the same method, one girl combing my hair and the other neatly manicuring my nails. However, once the girl combing my hair was done, she waited for the girl doing my nails to finish. When all four of their hands were free, they started on my hair. As they worked, I could see why it was a two-person job. Numerous different braids snaked through my hair, artistically coming together in a low bun, curled wisps of caramel framing my face. One of the girls handed me my tiara, and I placed the golden headband behind my ears, the emerald and pearl encrusted stars catching the light. I stood, and placing a hand on each girl's shoulders, squeezed gently. "Thank you," I said. The girls shared another smile, packed up their satchels, and left, plunging Loki and I into that tense silence again.

"Now we wait for Coran," I told Loki, although I was finding it hard to meet his gaze. Inwardly I scolded myself. _Acting as pitiful as a child, not being allowed a toy. It does not matter, he still belongs to you. You must forget what happened, it is of no consequence_. Concentrating on my little pep talk, I flashed Loki a quick smile, and smirked at his perplexed expression. I pulled out a book and settled down on a loveseat. Loki went back to examining the bookcase, and although my smile broke the ice a bit, the air was still thick. I read the same line about ten times, before giving up and walking to the window. The sun was still fairly high in the sky, and considering it was summer, I estimated it was about five o'clock. The ball started at six, so I prayed the time would pass quickly. Three knocks in quick succession broke my out of my reverie, and I went to the door wondering who it could be. Coran greeted me with a bow.

"The ball is starting, Your Majesty," he announced. My brows furrowed and I looked back to the window.  _I suppose I was wrong._

"Leave me, I will be down shortly," I responded. A nod and bow later, Coran's shoes were softly thumping down the hallway. "Pet" 

Loki turned toward me, posture stiff. I went to the rack, grabbing a small silk bag that hung on one of the hooks attached to the side. I dipped my hand into it, and retrieved the collar, now freshly pressed, and washed with my scent. Loki's lips twisted, and he took a step forward.

"No," he snarled. I flicked my wrist, and he froze. His eyes followed me as I circled him, even as his body strained to override my magic. 

"My dear, without your magic, you are powerless. Even in my limited skills, I am always in control," I said smoothly. "Or should I get the guards again? You seemed to enjoy that, the humiliation," Loki's eyes threw daggers and his breath came in angry pants. I stopped in front of him, and fastened the collar, twisting it so the threaded 'Pet' came to rest in front. "Can you smell that?" I asked. "Can you smell me?" I released him as I walked to the door, Loki landing awkwardly due to the position of his legs when I froze him. I turned to face him with my hand on the doorknob. "That's to remind you who you belong to," I stated, exiting before I could see his reaction. I walked in the middle of the hallway, smiling hollowly at the servants who immediately bowed. Loki's footsteps begrudgingly followed mine, both of our's halting when we neared the ballroom doors. Coran was waiting for us, and stepped in. I could hear the music stop, as several instruments started up in fanfare. Coran's voice floated through the doors to us.

"May I present, high-born ruler of Enduran, Your Majesty, Queen Adelaide!" Thunderous cheers erupted, and through this cue I pushed into the ballroom, standing confidently under the countless number of eyes upon me. My lips stretched into a smile and the nobles started up their cheers again. I waited until they quieted. 

"Welcome, my friends, to the palace of Enduran!" I said loudly, once again having to wait for the cheers to stop. "Indulge! There's plenty of ale and food for all!" The crowd roared, and I laughed a little. I ushered for Loki to follow me as I made my way to my seat at the head of the table. Once there, I had seen that the TriWarriors had seated themselves close. "Pox, Sidi, Bur," I said, smiling at them, before climbing the two steps to my chair and sitting down, Loki standing before I shot him a look. He huffed and narrowed his eyes before sitting on his cushions, glaring at everything around him.

"My Queen!" Pox said. "Would you care for a dance?" 

I snickered. "Why, Pox, there is no music!" Pox stilled for a moment.

"Quite right, quite right, I"ll be back!" He said, staggering over to the musicians. I raised a brow at Sidi, who leaned over the now-empty chair.

"He found a bottle of ale in his rucksack, and decided to finish it off, to give himself 'good fortune'," Sidi said, rolling her brown eyes as Bur chuckled quietly. 

"Ah," I responded, watching at Pox flung an arm over one musicians shoulders, waving wildly at the instrument in the young man's hands. Soon after, the musicians were playing, and a smooth, waltz-like rhythm flowed through the ballroom.

The effect was immediate.

Women jumped, dragging their dates to the dancefloor. Men jumped, racing to ask the woman of their choosing, and I chuckled to myself as I watched a man get rejected, him sighing before moving on to the next woman. A hand on my shoulders had me reflexively twisting it tightly before Pox's pained squeal could be heard. I dropped his hand immediately.

"You know better than to sneak up on me, Pox," I reprimanded. I tuned in my chair to look at him. He was rubbing his wrist and slightly pouting at me.

"I was just coming to see your thoughts about the dance, considering there is now music," He said in an accusing tone. I sighed.

"Pox, if you were to dance, you would make a fool of yourself," Pox raised a brow at me and crossed his arms. I sighed again. "I know about the ale,"

Pox blew air out of his nostrils. "I am perfectly capable," He grumbled as he sat down again.

Sidi clapped a hand on his shoulder, and soon, she and Bur left the table in favour of the dancefloor. I watched as they danced. They really would make a nice couple. Moments later, Pox ambled away.  _Probably for more ale, or a lonely maiden,_ I thought with a snort. A cleared throat soon caught my attention, and I turned my focus to the source of the noise. What I saw stretched my lips into a large smile, and I stood, ignoring, for the moment, the leash in her hand.

"Yona!" I said joyfully, hugging the woman to me tightly. She laughed and squeezed me back, before leaning away, still gripping my hand.

"Adelaide," She replied. "I have returned from Midgard. You will not believe the things I have done there!"  I motioned for her to sit, and she did. 

"Tell me," I breathed, leaning forward on my elbows and placing my head in my hands.

"I have seen all of their world wonders, swam in all their oceans, visited all their countries. Surprisingly, some of their world is beautiful," Yona told me. "I also brought you another present," She reached into a pocket of her dress and withdrew a long metal object. "This is called a 'pen'. It is a writing utensil. Much like our quills and ink, but the ink is inside the quill, and comes out when you put it to parchment," She handed it to me, and I studied it curiously.

"What does this do?" I asked, just before pushing a small plastic bit. The thing clicked and I jumped, dropping the pen as if it was on fire. Yona let out a loud peal of laughter.

"Do not fear, friend, that is it's purpose. You click it to write," She explained. I nodded, and warily picked it up, reaching through space to drop it somewhere on my desk. Yona watched my momentarily handless arm with awe. "I'll never get used to that," She breathed. 

I chuckled before finally addressing the leash she held, and what it was attached to. "Who do you have there?"

Yona beamed at me. "This is my pet, he is a Midgardian,"

"Ooh, exotic," As Yona pulled on the leash, a man came out from the side of her chair, so I could see him. He was quite handsome, I noticed. Light grey eyes flashed up to me, before fixing themselves on the floor. He was tan, topped with dark brown hair and rugged features. "I can see why you chose him," I said, smirking when I felt Loki bristle next to me.

"Yes, isn't that right," Yona responded, affectionately petting his head. "I've named him Joli," I raised a brow, wondering if she named him in our language.

"Pretty?" I asked. She quirked a smile and nodded. I laughed quietly before asking, "Would you like to meet my pet?"

Yona nodded, trying to peer around my chair. I looked down to Loki expectantly. He glared at me and made no move. I stuck two fingers underneath his collar and pulled him up, so he was forced to grab onto my legs to avoid falling, his knees perched awkwardly on the two steps. I gestured to the other side of my chair, telling him he should sit there with my hand, and he crawled around, sitting cross-legged and rubbing his knees. I rolled my eyes.  _So melodramatic_. 

Yona gasped. "Is that-did you-how did you get him!?" I raised a brow and set my hand on Loki's head, softly stroking it. Yona swallowed and tried again. "How in Yggdrasil did you get the God of Mischief to be your pet? No fair!" 

Loki preened, obviously delighted someone recognized him. He looked at Yona and smiled, straightening his shirt. He then looked to me, smirking. I ignored him.

"You know of him?"

"Of course! I was on Midgard when he attacked,"  _Oh._ I was thinking of an appropriate response when she asked her next question, "Do you loan him out?" I froze, my mind going blank. 

"Loan?" I asked. She was studying Loki now, and he was enjoying it, smiling brightly, accepting the little touches her fingertips made on him. Joli seethed next to Yona, and if looks could kill, Loki would long gone.

"Yes! You give him out to people, you know, to  _enjoy..._ " A bomb went off inside me, anger flashing through my veins and I fought to control Banshee for a few moments.

 

 

> **_NO! No! We do not give our mate out to others! He is OURS! Tell her no! Refuse her, or I will!_ **
> 
> _Shh, calm down, I will not let her take him, you are right, he is ours._
> 
> **_Yes, he is. He is ours. Mine and yours. Ours. Only_ ours.**

Yona's whispers broke me out of my conversation with Banshee, and the words I caught redoubled the anger I felt, jealousy and possessiveness a bitter vine creeping around my heart.

"Oh, what I would do with you, so many things I"m sure you would love," She said to him.

"No." I stated firmly, trying to keep the heat out of my voice. "I do not 'loan' him out," Yona looked up from Loki in disbelief. 

"Awe, come on. I'll let you have Joli for a night," She pleaded.

"No, Yona," I told her, letting some of my anger seep into my voice. She got the point and stood to leave.

"Perhaps I'll see you later?" She said hopefully. 

I nodded. "May the sun always shine for you,"

"You as well," Yona returned, leaving with a lingering backwards glance.

* * *

The night passed with twenty-three conversations with thirty-six different nobles, seven spilt drinks, one spilt on a guard off duty, two men slapped on the dancefloor, and one challenge.

"So you think you can do it?" Pox asked, slightly swaying, looking between Sidi and I. He had challenged us to see who could drink a pint of ale fastest.

"I don't think so, Pox," I said, remembering that I was an emotional drunk.

"Afraid of defeat, Your Highness?" Sidi asked, just an edge of mocking in her voice.

I was cornered. I knew it, they knew it, and they knew I knew. Queens can't back down, especially out of a drinking bet, and especially with this group of people around them. I narrowed my eyes and looked around the table. The ball was over, and the nobles had left. Pox, Sidi, Bur, Loki, and a number of palace guards were watching me anxiously. I stared into Sidi's brown eyes.

"Never!" I said. I had already had three glasses of wine, and I knew I would regret this in the morning. Pox laughed victoriously and had a servingboy pour us two pints of ale, setting one down in front of me, and one in front of Sidi. We both grabbed the handles, smirking at each other, totally confident. Pox counted us off.

"Three, two, one!" He shouted, quickly being overtaken as people shouted for their favored competitor.

I focused on swallowing the ale, and not allowing myself to choke as the bitter liquid slid down my throat. I peeked an eye over the rim to see Sidi doing the same. I glanced into my glass, then hers, trying to see who was farther along. I grew giddy and waved a hand around to grab attention as I sloshed down the remaining three gulps, slamming the pint down triumphantly while Sidi finished hers seconds after. I whooped and threw my hands up in victory, laughing as Sidi pouted. 

"Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen!" The crowd cheered. I wobbled to my feet, falling on Bur as he raced to catch me. I danced with him to the beat of the cheers, people clapping, the words growing into a song in a matter of minutes. Eventually, servants came to clean up our mess, and the guards left, leaving Loki, the TriWarriors and I.

Then the alcohol hit me.

I turned to Bur. "You know what? You want to know something?" I asked him. He smiled and shook his head, looking at the rest of the warriors. I continued anyway. "You've always been a really good friend," here I turned to the rest of them. "You've all always been really good friends," 

They all laughed as Bur sat me down and turned to Loki. "You can take her to bed, I have to take these two," he said, jerking thumbs at Pox and Sidi, both giggling like children. Loki's eyes widened and he turned to me. I made grabby hands at him and he came to me.

Bur chuckled quietly. "Good luck, mate," He said, leaving with Pox and Sidi supported by his arms. Loki looked at me and raised his eyebrows. 

I giggled and shrugged. "I do'know," I giggled again as hefted me up, putting an arm around my waist, pulling my arm over his shoulders. I staggered in my high heels as we walked, laughing loudly. Somewhere, along the way, he got tired of righting me, because he lifted me into his arms, cradling me. At this I squealed, and he cracked a smile.

"Aye! I saw that! You can't hide fromme, Mr.Grumpygrumps," I told him, poking his cheek. He rolled his eyes, but laughed nonetheless. "Ah, he laughs!" I exclaimed. I lolled my head back over his arms and laughed. The alcohol was bubbling through my veins. I was completely sloshed, the world bright and happy. "You know what? Do you want to know what?"

Loki chuckled. "What? Tell me, it sounds important," 

I gasped. "Oh yeah! It is! It's real important. I like you. Did you know that?" 

Loki's eyes widened and he looked down at me. "What?"

"Uh-huh. It's real lonely, being Queen. You know that? Lonely, lonely, lonely. I like you cos I don't feel so lonely w'you," I said, eyes equally wide.

Loki looked away for a few moments. "I don't feel so lonely with you, either," he said. 

I sighed. "Mutual satisfaction's pretty nice, huh?" Loki nodded and stopped walking when I shifted in his arms, curling up against his chest and pushing my face into the crook of his shoulder. He moved his arms a bit and resumed walking a little after.

I took a deep breath, and Loki's cool scent swept into my lungs, along with the scent of apples from his collar. It had worn off considerably though.  His hair came down to tickle my cheek, so I brought a hand up to tuck it behind his ear. His steps stuttered a bit.

"Y'know what?" I mumbled into his skin.

"What?"

I took another deep breath. "You smell pretty good, y'know that? You just smell really good all the time,"

"Really?" Loki mumbled.

"Uh-huh. Like winter. All snow-y and pine-y and mint-y,"

"Right. What else do you think of me?" Loki asked. 

I thought for a moment, my sluggish brain making it difficult. "You're pretty sexy,"

Loki laughed loudly. "Is that all?" 

I brought a fingertip to trace his jawline, placing my head on his shoulder so I could see what I was doing. "So sharp, so-so  _manly_ ," I told him. "And those cheekbones,"

Loki quirked a brow and looked down at me. "In Asgard, an abundance in muscles in considered  _manly_ ," 

"Uh, I guess. But, ew," I dragged a hand down his chest, dipping my nails on his skin and his steps stuttered again. "I like my men like you,"

"Like me?"

"All lines, and sharp edges. I just want to lick you all over," 

Loki stopped walking, fixing me with incredulous eyes and a smirk. "Lick me all over?"

I giggled. "Yes, *mon petit perroquet,"

"Why?"

"Cos I like you, and you smell good, and you're sexy,"

Loki chuckled. "That appears to be a logical thought process," 

I lifted my head from his shoulder for a moment, before snuggling into him again. "Almost there," I mumbled. 

A few steps later, Lok kicked open the chamber doors, laying me on the bed. I shucked off my shoes and tried to sit up, and when I did, I tried to stand. Loki placed a hand on my shoulder, but I waved him off and made for the bathroom, focusing on not tripping. In the bathroom, I scrambled out of my dress, and popped my head out of the bathroom. 

"Lo-Lo!" I barked.

Loki got up from the bed. "Lo-Lo?" He said, puzzled.

"I need sleep clothes. Y'know, clothes for sleep?"

"Yes, I know," He made his way to the wardrobe and fetched me a nightdress, muttering "'Lo-Lo'? I am a Prince, 'Lo-Lo' does not garner respect'' the whole time. He handed it to me, and I stumbled back into the bathroom, leaning against the door heavily as I wrestled the nightdress over my head. When it was on, I popped out of the bathroom. Loki was back on the bed.

''Lo-Lo?'' I said softly, holding onto the bedpost for support. He huffed and turned to face me.

''What?''

With a whimper, I pointed to my intricate hair, which couldn't be undone by my drunk fingers. ''I need your help,'' 

Loki looked to the ceiling and sighed. "Why must it always be me?" he mumbled, then he sat up pointed next to him on the bed.

I brokenly made my way to him, waiting for instruction. He adjusted so he slouched lowly. "Put your head here," he said, motioning to his stomach. I spread his legs and squirmed in between them, belly-down, laying my cheek on his lower stomach, and winding my arms around him, forcing my fingers between his skin and the mattress, so my fingers were splayed along his lower back.  For a few seconds I could feel him hesitate. The muscles of his abdomen moved across my face. Flex, tense, release, flex, tense, release, until I felt his deft fingers moving through my hair, undoing the braids, and pulling out pins. When a neat little pile of hair pins had gathered on the nightstand, Loki brushed his fingers through my hair, and the gentle pressure on my scalp, combined with my drunkeness quickly coaxed me to sleep.

"How do I always end up putting you to bed?" I heard Loki ask, but I was already too far gone to answer.

 


	17. Danger and Dark are Synonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past comes back to haunt the Queen, and possibly destroy everything she holds dear.
> 
> (Ooh, so foreboding)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bow down to the force of finals and other things that demand my attention, and I bow down to you, faithful readers, and beg your forgiveness.
> 
> Seriously though, I'm sorry, again. For the wait. Again.

I turned, wrapping my arms around a pillow, except it seemed much thinner, and harder than usual. I cracked an eye open and winced, waiting until the blinding light faded as my eyes adjusted. I nuzzled my head into the not-pillow, before realising it was Loki's thigh. I slowly sat up, stretched like a seal, and groaned at the pounding in my head. Green eyes met my tawny ones and I briefly wondered how long Loki had been awake. Not long, judging by the hardness poking at my stomach. I flushed slightly, chalking it up to the hangover, and extracted myself from in between Loki's legs, stumbling up and walking into the bathroom, desperate to clear my mouth of the staleness that had taken residence there.

The tell-tale knock on my door signaled Coran, as he was the only one who would dare to disturb me this early. The throbbing of my head had abated slightly, and the creak of my joints had followed the lead, quickening my steps as I answered the door. Coran was incredibly flustered, cheeks splotchy and breath ragged.

"My Queen, I beg your pardon, but the High Council had requested your presence immediately," He said quickly.

I straightened my posture and hid the quick flash of fear I felt.

"Yes, of course, thank you, Coran,"

Coran left with a bow, visibly relieved. I quickly stalked to the wardrobe and hastily grabbed a dress and it's matching armour, taking my nightdress off and dressing quickly, turning to Loki who was watching me with wide, interested eyes.

"The High Council has need for me, I'll call for someone to bring you breakfast," I told him, pulling on slippers. I stopped and looked out the window. "This has never happened before, I would be lying if I said I was not nervous," I whispered.

"That's my job," Loki replied, smirking and quirking a brow.

I laughed quietly, some of the anxiety in my chest unwinding, before the silence settled again.

"Thank you, Loki,"

Loki's eyes opened a fraction more, before he resumed a passive face, nodding in response. I stepped out of the room, stopping a servantgirl to bring Loki breakfast, before tersely walking towards the Council Room. When I entered the room, the air was tense, and I could feel the fear and anger making the atmosphere crackle. I took my seat at the head of the table, and waited for someone to speak. A man with red hair, I recognized him as Narite, spoke first.

"Your Highness, we regret calling you so early, but trust me when I say it is on a matter of great importance,"

"Of course, so please explain the importance," I responded.

Narite swallowed and clasped and unclasped his hands on the table.

"The foreign ships have attacked," He said slowly. I stilled, mind whirling.

"I said 'explain'" I snapped.

Narite swallowed again and looked around the table, meeting everyone's uneasy eyes, before settling on me again.

"The ships set siege to a small village on the outskirts of the town Durage, and the villages who survived say that the foreigners were..." Nartie continued in a hushed voice, too soft for me to hear.

"Speak up, Narite, I am getting impatient," I warned him.

"Agony's Army,"

All was silent. Every muscle locked, and my eyes were fixed on Narite, even as he fidgeted uncomfortably in my heated gaze. My thoughts came to a standstill.

"Repeat that," I whispered.

The air was impossibly thick, and I could see half the council trembling.

"Agony's Army has attacked," Narite whispered, and I almost felt sorry he had to deliver this news.

"Yes, thank you, Narite, we'll convene tomorrow to discuss battle tactics and war maneuvers," I said without emotion, standing gracefully and sweeping from the room, before blankly walking up the stairs and to my chambers, feeling the exquisite numb start to fade as I neared the emerald doors.

I stepped into the room, and stumbled toward the window, observing the gardens and trying to take deep breaths as a coil of panic wrapped itself around me. White noise rushed through my ears, and I placed an arm around my stomach, trying to hold myself together. I felt my chest get tight and was barely aware of my harsh breaths rushing out.

_He's back. He's back. Darkness, dark, dark, no hope, war, fire, fiery pain, can't escape, he's back, teeth pulled from gums, flesh torn off bones._

I thought back to the day I had found the sorcerer, the one who had conjured the curse. Agony was his name, and I hunted him down, determined to kill him, but not before making him lift the curse. I'd thought to make my family proud, coming back pure, only to insight his rage. He spent three months torturing me, trying with the whip, and mace, and axe, and sword, to force Banshee to take over, so we were one, finally setting right his failure. I still remember the blinding pain, the crippling burn and slow crawl of time. He'd set creatures on me. Then he healed me, only to throw me into fire, pulling me out and healing me, breaking each bone, then healing me, a never ending cycle of inescapable pain. Banshee remembered the torture easily and got anxious, and it just added onto my own mounting panic.

I started to shake and my knees gave out and the impact jarred me.

_I just need to breath, but there's no air, why can't I breath and my chest hurts and I might pass out, and I just need to breath, but I can't breath_

"What are you doing?"

I looked in the direction of the voice and trembled.

_A simple action, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, but it hurts, and my heart's so loud, and where is he, he could be here, he could be here, he's here_

A hand touched me and I violently recoiled, crying out in fear.

_please please go away go away dont be real not real not real not real pain pain just pain never ending pain pain pain pain it hurts there's only pain_

I stared up at Loki and his green eyes were watching me warily, his hand fluttering by his side. When I whimpered, his frown deepened.

"Adelaide?" He asked.

"Endless oblivion, death is a kind maiden, taking the hand of lost souls and guiding them to the savior's light, taking them from the mouth of Hel, for he who sleeps in the lion's den is surely mad, and knows not the danger that lurks there, unless of course the danger is there, and has already stolen the man's light, and the man can do naught but pray for death, and the danger laughs and continues to steal the man's light, and in the interest of danger, stealing light is the most fun, and stealing souls is synonymous with dark, and danger and dark are partner's, forever stealing light and souls from the kind maiden death, even as the men pray and beg, it is but song to the darkest danger," I babbled, staring at him with wide eyes.

Agony's grating cackle started to reverberate in my head and I jumped up and started to pace, gripping my skull with shaking hands.

"Unless, of course, danger and dark are the man, and there is no light, and danger and dark pounce on different men, bending their backs and tearing their hair, and the mad laugh of danger and dark are all the man hear, and the killing blow never comes, because danger and dark do not know mercy, but they do know torture, and that is the purpose of danger and dark, endless pain, they feast on the screams and the flesh of men, and death is held back by danger and dark, even if danger and dark is the last the men see before death,"

Loki's eyes were wide as he took in my wild pacing and hysterical bouts of madness.

"Adelaide, what happened? You have me concerned. Tell me at once,"

I continued to pace, ignoring him and focusing only on the barrage of frenzied thoughts whirring in my brain.

"Agony, Agony, how clever, for that is all he does and all he brings, pain without end, and that is all you feel, agony, how clever,"

Loki grabbed me by my upper arms and pulled me to a stop, as a deranged laugh bubbled out of my chest.

"You will tell me what has you so skittish right now," Loki demanded, and all my frenetic thoughts stumbled to a halt, and the panic took over my body again. I whimpered.

"He's back, he's back, and he's come for me, and I can't protect my people, my kingdom, and he's going to kill everyone,"

"Who, Adelaide? Tell me who,"

I wailed, falling out of Loki's hands and crumpling to the floor.

"Agony, he's come back, and he's going to destroy everything, and it's my fault," I squeezed out, as my heart accelerated.

Loki crouched down to my level and place his hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him.

"Who is he? Who is Agony?" Loki asked, probing deeply with his eyes, as if he could see the answer there.

"The sorcerer. He cast the spell, he cursed the Queen. He is the cause of Banshee," I was dimly aware of my fast breathing, the little noises of distress leaving my mouth, barely distinguishable among the harsh rush of air.

"Adelaide, you must calm down, you're hyperventilating,"

I nodded and stared into his eyes, the only thing anchoring my mind as my body spun out of control. Loki pulled me into an embrace and I clung to him. He pushed my head against his chest and started to rub my back.

"Focus on my breathing, try to match it, listen to my heart," He ordered, and I did.

I placed my hands on his chest to get a better grasp on the intermittent whoosh of air in his lungs, and my own breathing stuttered as I forced my lungs to slow, and match his. The steady thump of his heart, combined with his familiar scent, calmed me, and the panic gradually seeped out of me, making me want to do nothing but curl up on Loki's lap and sleep. I nuzzled my head further into his chest, placing my ear over his heart. I was to close to make out any details in his tunic, just a blurry expanse of green, so I closed my eyes.

"Are you calm enough to extract yourself?" Loki asked.

I blinked, and became embarrassed at my output of emotion and weakness.

"Yes," I sniffed, pulling myself away.

I smoothed out my dress, and Loki shifted into a sitting position, when I did. After a few moments I looked at him, and a brow was raised, waiting for me to explain, staring at me with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. I pulled in a deep breath and began to speak.

"As you know from earlier, Agony is the name of the sorcerer that cursed my bloodline with Banshee. I was so angry, so miserable, so hateful, so I decided to hunt him down, and force him to reverse the curse. After which, I would kill him. Then I would return to my family pure, untainted, not a monster, and they would accept me," I told him quietly. Loki regarded me with interest as I chuckled ruefully.

"That did not go as planned. When I found him, I was woefully inadequate compared to his soldiers. I was overtaken quickly, and led to his dungeon. He was enraged, he hated me. I was a reminder of his failure, his weakness. How pathetic was he, that a mortal queen so easily bested him? Agony was determined to remedy his spell. He concocted a plan, and explained it to me in great detail. He would torture me, bring me such pain and anger that his spell would finally succeed, and Banshee would overtake me, then he would set me on Enduran," I paused and looked at Loki. His eyes held a certain amount of curiosity, and I turned my gaze to my lap, where my hands fumbled with each other.

"He was not exaggerating. As much as I hated my family, my mother and father, that insipid servant girl, I couldn't hurt the kingdom. I was in his dungeons for three months. For three months I was subject to his hate, his cruelty, his unyielding brutality. When he was finished with one method of torture, he would heal me, then begin another. I was brought to the brink of death so many times, Hel and I had become friends by the time I escaped. For the longest time, I believed there was no escape. I was not fed for the duration of my capture, so I was considerably weak, and paired with the torture, my body was not at it's peak of health. One morning, after I had been left to heal enough to survive the next bout of torture, I made I choice. I was going to escape, or die trying," I paused as a wave of that crippling horror I had lived with for three months assaulted me, and I met Loki's gaze. He was looking at me with a mixture of horror, and understanding? I decided to leave that question for later.

"I felt so weak, so utterly helpless, and I was so angry. Unbelievably outraged. How dare he strike me? How dare he land a hand upon me, of royal blood? How dare he have the gall to threaten me?" The anger came back, and my voice got louder.

"So I gave in. I let Banshee out. He was pleased, for the most part. I flew into rage, struggling against my bonds and spitting promises of death at him. He kissed me, said we could be lovers after I destroyed the kingdom," At this, I saw Loki stiffen.

"When he was thoroughly convinced of my impersonation of Banshee, he released me from my bonds, only to put another spell over me, one that didn't work, unfortunately for him. He thought he had put a damper on Banshee's rage, and he would have, had she fully been there. I tricked him long enough for him to turn his back, and when he did, I snuck away. Like a coward, like a fool. I stayed in the surrounding forest for days, slowly regaining my health, my magic. I stumbled home and tried to warn the King and Queen. My disappearance was quickly made noticeable, and Agony was set off in rage, again. His army stormed the palace, and he killed my mother, my father. Everyone. My parents, the stupid dolts, locked me and that servant girl away, under the palace in a secret room, so he couldn't find us," I focused on Loki again, my gaze becoming far away as I had recalled the past events.

"All I could here in that concrete room was the echoing screams of pain," I said quietly, gazing far off again.

"And he's back?" Loki asked.

I sighed, getting agitated as the panic started to rise again. 

"Yes,"

"We know that he is a powerful sorcerer, and he has a strong army, correct?" Loki stated.

The panic came back full-force, along with that damned sense of helplessness.

"That is something we are sure of, yes," I agreed.

"What will you do?"

I stood and made my way to the window, seeing the faint outline of cities past the garden. If Agony took vengeance upon the cities, I knew, with undoubtable certainty, that no one would be allowed to survive.

"I don't know, Loki. I don't know,"

 


	18. Subtle Confessions of Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War, Sacrifice, Friendship, Love.
> 
> I'm sure you've heard of this before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this latest installment, let's play...
> 
> Find That Slightly Changed Avenger's Quote!

Later that day, I stalked into the Council Room, keeping my steps regal and sure. I could see the TriWarriors hunched over a map, speaking with a few Council members. The rest were off in other corners of the room, speaking with each other over diagrams and spread out parchments.

"Ah, My Queen, you have arrived," said Bur, stepping away from the table to perform the Soldier's Bow, which consisted of two feet tightly squeezed together, while a hand was placed over the heart as one was tucked behind the back. Pox and Sidi followed, bowing to me, then straightening.

"Indeed, I have," I said, looking around the room before turning back to Bur.

Bur motioned for me to stand next to him as he moved aside to allow me view of the map. We sat in silence as I overlooked the slightly worn paper, now littered with lines of ink and little wooden figurines designed to bear resemblance to our armies, and the enemy. I looked to Bur, raising an eyebrow and tilting my head at the map slightly. He picked up on my body language, and quickly launched into an explanation.

"The ships have stayed in their current position since the attack. We think they plan to  plunder the villages in their path as they make their way to the palace," as he spoke, Pox moved a wooden beast toward the drawn palace. "In our counterattack, we will send out our foot soldiers and cavalry to push them back, here," wooden soldiers and horses were moved to clash against the beast, pushing it back until it fell of the table, bouncing to a stop at my slippers. 

"These are not your average soldiers, we cannot rely on experience to guide us," I told the TriWarriors.

"We are aware, Your Highness, but experience is all we have," Sidi replied.

"Many will die," I whispered.

Bur straightened, placing his hands behind his back and bowing his head before murmuring, "Many are prepared to die,"

_No one is prepared to die._

I came to a sudden conclusion, and a disconcerting mixture of determination and dread filled me. I swallowed the ball of fear that seemed to materialize in my throat as I ended my epiphany.

"No," I said, and conversation ceased to exist in the gap that accompanied my voice, a grave silence that did nothing to help my uneasiness.

"Your Majesty?" Sidi asked, a slight crease in her forehead the only sign of her confusion.

"None will die," I said, forcing my voice to take on a queenly tone. "Save for me," 

Gasps echoed around the room, and several faces took on expressions of panic and confusion.

"Our armies will not be dispensed. Their only purpose is evacuating every village in Agony's path. I will go alone, and hopefully placate him. If he still craves vengeance, only then will our armies strength be needed,"

The silence came back, and with it awe and sympathy and concern. Even Bur's usually emotionless face held some semblance of shock. Pox stepped forward and bowed again.

"I cannot allow you to do this, Your Highness," he said.

"TriWarriors,  I cannot ask our soldiers to march to their suicide. Only my death, at Agony's hand, holds any hope for them, for the people, for Enduran," I replied, speaking to everyone now, although I addressed only the three.

Bur stood and held his ground, fixing his determined gaze on me.

"We will follow you into battle, and I know many of our men will, as well," He stated. "You will not be alone. It would be an honour to die at your side,"

I paused, the fear I had been feeling dampening at the show of loyalty and bravery. The TriWarriors stared back at me, and I looked to them. Pox, brash and strong. Bur, level-headed and quick. Sidi, determined and steady.

"Very well, TriWarriors. Your loyalty has never been in question," I told them, hoping they would see the thanks for what it was. By their small smiles, they did.

I turned to a few Council members. "Send envoys to ask the realms if they will house our people, we will go to war in seven days!" I ordered. "Quickly now!"

They rushed out of the room, and I turned back to the TriWarriors.

"Go, now, and ask our men if they would be willing to let me lead them to Agony," I said, noticing the double entendre only after I had voiced it. 

To the rest of the Council members, I merely nodded. They returned the implied order and went to work. This was not the first time we had been to battle. They knew what to do. Stocking and categorizing food, water, weapons, preparing the people and the palace for war.

With a tired sigh, I exited the room and began the journey to my chambers, mentally preparing a speech for Loki. On the way, I learned from a servant that Loki was in the library. I walked in through the emerald doors, smiling wryly when I saw Loki sitting in my chair, reading from my stack of books.

He looked up from his book and smiled cunningly. "My Queen, what a pleasure," 

I smirked in response, before remembering the grave topic I had intended to breach with him. "Come, Loki. We need to speak in private,"

His smile faded, to be replaced with a furrow in his brow. He set down the book and stood, following me in silence until I closed our chamber doors. I wandered to the window, and he recognized the move as a hesitation.

"Adelaide?" his deep voice questioned.

"Loki," I returned. "I will be leaving you in seven days, and I will not be returning,"

The furrow had never left, and deepened. "What do you mean? Explain,"

I fixed him with a stern look before elaborating. "I am going to fight Agony, and hopefully with my death, will come safety for the kingdom,"

Loki was shocked, it would appear, considering the widening of his eyes and slackness of his jaw. Then all was normal, except for the hard glint in his eyes. "No,"

It was my turn to be shocked. "No?" I parroted.

Loki nodded once, quickly. "No, I will not allow this. You will not give yourself to him,"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Loki, this is not a choice, this is a necessity,"

"No. This will not happen, he will kill you,"

"Yes, Loki. That is the plan,"

Loki's nostrils flared. "Will your soldiers not defend your kingdom?"

I sighed, fearing for the few that would be accompanying the TriWarriors and I. "Agony's Army will kill them all. It is not power he craves, but vengeance upon me,"

"And he will take it, do you not remember the torture he inflicted on you?"

I winced. "Yes, of course. All I can do is but hope he will take too much pride in killing me in battle,"

Loki loped over to me and crossed his arms. "Give me my magic, I can defend better than any amount of your mortal soldiers,"

"Loki, you know I cannot do that," I replied, rolling my eyes.

Loki angrily waved his hands. "Why not? I have proved myself to be trustworthy,"

"I wish you had proved yourself to be trustworthy," I retorted. And it was true. I had heard of Loki's talent, and if he was by my side I knew my odds would be much better, if not my confidence and peace of mind.

"What can I do!" Loki snapped. 

"Y-

"What if it was me? What if I wanted to skip into Agony's arms and be tortured and killed? Would you stand here and do nothing?" he screamed.

His emerald eyes were wide, and angry. I looked down as unwanted pictures flashed through my head. Loki forced to eat his own flesh, Loki screaming in pain when he was shot with poisonous arrows, Loki hung up by hooks in his flesh and whipped.

"I would destroy anyone who would hurt you, but you must stay here," I said quietly, at last looking into his eyes.

"I will not! You will give me my magic, now!" He ordered.

"No!" I snapped. "Agony will kill you, and then whatever he does with me matters not, for the real torture would have already begun!"

Loki's eyes lost their angry edge, and softened a fraction.

"Adelaide, think of your people, what will they do without their Queen?"

"Anna still lives. As a member of the royal family, she is still in line for the throne. Should I die, the Council will reign until she has been properly trained and educated. Then she would be crowned Queen, and rule the kingdom,"

Loki place a hand under my chin and tilted my head to meet his gaze. "And what will become of me?"

I sighed, and took my jaw out of his hand, walking towards the window. "I know not. You will most likely return to Asgard, to be given a new punishment,"

Loki followed me and stood by my side at the window, turning to face me. "You and I both know that with me by your side, you and your kingdom have an increased chance of survival,"

I glanced at him, taking in the determined and resolute gleam in his eyes, evident in his posture, stating in every way possible that he was royal, from the stiffness of his back, to the tilt of his chin, to his hands elegantly clasped behind his back.

"You have done terrible things, Loki. You betrayed Asgard, committed genocide on Jotunheim, attempted to take over Midgard, killing hundreds in the process, even if you were under the influence of the Tesseract," Loki's jaw was ticking, and the anger was back. "How do you expect me to trust you?" I whispered desperately.

Loki took a step around me, forcing me to back against the wall. "How can I prove myself to you?" he asked, cool breath fanning over me.

His proximity and wash of breath stole my words for a moment, so I swallowed before speaking. "That is not known to me, Loki, and I don't think it ever will be,"

He placed his hands on either side of my head, trapping me in the cage of his body. "What if I kissed you?" he whispered

I grabbed his forearms, meaning to pull them down, but he flexed and kept them strong. "You wouldn't let me kiss you, why should I let you kiss me?" I responded.

Loki stepped closer to me, pressing his body to mine, bending so his forearms were on either side of me, and my hands dropped to his chest. "That was a mistake," Loki admitted.

My breath caught in my throat. "Then why?" I asked, voice a little shaky.

He leaned in, so close his nose was a hairsbreadth away from mine. "I was denying myself my desires," He whispered, soft and husky.

Then he kissed me.

His lips were smooth and chilled, sliding against mine like a waltz. I slid my tongue along his closed lips, and parted my own. Loki's tongue swept into my mouth, and I pressed closer into him as languid heat rolled through my body. I flicked my tongue across his palette, smiling when he moaned, breathing his pleasure into my mouth. Loki tilted his head and deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth over mine. Warmth waved through me, turning my blood to electricity. I went to pull away for breath, but Loki caught my bottom lip with his teeth, and tugged it until he backed away as well. The sweet pain of his  bite combined with the searing pleasure of the kiss had little jolts of lust shooting to my hips.  We were both panting and Loki looked down at me with dark, hooded eyes. I nearly moaned at the sight.

"Was that reason enough?" He asked, deep voice deeper than usual.

"Reason for what?" I responded breathily, trying to calm my heart.

"Reason to trust me,"

I thought on it, putting on a poker face as I stared past him, at a knot in the wooden door.

_If he meant the kiss, then he has feelings for me, and truly does not want me to get hurt. I know that if I give him his magic, I can expect him to fight alongside me. If, however, the kiss was purpose for his manipulation, then the moment I restore his magic, he will leave, and I can expect the same thing of him if I had withheld it; nothing._

>   ** _No, we must trust him. We will join, and together we will destroy the one who has hurt us, threatened us, our home, our mate! As one, we will kill the tormentor, and he will beg for mercy at our feet._**
> 
>  

"Adelaide?" Loki asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I stayed silent a beat longer, checking myself to make sure my choice seemed solid.

"I trust you," I said.

Loki's lips stretched into a grin, and his eyes brightened. "Marvelous choice," he said gleefully. "Now take this off," 

Loki moved his hands to indicate the collar he still wore, and I paused for a moment. Loki tugged impatiently at it until I moved his hands from the collar, running my fingers fondly over the golden lettering, before I unclasped it, throwing it on my desk.

I walked over to a fur rug, the  plush cream of a polar bear, taken from Midgard. I moved it aside, and set my hand upon the wall, watching as a golden glow surrounded the fingers and palm. Warmth, and a strange tingle enveloped my hand. A small square of wall slowly disintegrated, leaving my hand suspended in air. I reached into the empty space, shivering slightly as I felt around the, literally,  _empty space,_ and I ignored the horrible feeling. My hand felt...odd...to say the least. Light and heavy and warm and cold and numb and sensitive. I tried to give my hand orders to move, and the magic in the space felt me calling, and materialized the vial into my hand. My fingers were clumsy as I clenched them around the vial, and -not for the first time- I wondered if I really was holding it, or feeling phantom sensations, but when I pulled my hand out again, I saw the glass vial. The green smoke churned restlessly as I watched the wall become a wall again, and let the rug fall to hide the spot.

It had been created by a sorcerer, more powerful than me, of course. It was magicked to open to only Coran and I, but whereas I could take and leave things, Coran could only leave.

"Are you prepared, Loki?" I asked, noticing the way he spread his legs and squared his shoulders, bracing himself.

"Yes," He responded, nodding at me once.

I wondered. "Will there be pain?" 

"Yes," Loki answered, and with one more confident nod from Loki I placed a hand on the intricate lid, flipped a few latches, and uncorked the vial.

The smoke billowed out, forming a cloud above me, before stirring and seeming to face Loki. He once more braced himself, and I barely caught the look of grim anticipation before the smoke lunged at him, surrounding him in a green haze. His short cry of pain reached my ears and I stepped forward hesitantly. At last, the smoke seemed to fade, and I could see him. The last wisps were flowing into him, soaking through his clothes and skin. I could see Loki's eyes fluttering and then he collapsed, falling to one knee and panting.

"Loki!" I cried, running to him. I placed a hand on his shoulder and arm, helping him to stand. His chest was heaving and his cheeks were flushed, his eyes narrowed in pain. "Are you alright?"

Loki lifted his head, rooting me in place with glittering emerald eyes. "I'm fine, woman, now let me up," 

I blinked, and released him like he was on fire, much like how my cheeks felt at the moment, burning with my embarrassment.

"Many thanks, Adelaide," Loki said, standing up and adjusting his clothes. He winked at me, lips stretched into an amused smile, before disappearing.

Oh.

_Oh._

"Dammit!" I shouted, cursing myself for trusting that conniving snake. "Loki!"


	19. Emotional Rollercoasters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter, just building up Loki's and Adelaide's relationship and slowly moving the impending death train coming at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this chapter seems a little fast-paced.

I took to pacing, scolding myself for being so naive. _Of course. I should have known. Why would he risk his life for me? He's a god, for Norn's sake._ My footsteps set a staccato rhythm to my anger, and I clenched my fists as my sides, dramatically swishing the skirt of my dress every time I turned, raking my fingers across to relieve tension.

I was so caught up in thought, furiously crossing the room and cursing myself, that when a flash of green light burst into my chambers, I may or may not have squealed and jumped like a frightened rabbit. The light faded with a shimmer, leaving Loki standing alone.

"Loki?" I asked, voice tentative and unsure, not really believing what I saw.

"The one and only," he replied, stepping towards me with amused eyes.

I took a deep breath, and released it slowly. I so relieved my shoulders slumped. "For a few moments, I thought you had left me," I murmured.

Loki continued to walk forward, stopping to lay his hands on my shoulders.  "Have you so little faith in me?" he chided gently, head tilted slightly.

I smiled guiltily, and looked for an answer, and finding none, I merely shrugged my shoulders.

"I merely had to return to Asgard to retrieve my armour,"

I looked at him quizzically. He was still dressed in the clothes he had picked this morning, a green and gold silk shirt, tucked into green breeches. 

"Pocket in space," Loki explained, making a motion with his hands. A green spark flashed, and a sudden dark hole was opened by his elegant hands. He reached into the hole with, retrieving a pile of green cloth, black leather, and gold metal. He reached in again and grabbed a golden, horned helm.

"I wish I had that skill," I sighed, watching him longingly.

Loki moved to set his pile on the bed, with me following him. "You don't?" he questioned nonchalantly, looking over his shoulder slightly.

I scoffed. "Do not act like you didn't know. You already told me you read my notes,"

He gave me a wry smile. "How could I not? The way you write intrigues me,"

"How so?"

Loki looked contemplative for a moment. "Each thought is deliberate, purposeful. So organized, yet deep in emotion and content," he met my gaze. "I could feel the barely concealed frustration coming off the pages,"

I glowered, then shrugged. There was no denying the truth. I did get frustrated. Whenever I had opened a pocket, all was well, save for an uncomfortable pressure mid-back. I would survive. But whenever I went to open the pocket, it was never the right one. I would lose the object, and would never find it. Like trying to find someone in a room, but the doors kept changing. Hence the frustration.

"I'll get a proper armour rack for you," I said, finally taking note of what he brought.

Loki nodded absently, still fiddling with his pile of armour, and I slipped into the hallway, stopping a servant. When I had finished with the servinggirl, I had seen Coran coming down the hall. He quickened his steps until he reached me, notifying me of the start of dinner. I thanked him and stepped back into the room, seeing Loki gazing out the window.

 "Come, it is time for dinner," I told him. "The servants will take care of your armour,"

Loki nodded once and followed me as we left the room. We walked in companionable silence until I decided to break it.

"I apologize, Loki," 

He quirked a brow and looked down at me.  "For what?"

I swallowed and looked down, watching my walking feet, before meeting his gaze again. "I have said cruel things to you, that were born of anger and juvenile petulance, and I apologize," 

Loki and I continued to walk down the hallways, as I watched him nervously, and his face gave nothing. Finally, he looked at me.

"I accept your apology, and in return, I apologize as well. Both of our words were cruel, and meant to hurt," he murmured.

I felt my eyebrow raise in surprise, before I masked it. I nodded once and looked ahead, sighing as we neared the dining hall. I was ravenous. I walked in, forcing a smile to accompany the usual cheers and happy greetings. I made my way to my seat. Loki made to sit on his cushions but I stopped him, and motioned for him to sit on my right. His eyebrows shot up, and he stilled, before sitting down, giving me a soft smile. I looked to my left, ignoring the inquisitive expressions on the TriWarriors faces.

"Have you any news?" I asked them. Bur cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Aye," he answered. "Our soldiers will not let you enter this battle alone, and all have sworn to fight alongside you,"

"We would follow you anywhere, My Queen," Sidi added.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit my lip. "Thank you my friends," I said softly. "Tomorrow, I will go to the camps and speak to them,"

The TriWarriors showed their understanding, and eventually the topic of conversation turned to more pleasant things. Pox charmed the table by regaling some of our adventures, before taking off with some swooning maidens. Bur danced with a pretty woman with blonde hair, and I took mild amusement in watching Sidi drag some man to the dance floor in return. They stewed in their shared jealousy, and I wondered again why they didn't just court each other. 

"Adelaide,"

"Yes?" I asked, turning to Loki.

He moved the food around on his plate before looking up. "Why am I sitting here?"

I smirked, and decided to toy with him. "Because it it custom to sit when you eat,"

Loki rolled his eyes, before glowering at me. "Why am I sitting in a chair, was my meaning,"

"You are now my ally, and as such, you are deserving of a place at the table, and as Guest of Honour,"

"Guest of Honour?" Loki questioned.

"Yes, you are a Prince, and of Asgard," I explained. "As if that isn't reason enough,"

"What more reason could there be?"

I took a drink of wine and turned back to him. "You were sent here to be degraded, as my pet. And I have treated you as such, yet you still opted to aid me, and you have trusted me. Your actions earned you my respect, and a seat at my right hand, as a Guest of Honour,"

Loki masked his surprise and studied me. I met his gaze calmly. Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it, for he simply nodded and looked away. I turned back to the dancers, becoming mesmerized by the slow song, and the flashes of mixed colours, the dancers spinning, elated laughs and amorous smiles hanging in the air above them.

"Loki, will you dance with me?" I asked, and I had to ignore the impulse to clap my hand over my mouth. I went for spontaneity and flashed him a crooked smile.

He chuckled ruefully. "I apologize, My Queen, but I must decline the offer, I don't dance," 

I snorted sarcastically. "Come now, don't be modest," I quirked a brow and leant forward. "Unless you're not up for the challenge?"

Loki looked up, smirking. "Trying to appeal to my nature?"

A thought came to mind and I inwardly snickered, but I pouted my lips and lowered my eyes, pointing my chin to my chest looking up at Loki through my lashes.

"If I was trying to appeal to your nature, I would be kneeling," I purred, taking a gamble. "My King,"

I congratulated myself as Loki's eyes got dark, and he swallowed hard, before he donned a wicked smile. He licked his lips slowly, and my eyes tracked the movement.

"Why don't you then?" Loki asked. "Appeal to my nature?"

I smiled crookedly. "Cos I'd rather dance," 

His moment of confusion gave me time to grab his hand and pull him out of his seat, leaving him muttering indignantly as I pulled him along.

"Adelaide, no," Loki hissed, looking around furtively.

"Loki, yes," I replied, as I found us a place on the dancefloor. People immediately made room, bowing and curtsying their way around us.

A slow, lilting melody was playing, weaving through the air. Molasses-like notes sank under high fluttering music, moving the dancers into a sweet, sultry mood. Loki moved first, placing a hand on my hip, and I moved second, positioning a hand on his shoulder while I placed my hand in his. His fingers wrapped around mine, pleasantly cool. We started a simple three-step, and for some reason I found myself unable to look Loki in the face. Instead, I focused on the stitching on his shoulder. Finally, I worked up the courage to look at him. Loki was staring down at me, eyes like two pools of melted emerald, gold flecks peeking from beneath the green.

"You truly are simply exquisite," Loki said quietly, a wondrous smile gently tugging his lips up. I sucked in a breath, and my tongue felt heavy, so I settled for a demure smile, feeling my cheeks heat.

He spun me out, and I twirled around, until he pulled me in again, my back against his chest. We swayed for a few beats, and I reveled in the contact. He spun me again, pulling me back into our original position, and I was locked in his gaze again. The intimacy of the moment made it hard to swallow, and Loki watched me with those enchanting eyes, watching every emotion flit across my face.

We had touched before, even cuddled in bed. Though that was during night, during the dark, and therefore easy to overlook in the daylight. But now, with him looking down at me, and the soft music dancing through the air, our breath mingling between us, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. We stepped closer to each other, and he pulled our hands to his chest, over his heart.Loki's body slowly accepted my heat, until there was a cozy warmth we shared, then he bent his head until our foreheads touched. Anticipation flared to life in my chest, and my heart started to beat quicker. I stayed completely still, and slid my eyes shut. Loki brushed the tip of nose against mine, just barely moving his lips over mine. My body was taught, and I started to tremble. At last, he kissed me. Gentle, supple, the softest touch, a kiss between lovers. A sweet warmth waved through me, and I shuddered. When we parted, Loki smiled easily at me, and I returned it, before I laid my head on his shoulder. We relaxed in each other's arms, softly swaying to the dying music.

The song ended, and we slowly pulled away from each other. When we did, the surrounding nobles erupted into cheers, clapping joyfully. I laughed and pulled Loki away from the dancefloor, both of of chuckling as we rejoined the table. The rest of the night was a quiet affair, pleasant small talk circling around, secret smiles and playful winks garnering pleased expressions. Dinner ended with kissed hands and muted goodbyes. 

Later that night, when Loki and I had settled down for bed, after the sun had set, the stars twinkling like holes poked in a black canvas, I had gotten up and wandered to the balcony, leaving Loki sleeping soundly . Enduran stretched out around me, the street lights and lanterns spilling soft orbs of orange and yellow onto the streets. Enduran's fourth moon lazily sat in the sky above me, blanketing the cities in a cool wash of light. I craned my head, looking for the rest of them, counting them under my breath, as they surrounded the realm like a compass rose. In the distance, I could see the snow-tipped mountains and neighboring forests. The raw beauty, the unyielding wildness of the sight never failed to take my breath away. Then the floor came out from under me, and my heart stopped as I came to a sickening revelation.  ~~ **  
**~~

 I would never see this again, should Agony kill me, and I knew he would. But, I wasn't ready to die. I wasn't ready to leave this behind. 

My eyes started to water as I realised that I would never see any of this again, I would never feel the gentle caress of Enduran's soft winds, never scent the sweet smell of water that seemed to linger in the air, never walk the paths into the hidden parts of the forests, never swim in the hot springs, never smell my mother's perfume when I lounged in the gardens. So many memories, so many experiences, so many people, so many wonderful, breathtaking things I would never do again. I clutched a hand to my chest and attempted to regain control as the world spun and stars collided.

"Adelaide?" Loki's sleepy voice called out. "What are you doing? Come back to bed,"

"Coming, dear," I replied, slightly shaky. 

Loki must have noticed the tremor, for when I climbed under the furs and sheets, he turned on his side and lifted his arm. I snuggled into his chest, worming my body into all the cracks of his. He rubbed my back until my breathing calmed, and then he too relaxed. But nothing, even my nose pushing into Loki's collarbone, his body wrapped protectively around mine, could banish that thought.

I wasn't ready to die.

 

 


	20. Just A Smidge of Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adelaide visits the army and gets tangled up with Loki.  
> (no shenanigans yet, sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did math for you guys. Feel special. Very, very, special.
> 
> In the flashback, Addie is 493. Human equivalent of 8. She's now 996. Human Equivalent of mid-16's.  
> Her dad is 1,726. Human equivalent of 28.
> 
> Credit to tumblr users mudokun and varaesque for this math.
> 
> Loki is 1,048.   
> 17 in human years.
> 
> Thor is 1058-1200.  
> 18-21 in human years. 
> 
> For the logic, and Sif and the Warrior's Three's ages you can go here.
> 
> fyeahlokisif.tumblr.com/post/70613451787/lokis-age-is-1048-years-old

I watched the ground as I walked, the compacted dirt and sparse, crushed grass. My feet fell into several boot prints and I laughed quietly to myself when I saw how small my feet looked by comparison. I composed myself as I neared the end of the path that led to the army camps and barracks. The TriWarriors stood in front of rows and rows...and rows and rows of soldiers. Enduran's large army.

Every. Single. Soldier.

I found myself cringing with every harsh thump of my feet. They were so silent. Slightly intimidating. I used every bit of my 986 years of life experience to appear solid, and sure. Sidi stepped forward and leaned into my ear.

"I know they appear a bit...rough...but they will listen," she whispered. "But we all trust in you, I believe you can do this,"

She leaned back and I smiled tightly. Sidi could always see right through me. I stepped atop the podium, taking several calming breaths. The warriors shifted, molding their rows into a circle, surrounding me. The occasional clank of armour and creak of leather sounded like a thunderclap in the silence.

I lived in silence. In solitude. In my silence I was free to think, to be. Other people seemed to feel the need to fill the silence, to outrun the isolation. I didn't. In my hushed seclusion, I felt safe. Secure. I could hypothesize and theorize when I needed to, delve deeply into books and tomes without the glance of others. Philosophical thoughts came to me with the ease of a child returning to it's mother. Sometimes, I just needed to  _know._ It was so much easier, so much more comfortable to  _know_ when I was wrapped in a soft blanket of withdrawal. When other's were there, encroaching on my reclusion, I could feel it, in every fibre of my being. Their presence sat like a heavy stone between my shoulders. Thier gaze burned through me, and every breath, every movement sent out a wave that crashed through me. I could just  _feel_   the disruption, the discord in my sanctuary. 

Like now, but _I_   was the disruption. That inexplicable sense of 'I don't belong here' hit hard, all my instincts screaming at me to run. The weight between my shoulders had increased. No longer a stone, but a bent man, hoisting the body of his fallen comrade over his shoulder, heaving laboured breaths as he forgot his own pain, running his friend off the battlefield, taking care not to jostle them. I sucked in more breaths, and slipped into my queenly persona.

"Warriors," I said, the three syllables ringing out across the rows of men and women. I used my magic to carry it. I turned as I talked, meeting their eyes.

"I will not disrespect you with half-truths and pretty lies. The enemy we face is formidable. He has strong armed forces, and he is a strong sorcerer. Many will die, but I am confident we will decrease their numbers as well. Agony is here because of me. If you see he and I fighting, do not aid me. When and if I should die, it was meant to be. If my death does not pacify him, then the people must be evacuated. I trust in you to protect them. If instead, Agony should capture me, do not send out any rescue parties.

"I know you have families. Wives, husbands, children. But what you have to know, is that there is no nobler army than you. If you do not wish to fight, you will not be judged, but as I look out across these rows, I can see your dedication, your honour. Your loyalty and bravery have never been in question, and certainly not now. Your self-sacrafice astounds me. Centuries from now, the tale of your valor will ring in every heart. The heroism of Enduran's army, the might with which they took down Agony's Army! I will forever be bound to you,"

I stepped off the podium, and kicked it aside. "Warriors, defenders, protectors. Enduran bows her head to you, and as her Queen, I will follow in her steps,"

I took off my tiara, glancing at it for a moment before dropping it. The metallic clang sounded throughout the camp. Several pairs of eyes flitted between the tiara and I, confused. I ignored the cold ground, my ridiculously fine dress, and knelt slowly, tucking my right leg under me. I fisted my hands, and leant forward until they were pressed to the hard ground, bowing my head. The silence after I had dropped was worse, was deafening. Several long seconds passed. Then, as one, I heard the concussive thump of thousands dropping to their knees. I opened my eyes and lifted my head. The rows upon rows of men and women all knelt. There was no sound, no whisper of movement, no glance towards others. Sudden emotion gathered in my throat as I looked out on the soldiers. They had dreams, people they loved, memories to make, lives to live. Lives that would be taken from them. I walked to a soldier straight ahead. When I reached him, I bowed again. He lifted his head, and I saw his eyes were a striking blue. I grabbed his head and leaned his forehead against mine, a show of commarderie. I rotated slowly, lifting the head of a woman with freckles across her cheeks, moving to a woman with grey eyes. A man had a scar running down his cheek. Next to him, a man had dark, olive skin.

And so I moved, lifting the heads of the inner circle, trying to commit their faces to memory. When I had completed the circle, I rested my hands on two warriors shoulders.

"Rise," I stated.  I stepped back to the center as they did. The silence had changed. No longer heavy, or dense, but filled with grim determination. I forgot about the dirty knees of my dress and stepped to the TriWarriors. I gathered Pox close, touching our foreheads. Bur was next. Sidi held me close, her eyes gleaming with pride. I walked back to the the circle, picking up my tiara. There was no applause, no cheers. The occasion did not call for it. The warriors looked on somberly as nodded in respect and turned, leaving the silent warriors and quietly walking the path back to the palace. 

_I wonder if Father would be proud._

It was a sad thought, but I couldn't get angry with myself when I hoped he would be.

 

_"How will I do it, Poppa?"_

_Poppa turned, squinting at me with the same light brown eyes I had. He gathered me into his lap, and I snuggled into his chest._

_"How will you do what, my sweet?"  Poppa asked._

_I grabbed his fingers, and he let me play with them. "How will I be Queen? The people only see me as a little girl,"_

_Poppa chuckled then, and I pouted up at him, which only made his laugh harder._

_"My sweet, you are a little girl,"_

_I scooted back and crossed my arms. "I am 493, Poppa. I'm not little,"_

_"Well, I'm 1,726, so I beat you," Poppa teased, scrunching his face at me and waggling his eyebrows._

_"Poppa!" I said, getting antsy._

_"What, Addie?"_

_"How will I do it? How can I be Queen?" I asked desponde_ _ntly._

_Poppa frowned. "What do you mean?"_

_I looked down. "I don't think I can do it," I admitted._

_Poppa lifted my head with his fingers. "Addie. Listen to me. You will do marvellous things with the kingdom. Do you want to know how I know?"_

_I looked at him with big, wide eyes and nodded hopefully._

_"You are so smart, and have such a big heart. The people already love you. When the time come, and you're crowned, you'll know what to do. There will never be a Queen as good, kind, or pretty than you," Poppa promised._

_"Do you really mean it?"_

_Poppa kissed the star on my headchain, which hung down to dangle on my forehead. "Yes, me sweet. And I always will,"_

_I sighed happily and cuddled into Poppa's chest, inhaling the smell that was always on him. Warm, summer air. Sun and citrus._

_"I love you so very much, Addie,"_

_"I love you too, Poppa,"_

* * *

 

The envoys came back with good, and bad news. The realms would house our people, but Vanaheim, the South Vanir, and Asgard were in the middle of a  civil war. The South Vanir had disagreed on some social norms, and had launched a coup against the North Vanir. Asgard had sent troops to aid Vanaheim, but the South Vanir had held their own. I just had to hope my people would be safe in Vanaheim.

The soldiers of Enduran had begun to train and spar in their camps, so the TriWarriors, Loki, and I had decided to follow their lead. Pox chopped his battle axe, each blade double-edged. Bur swung his club, spiked with wicked knives. Sidi swiped with her swallow, each end having a sharp and jagged blade. I cut with my sickles, short enough to be held like swords and matte black.

Most of all, though, I liked to watch Loki train. He moved like a dancer, cut through the air like water. Each movement was as effortless and deliberate as turning a page in a book. He spun and twisted as smoothly as the snake which symbolized him, sinuous and slippery. He was so efficient with his magic-which was amazing- as well as the knives he had, so like my own. Not to mention that the raw power he exhibited, the look of complete focus and fury he had made my thighs feel tingly and warm. One day, Pox pulled me aside.

"My Queen, I must speak with you, but I fear I might offend," he said. Of course, his loud voice carried across the room. Sid, Bur, and Loki all looked up.

I walked us farther away, but Loki still watched. I could see the green of his eyes even from that distance.

"What is it, Pox?" I asked.

He gave me a contemplating look. "You have not practiced with Banshee,"

I froze. He was right, of course. Banshee was an extension of me. Just like any muscle, I had to train her, let her stretch so we worked better together, on a level of sychonity. Even though I had pulled Pox further away, his voice still reached the ears of the others. They watched me with interest as I walked back to the mats. I shifted uncomfortably, unsure. Bur picked up on my demeanor and flashed me a small smile, before turning to watch himself in the mirror, swinging his club. Sidi followed Bur's lead, stretching as she twirled her swallow. Pox and Loki moved next, but I could still feel all their eyes looking through their reflections.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, slowly reaching inside myself to feel Banshee. Her voice was in my head, but I could feel her in my chest, next to my heart. If I focused enough, I could discern her magic from my own. Both warm and pliable, but on different wavelengths. She leaked slowly into me, the warmth of her magic slowly filling my muscles, boosting the strength and energy I already had. Through my closed eyes I could see the faint glow of gold my skin gave off. A painful tugging on my scalp had my opening my eyes and I quickly undid the braid in my hair. I sighed in relief as my hair separated and started to float next to my head. Fortunately, it never undulated in front of my face, always staying behind my forehead. I looked in the mirror, still getting slight goosebumps as I took in the changes. I walked to the mirrors and picked up sickles, going through a few warm-ups. Then I moved into a complicated routines, hacking at imaginary foes. I knew I had skill, but with Banshee it increased tenfold. It was like working out after waking up late and hungover versus working out after being rested and drinking water. I jumped higher, moved quicker, endured longer. The slow burn I would usually feel in my thighs and arms weren't there, but I knew they would make themselves known later that day. I finished a series and stepped back from the mirror, taking a sip of water. I stopped to watch Loki, transfixed again by the ease and elegance with which he moved. His eyes caught mine through his reflection. 

"You leave your right side open," he said candidly.

I started, not expecting anyone to speak. "I leave what open?" I asked, flinching when it I heard how sultry Banshee made it sound. Low, rumbly. Entirely too sensual for this atmosphere.

"Your right side," Loki said, turning to face me with a slight smirk. "You leave it open,"

I placed my hands on my hip and raised and eyebrow. "Show me, then,"

Loki's smirk became more pronounced as he led me to the center of the mats. He turned to face me, and dropped into a defensive position. "Attack me," he stated.

I smirked back and raised my eyebrows, looking to where the TriWarriors had gathered, smelling the fight. Pox raised a challenging eyebrow and I looked back to Loki, in time to see his haughty smile. I dropped into a crouch similar to his, and we began to circle each other. Loki made the first move, kicking his leg out to catch mine, but I jumped, and used my momentum to tackle him. We both fought for control, striking out with fast fists and blocking with our forearms. He got my right side a few times, before I caught on and began to duck and dodge effectively. On one of his assaults, I tripped him, but he pulled me down with him. We rolled for a bit, both grappling for the upper hand. When we ended up facing each other on our sides, I managed to pin Loki's left arm behind his back, having to push my face into his neck to reach. His right arm was pinned under his body but he tangled his legs in mine. I tried to roll on top of him, a painful creak in my left knee and ankle made stopping. I felt his right hand start to slip out, so I lifted my hip and pinned his hand with it. We both wiggled about for a few moments after we both stilled. I heard Pox burst into laughter, and even though I couldn't see him, I knew him well enough to picture his head thrown back, leaning melodramatically on Bur. Soon, all five of us were laughing, Loki's chest and mine bumping together. I felt Loki's cool breath waft over my ear before his smooth voice sounded.

"What do you say we call this a draw, love?" 

I dissolved into a puddle of giddy teenage excitement.  _He called me 'love'!_ My heart fluttered wildly, but I was determined to get a better reaction out of him. I dipped into Banshee, letting her voice rumble out, making every word sound like an erotic promise.

"We could, unless you're up for round two," I purred, flicking my tongue out to lick the shell of his ear. Loki shuddered against me and I felt his heart kick. I chuckled lowly, pulling back to let it ghost over his neck. He let me extract my legs, and I rubbed my thigh over his, feeling his hand flex under my hip. I released his arm, getting up slowly and offering him a hand. His eyes were dark, and he had an equally dark quirk to his lips. The TriWarriors were clapping as we stood, and I offered a mock curtsy while Loki slightly bowed. Pox stepped forward a clapped a hand on Loki's shoulder. Loki stiffened and leaned away but stayed under Pox's hand.

"My good man, I have never seen anyone come so close to defeating our Queen! You truly are remarkable!" Pox said, looking to Sidi and Bur for confirmation. Loki looked confused for a few seconds, before shrugging slightly and offering a wary smile. Pox slung his arm over Loki's shoulders, having to reach up a little. They led the way out of the training room. Pox hung on Loki, regaling certain battles, comparing his performance with Loki's complimenting him. I laughed a little when I saw Bur give Sidi a pointed look and roll his eyes, shaking his head. Eventually, Pox clapped Loki on the back and dragged him into the line Bur and Sidi had made. I hung back and watched my four friends laughing together, feeling a rush of love. Loki looked back at me and tilted his head, before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the line. We walked that way to dinner, laughing and joking, and for the moment I forgot all about the oncoming tragedy.

 


	21. What Is That Smell? Maybe It's Love, IDK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler, but, BUT,
> 
> MAJOR CONFESSIONS.
> 
> MAJOR. MAJOR.
> 
> AHHHHHHHHHH.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *J'ai entendu dire que vous allez combattre Agonie. S'il vous plaît ne pas aller. Si vous alles et il vous tue, je ne sais pais ce que nous ferons! = I heard that you are going to fight Agony. Please don't go. If you go, and he kills you, I don't know what we'll do!
> 
> *Je ne sais pas ce que je ferai = I don't know what I'll do.
> 
> *Enfant, chut. Je serai bien. Ne vous inquiétez pas pour moi. Je reviendrai je vous le promets. = Child, shh. I will be alright. Do not worry for me. I will come back, I promise you.
> 
> *Vous promettez? = You promise?
> 
> *Je promets. = I promise.

I tried to be inconspicuous, I really did. I did my investigation at subtle times, like when we walked next to each other, or when he was asleep. It was aggravating. I even let Banshee out, hoping her superior sense of smell would help. But no matter what I did, I could not figure out what was off. I knew it was his smell though, and had been sneakily scenting him the past few days, trying to bring to light what was different. Today, he was drawing and let me look over his shoulder. Loki did well with pressure, let that be made known. I used this to aid me in my quest for an answer. I leaned over, shifting to 'get a better view'. He really was very talented, having drawn several pictures in his course of time here. Almost six months. He had drawn the garden, the stables, Sidi in the training room, (which I was  _not_ happy about), and the view from the balcony. I'm sure he had drawn other things, but that was all I'd seen. I hadn't seen the picture of Banshee again, and I wondered where he hid it. I studied the picture for a moment, recognizing the layout even though he was still adding details.

"Is this Asgard?" I asked. I knew it was though. Of course I knew. Enduran shared a border with Asgard.

Loki turned his head slightly to face me. "Yes,"

I noticed how close his lips were, but I had a goal in mind. I nodded absentmindedly and Loki picked up the pencil again, little scratches filling the room. I leaned closer to Loki's shoulder. Gently inhaling, using the pencil scratchings to cover the noise, I took his scent deep into my senses. I sifted through thoughts.  _Something is off. What is it? I can smell it, but it's just beyond my mind. What is it?_

"What are you doing?" 

I froze. Loki was looking curiously over his shoulder at me, his black hair tickling my cheek. "Nothing," I replied. "Please continue,"

Loki cocked a brow and turned slightly in his chair. "Were you...sniffing me?"

I straightened slowly, letting a confused and slightly offended expression come onto my face. "Sniffing you?" I blanched. "Of course not,"

Loki sat quietly and stared at me. The urge to fidget was growing. Then slowly, a smirk came onto his face. "You can't lie to the God of Lies,"

I said nothing, standing while he coolly assessed me. 

"Are you going to tell me why you were sniffing me?" He asked, grinning smugly.

"No,"

"Tell me, now," Loki ordered, sobering when he saw my expression. "Please,"

I didn't want to. It was obviously embarrassing, but I had made it a point to face embarrassing things head on. And I also really wanted to know what was off about him. I crossed my arms, a classic defensive position.

"You smell different, and I wanted to figure out why," I stated. I had smelled the soaps he had used, and none of them matched the change in his scent.

"I smell different?" Loki repeated, obviously amused.

I huffed. "Yes, you do,"

Loki crossed his arms too, albeit much more relaxed sprawled elegantly in the chair. "And...this bothers you?"

"Yes, it does,"

"Why?"

I huffed again, getting agitated. "Cos I want to know why, but I can't find anything to explain it," I stated.

Loki looked thoughtful for a moment. "How long have you been trying to figure out why my scent changed?"

"A few days have passed since I noticed a difference," I said airily.

He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his mouth quirked into a childish smile. "So, you've been secretly sniffing me for several days?"

I felt my blush. "Yes," I mumbled. "But I still can't find out what's changed,"

Loki pushed the chair back, and got to his feet, grinning at me. "Come figure out why, then," he replied.

I studied him for a moment. He was acting like he had won some game I hadn't known I was playing. Finally I gave up and approached him, because like I said, I really wanted to know. It was like smelling something, and trying to remember something you had eaten that smelled the same. It kept me awake at night, when he was right next to me. So close, but the answer was so far away.

I circled him slowly, sniffing gently. His scent wafted from him, the mint and pine and winter gently rolling off him. Then I caught it. That scent that I couldn't find a word for. I circled to his front and grabbed his shoulders, gently shaking him. I closed my eyes and let my other senses enhance. When I shook him, his scent came off stronger. I considered him with calculating eyes and grabbing the collar of his tunic, pulling him close. Burying my face in his neck, I inhaled deeply.  _What is it?_ I snaked a hand into his hair and tilted his head, giving me more access to his neck. I skimmed my nose up and down his throat, puffing little exhales on his skin as I worked. It was infuriating, like I had a film over my brain.  _Perhaps..._ I acted on instinct and licked his throat, dragging my tongue across his skin slowly. A tremor passed through Loki but I barely noticed it. The scent and taste of him were stronger, but what I needed was so close. On a hunch I took my head away from his neck and picked up his hand. His palm was large and I brought it to my nostrils, nuzzling my face into it. I had a deep need to solve this puzzle, but let it be said that I enjoyed hands. No real reason. His hands were nice, long fingers and a big palm, perfect for snuggling my face into. His hands were smooth, but he had slight calluses, probably from the training we were doing. I could imagine them roughly grasping my hips.  i followed Banshee's instincts and licked the pulse point of his wrist. I could feel the epiphany coming so I sucked on his skin, keeping the taste in my mouth to hurry my brain. Like the sun coming out from the clouds, I had my answer.  _Earth. Dirt. Trees. Moss. The forest, deep in the trails where everything is heavy and heady._ I took my mouth off his skin. "Conjure a flame," I ordered. Loki obeyed, the light and dark green fire dancing slightly before he snuffed it out. The smell came back stronger. I could still taste the mint, the snow and frost, but his magic had a smell too, like digging up the snow to find wet grass.

I gave his wrist one last lingering lick, proud and confident of my discovery. I stepped back. "It was your magic," I stated, stuttering slightly when I saw the hooded look Loki was giving me. He stepped towards me slowly, like a predator stalking prey.

"My magic, was it?" he said. 

I nodded. "Yes, your magic has a scent. Like wet earth,"

He stepped even closer to me, situating himself in my personal space. "Oh, really?  I wonder if yours has a scent," he said lightly, but I heard the dark undertones. His green eyes glittered as he leaned into me. I stayed absolutely still, breathing hitching when he placed one hand on my hip, the other cupping my neck. I felt Loki's hand flex on my hip as he tilted my head. I closed my eyes when I felt him blow on the exposed skin of my shoulder. He kissed the junction of my shoulder and neck softly, then brushed his lips up my neck to the soft skin behind my ear. He sifted a hand into my hair and tilted my head again, this time back. I shuddered as he peppered light kisses down my jaw, following his path back and down my neck again. He bit softly into the muscle of my shoulder, and I couldn't help but groan lightly, a throaty rumble that came from Banshee. He looked into my ears after I voiced my pleasure, and his eyes were dark, sinister,  _needy._  I leaned closer to him, pushing our chests together. I fisted my hands in his shirt, pulling him down to me. He didn't move as I kissed the corner of his mouth, dipping down to kiss under his jaw. I brushed my lips over his, the lightest touch.

**_knock knock knock_   
**

I let my head fall to his shoulder as Loki groaned in frustration and held me tighter. I stepped away from him regretfully and tried to put on a calm face, like I wasn't just involved in a very intimate and sultry moment with Loki. I opened the door to find Eden standing there, wringing her little hands. Loki sauntered up behind me, hidden by the door and my body. He brushed my hair away and started kissing my neck. I shivered and tried to compose myself.

"What is it?" I asked Eden.

Shifted on her feet. "Please don't go," she begged softly.

I frowned. "What do you mean, dear?"

She started crying, soft tears running down her cherub face. "*J'ai entendu dire que vous allez combattre Agonie. S'il vous plaît ne pas aller. Si vous alles et il vous tue, je ne sais pais ce que nous ferons!" She said despondently, slipping into our language in her distress. "*Je ne sais pas ce que je ferai," 

I knelt, away from Loki's teasing lips, my mood dropping instantly. I held her face in my hands and gently stroked her soft blonde hair. "*Enfant, chut. Je serai bien. Ne vous inquiétez pas pour moi. Je reviendrai, je vous le promets,"

Eden looked up at me with blue, watery eyes. "*Vous promettez?" she asked hopefully.

I hugged her and squeezed a lie out, inflecting it with as much sincerity as I could. "*Je promets," I replied. She sighed and wound her small arms around my neck.

After a few moments, she retracted and gave me a little smile. I kissed her hairline and squeezed her shoulder, before shooing her off playfully. She smiled and skipped down the hallway, renewed. I stayed kneeling, sighing heavily. I got up slowly and made my way to the balcony. I felt rather than heard Loki behind me. He stood next to me.

"What did she say?" he asked quietly.

"You don't know my language?" I asked him. He shook his head. "I'm not surprised. My ancestors visited Midgard and the humans picked up our language. They call it 'French', I think. Most people aren't taught anything that's been on Midgard," 

Loki nodded and waited for me to speak. I exhaled softly and looked up at the moons. "Eden told me she didn't want me to go,"

"And what did you tell her?" 

I smiled sadly. "I told her a lie. I told her I would come back," 

I sensed Loki wanted to refute my lie, tell me it was truth, but thankfully, he stayed quiet. I lowered my gaze to the towns spread out in front of me. They had all been evacuated. Ghost towns. The lanterns hadn't been lit, doors were swinging open. It was eerie. Quiet, but a wrong kind of quiet. Dead. Empty. So far, Agony hadn't raided any more villages or towns, lucky for me. His first attack had seemed to be a warning. I was hoping he would leave after my death. After death, I would look down from Valhalla in despair if he turned on my kingdom. I had love for no other like I did for Enduran.

> **_Lies._ **
> 
> _Hush._

I looked over at Loki, the clouds overhead splitting the moonlight, making it play in shadows on his handsome face.  He looked over at me, and I was once again struck by how attractive he was. Those cheekbones were so sharp, his eyes bright and deep, set over an aristocratic nose. He slipped a hand around my waist, pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder and twined my fingers with his on my hip. Sleep didn't come easily anymore. I was overladen with responsibility, purpose.

I snuggled further into Loki, wondering how I was going to leave this behind. I'd only just found him, only just reached out and made the physical connection. I wondered what our future would be like. Would we ever marry? How would that work? I was a Queen, he was only a Prince, and the second one at that, so he would most likely be King of Enduran. Would he want a small wedding? A big wedding? Probably small. He would wear his best armour, and I mine. Both of us shining in gold and emerald. I, the picture of femininity with my cream. He, the picture of masculinity with his black. If we had children what would they be like? A raven-haired little boy with bright golden eyes? A tawny-headed little girl with deep emerald eyes? They would most likely be smart, absurdly intelligent, capable of magic. I wondered if they would get the curse. A boy wouldn't, it wasn't possible. Only the women could get it. We would visit Asgard every once in a while, or perhaps Loki's brother would visit us. I had a room fit for him, bedecked in golds blues and reds. The TriWarriors and the Lady Sif and Warrior's Three would get along, I'm sure. Would they ever meet their false aunt, Anna? I doubt it, I wouldn't let that pretender near my children. 

> _**You love him.** _
> 
> _What? No._
> 
> **_Yes, you do. You forget, I am in your head as well. I feel what you feel. Just on a darker, more sinister level._ **
> 
> _Hush. No more on this subject._
> 
> **_I run on instinct. I can feel- I know- he is the right mate. He will protect us, nurture us. You must tell him you want him before we destroy the Tormentor. You must, less we perish._ **
> 
> _But what if it's the wrong choice?_
> 
> _**Trust me. I trust you. I am the basis of evil. I am psychotic, wild, bloodthirsty. But so is he. Together, we will rip apart the Tormentor, and repay every pain he caused a thousand times over. Only together. Together.**   
>  _
> 
>  

I debated Banshee's words for the rest of the night. When Loki and I climbed into bed, I stayed awake. Loki felt it, of course.

"Why are you still awake?" he asked.

"Why are you still awake?" I countered.

"Because you're still awake,"

"What if I am still awake because you are still awake?"

"Well, if you would go to sleep, then I would not be awake, then you would not be awake,"

"How would I be awake if I've already fallen asleep?"

I looked at Loki in the darkness, and burst out in a fit of giggles, which he corroborated with his own deep chuckle.

I suddenly sobered, shifting in his arms to look at the ceiling through the bed curtains.

"Loki?"

He looked over at me, but I kept my gaze fixed solely on the ceiling.

"Yes?" he asked.

I was quiet for a moment. "What would you say if I told you I loved you?"

There was no answer. I started to become nervous, so I sneaked a peek at him. He was staring at the ceiling too. I immediately started to regret saying anything. Insecurities hit me like a brick wall.  _You stupid, dumb chit. You're so naive. He doesn't want you, a broken rage monster. He had lines and lines of beautiful women all scrambling to get in bed with him. You're just here because you're his jailer. He'll leave after the war, he's just doing this to gain you're trust. You're so idiotic. Nobody want you. Nobody will ever want you._ I started to scoot away from him when his arms tightened and held me close. I tensed uncomfortably and waited for him to speak. Finally, he voiced his thoughts. His voice was rough.

"If you told me you loved me," He said. I waited quietly for the rest. "I would tell you I loved you," 

I held my breath, then it all came out in a noisy rush. Warmth bloomed throughout me and I found myself grinning stupidly in the dark. My stomach and heart broke off inside me and did a wild tango. I felt like jumping up and pumping my fist in the air, running though the grass in bare feet and laughing in triumph. Instead, I very softly laid my head back on his shoulder and relaxed into him. Loki brushed hair away from my face and kissed my forehead. I hummed happily and snuggled further into his side, molding my body to his. The night was quiet, but the chirp of Enduran's nocturnal birds could be heard from the balcony. We'd left the door open.

I sucked in a quiet breath. "I love you," I said quietly.

Seconds later I felt Loki's deep timbre rumble in his chest. "I love you,"

Then I could sleep.


	22. Panic in the Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Shenanigans
> 
> p.s. This chapter doesn't hold any real value in the story. If sexual content makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to read this to keep up with the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I had an accident and had to go to hospital. I'll be alright though, don't worry. It was a minor thing.
> 
> p.s. Big Battle Fight Scene is coming next, PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR BATTLE!!!

Panic. Raw. Unruly. It sat in my stomach and ripped through me with claws of ice. My limbs were heavy, breathing was hard. I sat on the cushioned bay window, blankly staring out at the rolling hills and mountains. I  pushed away breakfast, my insides were too quaky. One day. One day. Tomorrow I would lead thousands to battle. I would see _him_.  I felt Loki's eyes following me as I set down the plate and moved to sit at the window. I wanted to scream, and cry, and tear my hair out, and retch. I was lost in a whirlwind of fear and anxiety. I could feel Loki behind me, then see him as he sat down. The silence buzzed in my skull. The time passed, eight heart beats. Thunderous. I needed something, something to ground me, to hold onto. A distraction. Something to avoid feeling this cavernous emptiness. If wind passed through, I'm sure it would whistle through all the holes in me, playing music like an organ, the notes high and strained.

"Will you tell me?" I asked quietly, voice hoarse.

"Tell you what?" Loki asked in return.

"Your side of the story. The truth. What really happened," I answered, turning to face him. Loki's face went hard, and his eyes went blank, before he looked away.

"You understand what it's like to be tossed aside," I winced faintly and nodded. "I have lived in Thor's shadow my entire existence, have been his shadow my entire existence. When I discovered what I truly was, the knowledge cut deeper than any one of Thor's taunts, or the Allfalther's baleful glare. I was raised with tales of the Jotuns' unspeakable cruelty, their masochistic barbarism. That is what they expected from me," Loki said smoothly, suddenly smiling wryly. "And I do hate to disappoint,"

I chuckled acerbically. "If you cannot have their love, take their hate,"

Loki smiled, a little sadly. "Precisely. When all was said and done, after Thor had defeated both the Destroyer, and myself, I suddenly found that I was in a rather compromising state. Thor had broken the Bifrost, and I was dangling off the edge, hanging onto Gungnir," Loki said.

I leaned toward him slightly. I had heard some of the tale before from Thor, but no details. 

"I let go. I fell, I've no idea how long. There was no movement, no pinprick of light, not a whisper of sound. In the Void, you're surrounded by heavy blackness. I thought I had gone blind, gone deaf. I was not even certain I was falling, there was no sign. I was suspended. Time was...amorphous. Then I knew I was falling, because I landed. And somebody found me,"

"Thanos," I murmured. 

Loki looked sharply at me, before nodding minutely. "He had a proposal. I would obtain the Tesseract for him, and in return, he would give rule of Midgard. I refused, of course I refused. I have no need for a bumbling species that is bent on destroying themselves, the idiots. But Thanos, has methods of...persuasion,"

There it was. That flicker of understanding when I told him of my own torture. Loki had been tortured. He was silent for a few moments, his eyes glazed over, lost in another place. I cleared my throat, and he flinched, before continuing.

"He controlled me using a scepter imbued with the Tesseract's power. He seeped into my mind like a viscous fluid, slick, sickening. I knew that if the Tesseract was in his hands, he would use it to destroy and command all the nine realms, he would not stop until Yggdrasil was his, from the very top branch to the lowest root. I constructed a failsafe in the device that created the portal.Using the scepter, it all-"

"Thor told me Sel...Selvig constructed it," I interrupted.

"No. The Tesseract's influence was much too strong,"

"Then how did you do it?"

Loki paled. "It was not an easy feat. To go against his wishes was like pushing myself through a hedge of thorn bushes. I built it slowly, in small increments,"

"Very brave," I muttered.

Loki nodded slightly, looking out the window.

I sighed. "Thank you,"

Loki nodded again. "You're welcome,"

We delved into silence. Soon, the panic came back. _Breath Adelaide. Breath._ The walls started to get closer. I jumped up, my fingers twitching. Quickly, I loped over to the wardrobe, grabbing a tunic and some linen breeches. I brushed and braided my hair, slipped on some shoes and left the room, the stifling anxiety. I walked quickly down the hallway, straining to look normal, to calm the whistling sounds I was making.

I found myself in the training room, viciously punching a sack of sand, the skin of my knuckles splitting. I huffed and panted, hitting it even as my blood started to stain it, and tears started to stream down my face. I heard the door open but I didn't stop, throwing everything I could into destroying the sack. Hands gripped my waist and pulled. I whirled on the person, pushing and hitting to get free. I screeched, unable to get away. I resorted to using my fists, hitting the broad chest, smearing burgundy over the green tunic, the color so deep the blood turned black. 

"No!" I screamed, pushing against the chest. His arms wrapped around me and I kicked my legs ferociously, hissing like an animal. His arms crushed me to him, and suddenly, I crumbled. I sagged into Loki's chest, resting my head on his shoulder. I keened, a horrible, distressed sound that came from my chest. Loki knelt, cradling me to him. I wound both hands into his shirt, before climbing into his lap, straddling him, curving a hand into his hair and pushing his head down until he nestled under my chin. I put a arm around his shoulders and he squeezed my waist. 

> _**Protect him, we have to protect him. Keep him safe, keep him safe. No harm will come to him, keep him safe, he's ours to protect.** _

Banshee whined in my head, and I opened my mouth, letting the sounds come out. Loki seemed to know what I needed and kept still, letting me pat my hands all over him, my tears dripping down.

"I'll protect you, I'll watch over you, you're safe with me, you're safe with me," I told him, squeezing him close, resting my cheek on his head. "Don't worry, you're safe, you're safe, I'll protect you, no one will hurt you while I'm here,"

A guard entered and I stiffened, every one of Banshee's instincts urging me to protect, to guard. Her hackles rose and I growled dangerously, rumbling from in my chest, rising slightly and hugging Loki tightly to me, leaning over. The guard's eyes widened and he took a step back. I kept up my growl, the vibrations deepening and cresting like a wave. The guard fled, and I snarled at the swinging door, eyeing it threateningly and settling back against Loki, keeping him close in the cage of my body. I stayed aware, muscles tensed, ready to attack. Loki raised his head and kissed my collar bone, pulling my tunic down to reach. Growling softly in warning, I ignored him and stared at the door, listening for any approaching sounds. Loki bit lightly into the crook of my shoulder, sucking the skin afterwards to soothe it. I let my head tip back, sighing, before I whipped it back up and remembered my purpose. I took his lips off me, tilting his head up.

"No," I said firmly, fixing my eyes onto his, asserting my power. He dropped his head and licked my clavicle.

"They won't hurt me," he murmured against my skin. I huffed softly but kissed his hair, relaxing slightly. Loki returned to his earlier spot, sucking and licking the skin.

"Loki," I warned. He blew his cool breath over the spot, sending a shiver down my spine. I growled and picked up his head again, dipping mine and licking a stripe up the pale length of his throat, before tucking his hair behind his ears and running my hands down his chest.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Making sure you smell like me," I explained.

Loki's pupils dilated and he pulled me down into a searing kiss, tongue and teeth fighting for dominance. I squirmed closer into Loki's lap, gasping into his mouth when he rocked his hips into mine. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, leading me into a dance of swirling tongues and gyrating hips. My need racketed up with every movement Loki made, and his groan of pleasure when I tugged his hair had me breathing heavily. The world tilted dangerously, and suddenly we were sitting on the floor of my bedchambers. I looked down at Loki questioningly and he smirked in response. I leapt from his lap and pulled him up, kissing him deeply while tugging his shirt over his head. He acquiesced and threw it away, leaning forward to kiss me again, but I stopped him with a hand on his chest. I pushed him back until he hit the wall. Now that the room was flooded with light, I could see his body more clearly than my first time. He had sparse, dark hair, a trail from bellybutton that disappeared under the edge of his breeches, and slim, white scars, some thicker than others, crossing over his torso and arms like a road map.

"Off," I demanded, pointing to his trousers.

"Only if you remove something of yours," he quipped.

I narrowed my eyes and added a slight edge to my voice. "Off,"

"No," Loki said, challenging me.

I drew in a breath, and pinned him to the wall. "You dare to defy me?" I hissed, moving my hand to palm him. He gasped and twitched into my hand. I attached my mouth to his neck, sucking the skin into my mouth, worrying it until blood rises to the surface as a bruise. Loki moved his hands to grasp my waist, laying his head on my shoulder as he rutted into my hand. I could feel his hardness through the thin material, and hear his groans and gasps as they escape his mouth, hot breath panting over my shoulder. His moans got louder, more desperate, and he lost rhythm, his hips stuttering. 

"I'm close," he whispered.

"Good," I murmured, before stepping away and removing my hands.

Loki looked beautiful, desperate, needy,  _angry_. "What are you-you vile woman!"

I snickered. He moved his hands to finish himself but I stopped him with a growl. He snarled back.

"Off!" I commanded, purposely licking my lips slowly.

Loki's pupils dilated even further, rendering his irises mere rings of emerald around a deepening pool of black. He fumbled with the ties to his breeches, moaning whenever his fingers brushed over his erection. He tried to linger, but I always stopped him with a growl. Finally, he was bare, his length standing straight and proud. I salivated, taking in his toned, steel-cut legs.

"On the bed," I managed.

Loki smirked, brushing against me on his way. I followed him, shedding my clothes until I stood as naked as him. His eyes raked over my body, and he hummed when I shivered. He laid back, his hands behind his head, relaxed, only his arousal belaying his heightened tension. I crawled slowly over him, hovering close above his body, not touching him, but inches away, so he could feel my body heat. He stared at me with dark eyes, and I leaned down to kiss him hard, bruising his lips. I pulled away, and his lips were red, his pale cheeks flushed. I dove in again for his throat. I nibbled on his Adam's apple, going down the pale column, leaving bite marks and bruises as I went, marking him. I licked my way down his chest, taking in his gasping breaths when I flicked his nipples with my tongue. I kissed his stomach, occasionally letting my tongue lap up the salt from his skin. I sucked on his hipbones, biting into the pale skin of his thighs. Loki whimpered, very quietly, and the noise made my already insatiable need soar to new levels. He had taken his hands out from under his head, and now his elegant fingers were twitching by his sides.

"Dammit, woman, get on with it," Loki snarled.

I smirked, kissing the side of his length, before taking him into my mouth deeply. He bucked, sucking in a breath and holding it before letting it out in a deep groan, slumping back against the bed. I moaned around him, and his hand shot down to wind in my hair. He was already very close, and I wanted to overwhelm him. I slid down on him, taking him deep into my throat. Unconsciously, I swallowed, and he groaned again, thrusting his hips up. I came up sucking hard, swirling my tongue around the tip. A rhythm developed, I sucked him deeply, swallowed, and came up hollowing my cheeks, using the flat of my tongue to flick the sensitive spot just behind the head. I teased and kneaded his thighs, his muscles flexing and tensing under my hands. When I found the spots I had bitten earlier, he whined, and I made sure to finger the bite marks. I knew the signs from earlier and redoubled my efforts. His moans got louder, and his hand tightened in my hair, starting to move his hips in time to my movements. I looked up in time to see his head thrown back and his eyes wide open, his mouth parted in pleasure. I sped up, and he came with a shout, exhausting himself in my mouth.

I sat up, laying on my side next to him. He panted hard, staring at the ceiling. I ran an idle hand down his chest and he turned to face me, green eyes slightly glassy. His raven locks were messily spread out on the pillows.

"Not...a word," he breathed. I grinned, enjoying myself as he caught his breath and recovered. 

Loki rolled on his side to face me, the hunger renewing. He flipped me over, situating himself above me. He kissed me slowly, languidly, as if we had all the time in the world. I realized with a start that we didn't, and a tear rolled down my cheek.  _I'm going to die tomorrow._  Loki kissed the tear away, sucking slightly on the skin of my cheek. He moved down, licking my collarbone, dipping his cool tongue into the hollow. I sighed, but gasped as he suddenly sucked a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. I arched into him when he lightly nipped it, gasping. He teased my stomach, leaving my muscles quivering, before moving down to lift my legs. Loki sucked on the skin of my thighs, leaving love marks, drawing ever closer to my center. My hips twitched, and I nearly begged, overcome with need. _Want_ left long ago,  _Need_ was what I was feeling. Burning, collapsing  _Need._ Loki blew lightly over me, his cool breath a stark contrast to the heat I was sure he must be feeling. _  
_

At the first touch of his tongue, my hips jerked, and only his strong hands on my thighs kept me down. He licked a stripe from my entrance up, circling my clit, then sucking it harshly, soothing it with the flat of his tongue. He danced around for a while, experimenting, finding my favorite spots before he began to move in earnest. When he slipped a finger inside me, I moaned, only to whine when he added another, twisting and scissoring. Combined with the efforts of his tongue, flicking and sucking on my clit, the coil in my gut wound tighter and tighter with every passing minute. I moved my hips to his rythym, placing a hand in his hair, scraping his scalp with my nails. When he moaned against me, I nearly broke, but he sucked on me hard, and I did, the world crumbling around me. Loki licked me gently through my climax, and when I was done, he laid my legs down and I melted into the bed. I turned my head to look at him, and he kissed my forehead tenderly, before wrapping my body in his. I rested my head on his chest, feeling a surge of love for Loki and his unnatural chill.

When I felt him hard against my stomach, I kissed him, biting his lower lip. I rolled him over, sitting on top of him, keeping up the kiss. He gasped into my mouth when I grabbed him, stroking him twice, looking into his bright emerald eyes, his onyx hair, so dark, before sinking down on him. Loki groaned deeply and I whimpered, feeling his impressive length slide through me. While I adjusted, Loki sat up, moving to sit on his heels, every movement drawing a quiet noise of pleasure from us both. When he was ready, I grinded on him, and a choked noise came from his throat, so I bounced, before grinding again, teasing him. He grabbed my hips and lifted me, slamming me down and moving against me in a way that my clit rubbed against him. I whined and moaned, moving with him. He thrusted up into me while I bounced down, taking him deeply. The smack of our bodies was obscene, filthy, but so  _right._ I rested my forehead against his, peering deeply into his eyes. He kissed me, winding his tongue around mine. 

"Norns, I love you" Loki breathed. I kissed him again, lightly.

"And, I love you," I told him.

We moved faster, desperate for release. Loki began a series of quiet grunts, thrusting deeper before he spent himself inside me with a loud groan. His release triggered mine, and the world shattered, blinding white light encompassing me, pure pleasure coursing through every nerve, all my synapses firing at once. The world came back together slowly, leaving both of us slumped against each other, gasping for breath. I pushed him back, rolling us over so he laid atop me, surrounding me like a cool blanket. He nuzzled between my breasts, lapping at the sweat, and I shivered lightly until the aftershocks passed. Loki kissed my skin lightly, before falling asleep, and I held him close, wondering how I ever lived without him. How I would live without him if he died tomorrow. I had had him by my side for six months, and I loved him. Gods, did I love him, and I would do everything in my power to protect him. 

Tomorrow, I would die for him.


	23. Destroy The Tormentor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ding, ding, ding,
> 
> FIGHT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big fight scene, as promised. 
> 
> Do you guys want to see their wedding and children? Or do you want it to just end with the battle won and peace restored?

_Cold._

_Empty._

_Cold._

_Empty._

I repeated those words in my head as Eden and some unnameable girl dressed me in my battle armour. Newly made. The scuffs and scratches gone, in place was thick leather and thicker metal plates. In the mirror, the girl's eyes were dead, her face flat and devoid of humanity, but she managed to muster an encouraging smile for Eden, even if it gave the girl more fear than assurance, tears falling down her young, red cheeks.

They both left, and I looked in the mirror again, slowly coming to terms with the fact that the blank girl was me. Understandable really, how I looked so  _cold, empty._ I had too. I had to save my anger, any emotion for the battlefield, so I wouldn't feel the fear. I met Loki's gaze in the mirror, his eyes stuck on mine worringly. I wanted to say something, offer comfort. I didn't exactly excel at that subject -comforting someone- but I softened the harsh lines of my face, and he nodded. I could still see his face outlined in passion, the adoration in his gaze, and somewhere beneath the layers of stone where I had currently hid my heart, it fluttered. 

Loki was already suited up, and I knew that if I had been in a right state of mind, I would've found the sight pleasing, the lean lines of his body lengthened and the collar flared to accentuate his sharp cheekbones. The panic flared, the fear, and I delved into myself, forcefully grabbing the fear and panic and squeezing it until it became a little rock of heat, and I shuvved it deeply into myself, under the simmering anger I felt in my gut.

I stalked to the vanity, gazing upon the crown that had been forged for the sole purpose of battle. It was a fearsome thing, unnerving and disturbing to an astounding degree. I loved it, loved the power I felt when I placed it on my head. Ghastly hands rose from above my ears, fingertips touching a straight line down the middle of my head. The thumbs came to rest at my hairline, a golden band connecting the two hands around my scalp. The fingers were skinny, the joints knobby, death shining bright in the ghoulish flesh. The curved nails were painted a metallic cream, the royal crest appearing in the form of a ring on both middle fingers. I wound my hair around the circlet a few times, knowing that when I let Banshee out and her ancient magic made my hair move as if underwater, the undulation would keep the crown in place. With the palms snuggly fitting against my skull, I turned to the window.

Agony's army waited. The lines of soldiers dusky and dark, ominous through the early morning fog. His ships rose from the ground like great monoliths, tearing at the grey sky. 

"It is time," I stated heavily. Loki came to stand beside me.

"We will prevail," he said. 

I said nothing, turning my eyes to him, drinking in every detail there was. His raven hair fell in soft waves, longer than before, falling a little past his shoulders. He'd tucked it behind his ears. He had lines of concern in his forehead and around his eyes, turning his pick lips into a downward frown. His stance was stiff, rigid, his long fingers clasped tightly behind his back. When I looked into his eyes, a fire peered down at me from and aristocratic nose, brows drawn together. 

 

> _**Protect, protect, protect.** _

I curved a hand into the lapel of his overcoat and pulled his down, so we were level, nose to nose.

"We stay together," I ordered, ignoring the note of desperation that slipped out.

Loki curved a hand into my shoulder caps, reaching under the metal to pull me closer. He stared deeply into my eyes. I wonder what he saw. 

"We stay together," he repeated just as forcefully, kissing my forehead in a brief moment of tenderness. 

A tear slipped down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly.  _Weakness,_ I scolded myself. 

The walk to the battlefield was solemn. Coran attempted to hug me, and I overcame my aversion to new touch my quickly patting his shoulder and leaning away as I extracted myself. His lip quivered, but he managed to fall to a knee, crossing his heart with a forearm. I knelt and touched our foreheads, before standing up, tucking the memory deeply into my mind so I wouldn't feel the emotion. I couldn't deal with distractions. He braved a stoic face.

"The kingdom has never had a better Queen," he voiced shakily, taking a deep breath. I dipped my head, bending at the waist slightly. The only thanks I could give at the moment, for if I spoke, surely my voice would break, and that was not what I needed, what anyone needed. The people needed me strong, unmovable as the mountains that rose over our horizon in jagged edged slopes. 

Loki and I stopped as we exited the palace, shifting in the shadows. We looked at each other, kissing gently before we parted. I knew the moment he tucked away his heart. He widened his stance, tensed his shoulders, the shadows playing on his face elevating the cruelty of his now-threatening gaze. 

I did the same, focusing on the slow burn of anger I felt in my gut. I dug through it, sifting through the memories of my parents' rejection, my torture, the insipid people who stared at me in disgust, my own self loathing. I drew it up, into my chest, letting it leak out, at the same time releasing Banshee. I snarled when I felt my limbs explode with heat, pain and odd pleasure mixed, like hitting your elbow. Just like always, once my hair started to sift and wave, the crown was held close to my head. A dizzying rush of power and heat swam through me, and I knew from memory that Banshee's glow had increased fractionally. I flexed my arms, feeling the supple leather straps of my vambraces shift. We walked to the stables, mounting our horses. The TriWarriors horses were gone, they were already at the army camps. My horse, Sanctifie, was a gorgeous, smokey black, dots of white on her rump. Her mane was black, and had been braided for the occasion. Her name meant 'hallows'. She had been fitted with armour reminiscent of mine, black leather and golden plates covered her torso and legs, sharpened spikes on either side meant to run through an enemy if they came too close. A fitted helmet coming down to protect her neck. Loki was riding her sister, Potence, also black, but instead of white on her rump, it was more focused on her torso, though you couldn't see them now because of the armour that encased her vulnerable flesh of her torso. Her name meant 'gallows'. Fitting, I think, for war horses.

When we arrived at the camps, the warriors were in rows. Foot soldiers, then cavalry. They were armoured in gold, their shields boasting the royal crest, cream hands holding an emerald star, all on a background of gold. Before Loki moved to sit with the TriWarriors, he reached into space and handed me my sickles, taking his staff for himself. I rode to the front of the rows, staying quiet so the warriors could soak up the sight and hopefully gain confidence. I raised a sickle.

"Who do we fight for?" I shouted, letting the rumble of Banshee's voice echo out around me.

The warriors banged their swords against their shields, a clashing of both for each syllable.

 _Crash, crash, crash._ "Enduran!"

I raised both sickles, hacking them together, the harsh  _zing_  falling around us like lightning.

"Who do we fight for?"

 _Crash, crash, crash._ "Enduran!"

"Who do we fight for!"

 _Crash, crash, crash._ "Enduran!"

It was a wave, a rhythm. A battle song. Words ceased, only the brutal shear of their weapons upon their defense hollowing out around us. The TriWarriors came to flank me. Sidi and Bur to my right, Loki and Pox to my left. They would stay in this formation the whole battle. As a Rule of War, if the one in command of the army fell under the enemy's weapon, then the war would cease. I would be targeted heavily, as would Agony. We rotated, riding through the camp towards the battlefield. The soldiers followed us, the steady clash of their shields and swords winding through us.

_Crash, crash, crash._

_Crash, crash, crash._

_Crash, crash, crash._

The sound reached the enemy long before we did. It thrummed in the air, the pregnant pause before the next crash left people dazed, only the hushed whisper of our feet on the grass before the next collision rang out like a box to the ears. I felt my heart, along with the steady well of Banshee's power inside me pulse and beat in time with the crashes. We stood on one hill, the enemy on the other, a valley separating us.

I could see Agony standing in front of thousands of soldiers, all in matte black armour, purple and grey mixed in to match up his outfit. Studded fabric and black armour clung to his torso and arms, his grey cape fluttered in the soft breeze, and I felt all the courage slink out of me and melt into the ground. I wanted to turn to Loki, and have him teleport us anywhere, just  _away._ I snorted, disgusted with myself.  _No, I will rip him apart. I will eviscerate him. I will destroy him._ The thought calmed me some, and my anger doubled, the golden shimmer from my skin shining a little brighter.

When we reached our mark, and the warriors clashes had stopped, all was silent. An odd thought in the back of my head told me that this would be a great scene to paint. The fog rolled over the hills, low and slinking, winding between the stock-still soldiers like cat on silent feet.  The early morning sun threw my army's shadows over the field, hopefully adding some modicum of intimidation.

I slid off of Sanctifie, giving her flank a pat. The TriWarriors looked at me, concerned.  I sucked in a breath, lifting my chin and pushing back my shoulders, before stalking down the slope to meet Agony in the middle. My skirt hit the back of my calves, a reassuring comfort. The glow of my skin shone on the ground, chasing away the shadows, a beacon in the fog. I stopped and waited, tense as a spring until the fog parted slightly and I could make out Agony's shape against the grey sky.

"Wench," he said as greeting. His voice slunk across the ground, seeping into me and gripping my heart with icy fingers.

"Demon," I replied.  _No fear, no fear, no fear._

He came closer, and I suppressed a shiver. He was gaunt, he always had been. Sunken cheeks, hollow eyes. His violet eyes glittered threateningly as he surveyed me. His hair tousled in the wind, and he would've been handsome. That is what made him so frightening. He was appealing, and then the mask fell away and you saw how cruel he really was.

He started to circle me, and I did the same. I eyed him, keeping my hands close to my body, ready to draw a dagger if necessary. On one round Loki caught my eye and nodded slightly, anger in his eyes. A slight tilt of my chin was my only reply. 

"So deadly. I will enjoy breaking your pretty golden skin again," Agony hissed.

"As I will enjoy gutting you with my knife," I retorted.

He mock frowned. "Now that was not very flattering,"

"Cease your mindless babbling," I snarled. "You spilled my blood, and murdered my mother and father, and I will have my vengeance,"

Agony scowled. "So be it,"

He drew his sword from the sheath on his shoulder and swiped at me. I dodged and quickly took my sickles off my belt. We backed away from each other, stopping when we reached our respective armies. I stopped in front of the TriWarriors and Loki, giving each of them a deep look. before mounting Sanctifie. They all returned it, bowing their heads slightly and tightening the grip on their weapons. I rode in front of the rows, glancing over my shoulder. Agony climbed on his own horse, grey, with purple armour. I turned back to my warriors, the excitement of battle filling me and mixing oddly with the dread I felt.

"Who do you fight for?" I shouted.

 _Crash, crash, crash._ "Enduran!"

"Then fight for her!" I screamed.

The soldiers issued a battle cry, and Sanctifie reared on her legs as I echoed it, the sound harsh and brutal and awe-inspiring. We turned, and as a unit galloped towards the enemy. I looked over at Loki as we rode across the field, into the dip. He seemed to understand the thought. _We stay together._  The grey-and-purple clad soldiers ran towards us, and I searched for Agony, quickly putting him to the back of my mind as I stretched out my sickled hand and braced myself for the collision of two armies. 

_One heartbeat. We stay together._

_Two heartbeats._

_Three heartbeats. The cavalry's outrun the footsoldiers._

_Four heartbeats. Where is Agony?_

_Five heartbeats._

_Six heartbeats. Getting close, brace, brace, prepare for impact._

_Seven heartbeats._

We smashed, and the sound exploded around us, the sheer force ringing out a screech of annihilation. I screamed, hacking into bodies with my sickle, the blood spraying over my hands and Sanctifie's legs. The TriWarriors spread out around me, waving their own weapons, and I looked to Loki every so often, reassuring myself he was well and near me. I ended lives with precision, either with a slice of my sickle, or a well placed nudge of Sanctifie, the spike on her armour sliding smoothly through their flesh. Suddenly, a force hit me and I flew from Sanctifie's back, landing hard on the ground. I stood quickly, but Sanctifie had already run off. Agony's Army closed in, surrounding me and I fought viciously, about to kick one off me he suddenly stiffened, mouth opening and closing in shock and pain, before his eyes rolled and he stilled. Bur peeked his head around and winked, dislodging his axe from the body and turning to lodge it in another. I jumped up and away, rolling to help an Endurian. He ducked his head quickly in thanks, and I took a very quick look around me. Soldiers were falling from both sides. Pox had sweat dripping and sticking it his hair, while Sidi helped him with the enemy, Bur defending while Loki took the offensive.

I looked through the mess of chaos, blood running down to pool between the two hills, a river of death. Bodies, of horses and men, littered the ground, yet more still fought on. I was desperate to find Agony, not only to exact my revenge, but to end the bloodshed. I felt someone come up behind me and ducked, whirring around and ridding the person of their lower legs. Another came at me only to fall after a few feet, Loki's knife sticking out the back of his head. He smiled slightly and threw another behind me, and I returned the favour, taking down a man about to hack at him with a sword.

The fight seemed to go on for ages as we systematically felled Agony's Army, men of our own falling as well. I had seen glimpses of Agony, but never more than a swish of his grey cape, the glint of the rising sun on his sword. I had to find him though. We were all a little worse for wear. Sidi had a limp, Bur's forehead sported a dripping gash, and finally, finally, the burn of exhaustion seeped deep into my muscles. That was never a good sign.

A searing pain burned in my arm, and I shot away, looking down to see blood escaping a deep cut in my right arm. I looked back up to see Agony's glittering violet eyes dancing in pleasure. He came again and I dodged, grimacing at the still-present pain in my arm. Pox tried to help and I shot him a glare, knowing he heard what I told the warriors.  _Don't assist me._ He glared back and tried to hold ground, but I straightened, looming over him even though he was far away, and he shrank slightly, breaking my gaze to cut into an enemy's thigh with his club.

Agony came again and I blocked him with a vambrace, taking the oppurtunity to swipe at him with my sickle. Before I could, though, he kicked my legs and I fell heavily, instantly rolling away to safety. I stood up in time to see him throw a fireball at me, so I focused on my own spell of protection, and the fire rolled over me smoothly, and I was left no worse for wear. 

I rushed him, and he tried to dodge but I grabbed at his leg, and twisted. I heard a sickening 'pop' and Agony screamed in anger. He swung his sword and nicked the top of my leg, but I escaped before he hit too deep. Agony's leg was at a twisted angle at the knee, a disgusting visual. He rounded it back, another sickening pop accompanying the realignment of his kneecap. I knew Agony couldn't heal himself, he was Endurian. The betraying bastard.

It's then that someone's shield came into play, whirling through the air and knocking hard into my shoulder, sending me sprawling and landing hard on my injured arm. I cried out in pain and staggered to my feet, clutching the wound. I'd forgotten about it, a fast beating heart and pumping chemicals blurring the pain until it was past my notice.

Agony swung his sword and I blocked it, but the blow forced me back, and he swung again cutting into the leather of my bodice. He didn't harm me, until he slid it out instead of picking it out, the sword cool edge splitting my skin. It was a small cut, but small cuts burn, and burn it did. Each time I twisted to block him, or attack him, that little fissure opened up and burned like it was on fire.

The TriWarriors were fighting tensely, alternating between throwing me worried looks and ending lives. Loki was wild, spinning and throwing his knives, spending most of his time watching me. 

I know I said that if I died, it was meant to be, but I was not going to go without a fight. I chased after him, even when his sword bit into my calf, I chased him. I found myself mouthing words, and only realised sometime after I had been softly repeating, ' _I will kill you'_.

Hours had passed, the sun rose high in the sky and the fog had dissipated. Sweat ran in rivets down my back and in between my chest. I cut through Agony's achilles with triumph and followed him as he fell down the slope, resting face first in the blood that had gathered in the valley. Most of it had soaked into the soil, and it seeped up around my boots when my weight squeezed it from the ground. I was tired, bleeding from a gash in my upper arm, a cut in my calf, the burning cut in my side and on top of my thigh, and my hands and wrists ached inside my gauntlets. I sucked in a deep breath where Agony was scrabbling to his feet, obviously difficult without the complete use of his ankle. I sucked in a heavy breath and braced myself for Agony's retaliation. When he stood, he threw a knife, and I swung my sickle to knock it away. I threw a knife as well, smiling in satisfaction when it embedded itself in his thigh. He screamed and threw another, one I was too slow to block, and it sunk into the skin of my thigh, a mirror image of the injury I had caused him. I fell to my knee, my bad leg wobbling and giving out. I tried to get back up but having the flesh of your calf split and a knife in your thigh makes it hard to force the muscles to cooperate. I tore the knife out. He had infused them with magic, so that they seeped dark energy into the injury. It burned like hellfire and dark fluid seeped out of the wound.

"Finally yielding, are we?" Agony breathed, wheezing slightly as he held his torso, where I had earlier slid my sickle through his belly.

"I will never yield to you, demon," I responded, struggling to get to my feet. I got nowhere, and fell heavily back down.

"I believe you," he said, regarding me with appraising eyes.

He lifted his blood-smeared hands, making a complicated motion, and soon, a purple and black ball of misty energy synthesized between his palms.

 

> _**If we cannot destroy the Tormentor, then we will die with honour, laying down our life to protect our home and people.** _
> 
> _Of course, there is nothing more we can do._

I conjured as much dignity as I could, straightening my back and holding my head high. I looked to Loki, he was watching with desperate eyes. I gave him a small smile.  _It will be alright, dear._ I looked to the sky one last time, to the mountains and the forest far beyond. Then I closed my eyes and waited. The air was filled with the stench of blood, rusty, metallic, but underneath I could still smell the crisp freshness of Enduran's air. I imagined I could hear the bubbling streams in the forest. A phantom warmth encompassed me and I smiled, remembering I had Loki's heart. A pang of sadness tried to overrule, but I ignored it, focusing instead on the one I loved.  _I love you, Loki, with everything I am._ I felt a rush of air, and I accepted my fate.

 

 

 

A pained cry wretched my eyes opened, and for a moment I was confused. I didn't remember making any noise. Then clarity came, a rush of alertness that overwhelmed me. I struggled to understand, grasping blindly at thoughts. I looked for Loki, meeting Agony's eyes and following his line of sight.

Everything slowed to a standstill, and my heart stopped. A smoking, bloody ruin sat in the middle of Loki's chest, where he lay staring at the sky and gasping. I crawled over to him, slowly, not wanting to believe my eyes. I touched his face lightly with my fingertips and his eyes flicked to me, cold fingers grasping for my hand. Breathing shallowly, I gaped at him, eyes and mind blank, not yet fully comprehending what had happened. Loki offered me a small, pained smile, as blood stained his teeth. 

His blood. Loki's blood was in his mouth because Agony fired energy at me and Loki jumped in front, taking the energy and letting the energy take part of his chest. He was going to die. Reality stole my breath, and I wailed, keening high as I cradled his face with my hands.  _No, no, no, no, no, no._

"It will..be-alright," he whispered brokenly, bloody dribble spilling out as he spoke.

Hot, white rage filled me, to an extent I'd never known, and I gently left him, coming to my feet quickly, just _not_ caring about my injuries. I stalked Agony, and for the first time, I saw a flash of fear in his eyes. He threw his knife at me and I ignored him, the pain an incessant itch, nagging as a fly. I screamed as I reached him, grabbing his shoulder and curling my sickle into his stomach, sluicing through skin, muscle, organ, muscle, and skin again, the tip of my sickle appearing through his back. His eyes became wide, locked onto mine and he grabbed my wrist. I snarled at him and wretched the sickle higher, until I met the hard ridge of his sternum. It cracked under the pressure and he screamed before going limp in my arms. I extracted my sickle, growling in disgust at his blood dripping off the metal. I kicked his head viciously, his neck cracking grotesquely. Always make sure your enemies are dead. 

With Agony's blood joining the flow toward the flooded valley, I turned and limped back to Loki, falling in front of him and laying my hands over his chest. He feebly grasped my knee, and I tried not to hiss as he pressed on the wound from earlier.

"N-no,"

"Yes, Loki, now hush, I have to concentrate," I replied, reaching into myself to find my magic underneath Banshee's. Soon, golden light escaped through my fingers and I watched tiredly as Loki's skin re-knit itself and his bones came back together like puzzle pieces. Having Banshee close wasn't a problem, surprisingly. Healing was an easy magic. Everything carried some memory of it's totality, and it wanted to be whole. You just had to give the object power to reassign itself. His wound was large though, and overtime I could feel myself waning. 

Agony's Army was slowly trudging away, back to their camps. Now that Agony was dead, the war was over. Tomorrow they would come back to collect their dead. As would we.

My arms felt heavy, and Loki squeezed my knee gently before he passed out. It was expected. Even though he had been healed, his body would need time to catch up and accept the forced healing. I stood shakily, and I couldn't feel my legs. I looked around slowly and saw Sidi covering her mouth in surprise, Pox gaping and Bur's eyes were the widest I'd ever seen.

"Your Majesty," he started.

"Yes?" I said carefully. My tongue felt like lead and my mouth full of cotton.

"There are knives in your side," Pox finished.

I looked down. Three knife handles protruded from my abdomen. They were grey. I knew their blades were purple. I looked up at their faces, making sure they saw what I saw, before staring at the knives again.

"That is unfortunate," I mumbled, before grabbing the hilt of one and slowly taking it out. Black, viscous fluid escaped the wound, and I remembered the magic on Agony's knives. I extracted the other two with clumsy fingers. The fluid was thick, and I watched dully as it escaped my body and dripped down the leather bodice, coming to splatter on my boot. I suddenly felt very cold. I couldn't feel any pain, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that was very bad. I staggered back a step, and Bur raced to catch me. I slumped over his arm and stared at the sky. Black and white spots danced outside my vision. I sucked in a painful breath and closed my eyes as black enveloped me and silence wrapped me in it's dark shroud.


	24. Where Am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adelaide wakes up, then she really wakes up. And surprise, surprise, Loki is there both times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end, dearest friends. The next chapter will be the last, concluding with the wedding and the children.

_"Where am I?" I asked aloud, slowly turning to take in my surroundings._

_"Your mind," a woman said. I spun around quickly. I was met with a glowing mist, vaguely humanoid in shape. I squinted, trying to make the image come into focus. Her voice sounded familiar._

_"Who are you?" I asked warily. The woman's...eyes? fixed on me, two orbs of glowing gold slightly brighter that the rest of her hazy shape._

_"I believe you call me Banshee," she responded. I gasped slightly in realisation. I knew I had recognized the voice. Without it mixing with mine, it was darker, huskier, farther down in the vocal registry than I was used to._

_"Why am I here?" I questioned her. She sat down next to me...I think? The mist congealed for a moment before dissipating, and I could vaguely make out some definition of her body._

_"I am not sure," she responded._

_I looked through her 'body' to the object underneath. We were both sitting on a bed, with grey sheets, and grey blankets, and grey pillows. I looked around the room to see the same theme. Grey stone floor, grey stone walls and ceiling. Everything was grey, made out of place by Banshee's golden glow and my bloody and tattered armour. I was still wounded, yet the gashes didn't bleed, and I couldn't feel any pain. I experimentally poked the knife wound in my thigh, and shivered in unease when I felt nothing. Just the pressure of my finger._

_I stood slowly, smiling in satisfaction when my body behaved properly. I thought I would sway, or perhaps trip._

_"You said we're in my mind?" I asked her. The top of the mist bobbed, and I took it as a nod of confirmation. I place a hand on the doorknob, silver metal, of course, and turned to look at her in question. The mist bobbed again and I opened the door, stepping into a very peculiar hallway. The half of the hallway I was on had the same theme as the room. Grey stone floor took up half the hallway, and on either side of me silver doors lined the grey stone walls._

_The other half of the hallway had lush, green walls, the floor a rich, dark wood that shined. Each door was a different color. My gaze lingered on a gold and emerald one, reminiscent of Loki, and it in fact had a golden plaque with curling script stating his name attached to the door. I looked at the door of the room I was in, and the stone plaque said 'Recuperation' in dark, simple writing._

_"What is this?" I asked, feeling the air behind me move and knowing Banshee had risen and followed me._

_"Your right and left brain,"_

_I remembered what I had read about the right and left brain. The left brain was logical, analytical, strategic, realistic. The right brain was vivid, creative, emotional, intuitive._

_"Interesting," I responded. I was obviously in the left brain. The rooms were all base bodily functions and practical subjects. I stepped into the hallway and the doors next to me were labeled "Defensive Tactics and "Muscle Memory._

_I wanted to step into Loki's room, just to see what was in there. I crossed into the hallway, the click of my boots becoming dissonant between the stone and wooden floors. I passed several doors, and they all seemed to be for people. I hesitated slightly at doors for my mother and father, but I quickly passed them in anticipation for Loki's. When I stood in front of the door, I turned to ask Banshee a question._

_"What is in here?"_

_"I've never been in there, so I do not know," she replied._

_"Where do you stay?" I asked._

_She tilted her golden, smokey head to the floor. "Downstairs. With your nightmares and fears. You would not want to go down there,"_

_I shuddered. "All right, then,"_

_I nodded slightly to myself before slowly placing my hand on the knob. I took a deep breath before opening it and stepping inside. I suddenly found myself wrapped in two strong arms, and I recognized the familiar smell of Loki. I wound my arms and hugged him close, one hand on his back and the other in his hair._

_"Loki," I said breathlessly._

_"I'm here," he replied._

_I leaned back in his arms. "Why? Why are you in my mind?"_

_"I am not the 'real' Loki, rather what your subconscious thinks I am, or should be," he answered._

_"Intriguing," I responded, letting him go and moving around him. He smelled like Loki, and when we had embraced I had felt a heartbeat. He looked exactly like him, and carried himself the same way. "You are just like him,"_

_Loki smirked. "You have a very good memory,"_

_I grinned back. "Indeed. So what is this room for?"_

_Loki followed me idly as I walked around the room. "Mainly memories of you and Loki, but it also houses me, the subconscious version,"_

_"This is so marvelous, how did I not know about this place?" I asked in amazement. The room had golden floors, emerald walls, plush curtains lining them, and loveseats scattered about._

_"Your subconscious does many things without you knowing," he replied. "Like right now,"_

_I turned to face him. "What do you mean?"_

_Loki shrugged. "You have been in the Recuperation room before, but never this long. There is no real concept of time here, so I cannot tell you exactly how long you have been stuck here. You are usually there when you sleep, because you go so long without sleep. No more of that," he reprimanded. He smiled slightly when I rolled my eyes and continued. "I infer that the only reason you are consciously here is that your body is healed adequately enough for you to return to the real world,"_

_"All right," I said. "I wish I could spend more time here,"_

_"Do not worry, you will have the real Loki back shortly,"_

_"Shortly?" I questioned._

_"Yes. Do you not feel his hand holding yours?" he returned._

_I stared at my hand until I felt a weird crawling-of-skin sensation. I flexed my hand and the sensation reacted, seeming to crawl? even more._

_"Unnerving," I commented._

_Loki chuckled. "Well, now. You best be on your way. 'Shortly' I said, if you do not remember,"_

_"Ah, yes, I-" I stopped mid-sentence when I felt an abnormal pulling in my head. I jumped and lifted a hand to my skull. If was as if there was a string connecting my brain to something, and the something just pulled the string. It shot down my spine and reverberated in my heels._

_"Shortly," Loki reminded me, when the pull came stronger, and his face blurred, before coming back into focus. I stumbled a bit, and the pull wrapped it's arms around my mind, and hefted me up, up, up, until I disappeared through the ceiling._

 

I flexed my hand again, the skin-crawling sensation replaced by warmth. 

"Addie?"

I turned my head a little, before carefully opening my eyes. The room was comfortably dim, and for a moment I stared up above me, silently noting that I was in my bed, judging by the familiar curtains and frame I saw before the ceiling. 

"Addie?"

I tensed slightly at the nickname and looked for the voice. I instantly relaxed when I saw Loki sitting in a chair next to me. He was looking well. His chest didn't seem to be bothering him, although he was a bit on the skinny side. I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better, and waved my hand towards the water pitcher. He jumped up quickly, dropping my hand to pour me a glass. It was warm and soothed my cracked throat as it went down. It settled in my belly and I sighed in relief.

"Are you alright?" I asked softly.

He chuckled sadly. "I am fine. You should be worried about yourself,"

"Why?" I asked. I looked down at my body but it was covered by the blankets I was currently covered in.

"You have taken a sword to the right calf, right upper arm, and left ribs, you've been stabbed in the right thigh with a magicked knife, and have taken three of the same magicked knives to your abdomen. You also had overexerted yourself by healing me,"

"Oh," I said meekly.

"You have been unconscious for twelve days while the healers looked over you and I had to counter the effects of the knives,"

I sat up quickly, a bit miffed at my weak arms. "Twelve days? Let me up. There's so much to do! Damn body. Let me up! Did we pick up the dead? What about the soldiers? Is everyone alright? What's going on in the kingdom? Did the enemy leave?" I said rapidly, struggling to leave the bed.

"Yes, everyone and everything is alright, sit back down," Loki responded.

"No, no, no, I've been down for twelve days, I don't care about my weakness, let me up,"

Loki looked wary but wrapped an arm around my middle, careful of the bandage covering my side. The stab wounds in my right thigh and the gash in my right calf ached, but my left leg was completely unharmed so all I had to do was limp and hold onto Loki. We walked to the balcony, and I breathed deeply as the fresh air met with my stale skin. I looked around and saw that there were people walking in the streets.

"Tell me everything," I ordered. Loki adjusted me so I leaned on him. The short walk had exhausted me. I rested my head on his shoulder and held him close.

"The High Council has been ruling for the past twelve days. Agony's Army left, and their general sent a letter stating that they understood they had lost fairy. The citizens have returned, and your servant, Coran is remarkably adept at forging letters of thanks from you. Most of the soldiers who were not killed have healed sufficiently and a memorial for the dead is currently being planned. The town that was attacked is currently being rebuilt, and everyone and everything is alright,"

I took in the information, feeling a powerful surge of gratefulness for Coran and the High Council. I leaned even heavier into Loki's arms.

"Marvelous," I responded, feeling a weight come off my shoulders. Loki hummed in response and kissed the top of my head. I watched the people walk throughout their day, looking to the battlefield and seeing the grass bright and green. It must have rained, and the blood must have soaked deeper into the marred soil.

"Do you want to know something?" I asked him.

Loki smiled. "You continually asked me that when you were drunk, but yes, I do,"

I scowled a bit at the memory, embarrassment making my cheeks heat. "I dreamt about you,"

"Really?" Loki asked, looking down at me.

"Mhm," I confirmed. "It was the queerest thing, it didn't feel like a dream at all. We talked, and hugged, and he told me to go back to you,"

"I like Dream Loki," he stated, then more softly he added, "I missed you. Norns, I was so worried. Twelve days, Addie, twelve days you were gone,"

I held him tighter."I missed you as well,"

He kissed the top of my head again and I turned so I could rest against his chest. His heartbeat thumped steadily against my ear and his chest swelled beneath me as he breathed. We sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying the warmth of each other's bodied.

"My parents used to call me that," I said quietly.

"Addie?" he questioned, sharpening his green eyes on me. I nodded against his chest. He studied me for a moment. "Do you want me to stop?"

I thought. "No," I decided. Loki smiled gently, then forced me to hobble back to the bed.

He got me to eat some soup and bread, as well as a healing potion that tasted of coconut, but smelled of roses. The confusion and surprise must have shown on my face for Loki laughed loudly and I frowned, before my twitching lip crashed my ruse and I dissolved into giggles. He took the tray off me and settled into bed next to me. His attentiveness and care struck a cord deep in me and I suddenly found it hard to swallow.

"I love you so much," I told him intensely. Loki gave me a lopsided grin. 

"As I love you,"

We snuggled under the furs and blankets, Loki taking care not to jostle me or press too hard on any of my bandages. I heard him suck in a deep breath, and readied myself to hear what he had to say.

"What are your thoughts on marriage?"

My heart stopped for a long moment, then leapt in my chest. I squealed for joy in my head and hid my grin in his shirt.

"What are your thoughts on children?" I asked in response. When he went still, I thought I had made a mistake. I tensed in psychological reaction.

"I would not abject to children," he said, at last. I grinned again, even wider, feeling like my face was going to split. True, he hadn't exactly asked for my hand, and I was not pregnant, but I felt that inexplicable sense of undeniable joy exploding inside my chest like a supernova of biological chemicals, endorphins and dopamine shooting throughout my body.

"Then I suppose I would not abject to marriage," I answered, moving my mouth away from his chest slightly so he could hear me. I felt his lips stretch in my hair, and I suspected he was smiling, and if I could feel his grin against my hair, then surely he felt mine against his chest. 

We squirmed closer together under the covers, and when I dreamed, I dreamt of a little boy and girl laughing to a soundtrack of wedding bells.

 

 


	25. This Is The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lifetime comprised into one chapter, spread out through little paragraphs divided by bolded and capitalized 'x's'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, this is it. I've never written anything this long, and I swear to whatever god any of you believe in, I wouldn't have finished it if it wasn't for all of your support. You've all been unbelievably kind, and sweet. Every comment or criticism, every kudos, gave me just what I needed to continue this. Thank you so much for supporting me, and for reading it, for bookmarking it, for giving it a kudos. I can't even comprehend the amount of kudos and hits this got.
> 
> 197 kudos, and 3, 810 hits and 17 bookmarks. Insane!
> 
> There really is no way to thank you all, and I wish there was.
> 
> Thank you, so much, from the very bottom of my heart. You are all amazing.
> 
> Love, -V-

"Addie"

I tilted my head, still reading the parchment. "Yes, dear?" I asked absently.

He picked up my hand and placed something in it. I tightened my hand around it and continued to read. It was a report on Enduran's agricultural output.

"Addie," 

I finished the paragraph and looked at him, before looking to what he had given me. The small, silk bag reminded my of the one I had had for his collar. I gave him a small smile and went to undo the ties that held it closed. With the bag open, I poured it into my hand. What landed in my open palm stole my breath. A band of gleaming, marbled gold and emerald held an large emerald, faceted like a diamond, surrounded by tiny, shining pearls. 

"Loki..." I started, my voice quieting as I held the note. "Is this...?

"Yes," he said primly, reaching forward to take it from me. He grabbed my left hand and looked at me before sliding it onto my finger. I nodded minutely and he wound his elegant fingers through mine and twisted the ring onto my hand, winding our fingers together. I looked over our hands at him, turning slightly in my desk chair.

"Will you be my wife?" Loki asked softly.

My sight started to blur. "Yes," I answered quietly. He kissed our joined hands and I kissed his hair before turning back to read, although most of my attention was directed on the ring glinting in the sunlight.

**XXXXX**

I breathed deeply, sucking in breaths and holding them until I thought my lungs would burst.

"Do not be nervous, darling, it is only my mother and father,"

I glared at Loki as we walked down the hall. "Do not be nervous, darling, it is only the Allfather and his Queen, nothing to fear, nothing at all, " I mocked.

As we neared the dining hall, a large, blonde man hurtled towards us, tearing Loki from my grasp and enfolding him in his muscular arms. I started towards them, but stopped when I saw Loki roll his eyes and mutter, "Put me down, Thor, only nine months have passed,"

Thor did release Loki, but still kept a large hand clamped on his shoulder. "Yes, brother, nine months, and you went to war!"

Loki rolled his eyes again and ducked under Thor's large hand, moving to stand by me again. Thor raised his eyebrows, mouth twisting into a delighted grin.

"Is this the woman you wrote to me about?" Thor asked gleefully, blue eyes shining with pride.

"Yes," I said, feeling giddy that Loki had written letters about me to his brother. 

Thor smiled widely, bowing and grabbing my hand to lay a kiss on it. "And who are they?" 

I looked behind me to where Thor's eyes were trained on the armoured, TriWarriors, who stood silently in formation.

"These are my TriWarriors," I explained. "Sidi, Pox, and Bur,"

Thor nodded at them, all three bowing their heads in respect. Loki was tugged away from my side again, left to join Thor at the front while I sidled next to Pox as we neared the door to the dining hall. 

"He looks a bit like me, does he not?" Pox asked me. I looked between them, the long, blonde hair, broad shoulders and bulging muscles, shiny, bright blue eyes. Pox's jaw was a little stronger than Thor's, and the shape of their eyes and noses were different.

"A bit, yes," I conceded.

**XXXXX**

 

"And now, by the right bestowed upon me by my blood and the consent of the people, I proclaim you, Loki Laufey-Odinson, King of Enduran," I said loudly, looking to where my husband-to-be knelt in front of me, swathed in swirling emerald robes, his hair elaborately styled and braided. I took the crown off the pillow held by Coran, who fainted when I proposed him for the position. It matched mine, an emerald star brightly crafted in the front, spikes and other stars following the circlet, emeralds, golden prongs, and pearls completing a circle around his head. The crowd cheered when Loki lifted his head, and he stood, tall and proud. I caught a look at Thor. His eyes were shining and he was holding his mother close. Frigga was openly crying, albeit in joy, her motherly smile shining brightly. Odin stood rigidly but I could see his pride by the way he smiled slightly when Loki's eyes met his.

The people screamed for him, and Loki smiled down at me, linking our fingers so I heard the brief clink our rings made. I kissed his hand, moving to grasp his right hand. 

I am fairly sure some people blew eardrums as the crowd screeched when Loki kissed my forehead.

**XXXXX**

 

Odin held my arm firmly as we walked towards the alter, the musicians tune light and bubbly. I stamped down my nerves and looked up from my shoes. He was dressed in his ceremonial armour, remade for today. The horns of his helmet gleamed in the sunlight and he smiled at me tenderly. I felt my breath release in a whoosh.  _I get to spend the rest of my life with him._  I kept my eyes locked on him as Odin and I walked, his reassuring fatherly presence calming me. I felt a burst of happiness with every step I took, and if I were a different person I surely would have cried. 

I looked to where I saw Sidi and Thor standing below the alter's steps, Thor standing close to his brother with misty eyes, and Sidi waiting for me to take my place in front of her. Jane, Darcy, and Frigga all stood together, watching with wide smiles and shiny eyes. I had shared few words with Jane and Darcy, but I knew the effects a wedding could have on the emotions of a woman, embodied by the fact that the all had tears in their eyes, Frigga included. Loki being my partner, and her son, I had been privileged to have small moments of privacy with her, where I had found the motherly love which I had been given, then denied. She and I had become rather close, and now she showed me a maternal smile, and a proud nod of her head.

 

We reached the steps, and Odin lead me up them, holding tight to my hand. I stepped into my place, where Odin was meant to hand me to Loki, and I tensed slightly, fully aware of the strenuous details of their relationship, not as bad as it was, (or so I've been told), before Loki sacrificed himself for me, and Odin had been educated of what Loki did during his time under Thanos's control. Odin has since then absolved Loki of any and all punishment. Odin released my arm, and stepped forward, looking into Loki's eyes. Loki stared back impassively, two green eyes meeting one blue eye. Odin clapped both hands onto Loki's shoulder, and smiled, before stepping away. Loki blinked in bewilderment, before turning his gaze on me, eyes bright with brimming tears. I smiled softly at him, feeling a pang of sadness that even such small affection from Odin was unfamiliar to Loki.

We had invited Yona to do the bonding ceremony. She was well versed in all marital practices, having learned the knowledge on many of her otherworldy travels. She stood, draped in golden robes, completely unadorned. She smiled softly and picked up both of our left hands, touching the palms to each other. She wrapped a golden rope around our hands, tying it into an ornate knot. Loki's fingers were much longer than mine, and he bent the tips of his fingers over mine, grinning at me. I laughed quietly, before shooting him a mock glare, that was completely ruined by my smile. He chuckled softly and winked, and we both heard the collective 'aw' of the crowd. 

Yona smiled as well, taking our hands and dipping them into a glass bowl of blessed water, which Odin and Frigga had blessed earlier, and which my parents would have blessed, had they been there. Once dipped into the water, the rope changed slightly, the color rippling like scales. Our hands were taken out and Yona began to chant in an ancient language, one that very few knew, and even fewer still used. The words were smooth, flowing out of her mouth like water, musical, and soothing in tone. She sheared the rope with a ceremonial knife, emblazened with runes, placing the knot in a silk bag. When she finished, she looked at me, nodding her head in encouragement. Loki smiled warmly at me and I let out a nervous breath.

"As a young girl, I doted on the idea of the perfect love, the perfect man, as most young girls do. And I have found them both. I was cold and empty before I had met you, and now I can say that you bring warmth and love to my life. You are brave, intelligent, loyal and compassionate, and if the universe had given me the chance to fashion a man of my fondest desires, I would have created you. You are more than I deserve, and yet I find I cannot be without you. Loki, you are _mon monde_ , my world, _ma vie_ , my life, _mon coeur_ , my heart. I love you, my husband. _Je t'aime_."

I sucked in a deep breath, my heart fluttering wildly and my body filled with warmth. I gave Loki a loving smile, and he reciprocated with a twist of his lips.

"My past is filled with darkness, and many mistakes. It is all worth it, though, for the chance to have a future with you. You are the light in my life, the shining beacon to guide me home. I am not overly familiar with sentiment, or entirely comfortable, but for you I will do anything, I will be anything. I belong with you, and I belong to you. I love you, with all that I am, and there are no words I know of to describe how I feel about sharing a lifetime with you. 'Happy' comes to mind, but it is as capable of describing how I feel as 'beautiful' is at describing you. My love for you is unconditional, and everlasting. It is not an opinion, it is a fact. You have my heart, Adelaide, and I am overjoyed that you do."

Loki reached into his overcoat and took out a folded square of paper. He handed it to me, and I laughed out a sob when I recognized it as the drawing of Banshee Loki had done one of his first few days in my company. I looked over it again and was amazed at the detail and quality.

"You have always been beautiful to me," Loki said softly. 

I started to cry, not stuttering, shivering sobs, but silent drips of salt water, usually out of place on a smiling face, but, as I said before, certain things are expected at a wedding. Loki gave me a rakish grin and raised his right hand to run a thumb over my tremulous smile.

**XXXXX**

I watched in glee as Thor hung onto Loki, and after Loki (im)politely detached himself, he laughed when he saw me roll my eyes. Thor followed his line of sight and skipped over to me, asking for a dance. I smiled, taking his arm, and Thor lead us to the dance floor, which was nothing more than a layer of marbled stone. The ceremony had been held outside, the sun bright in the sky and a sweet, light breeze waving though the audience. Birds had sung, and we had all laughed when a noble was the unfortunate victim of the bird's digestive system.

The beautiful wedding dress I was wearing called for a shortage of spins and quick dances, so we mostly danced simple box steps. It was a shining emerald that glittered in the light, a tight bodice encrusted with lines of gold thread and pearls, held tight over the hips until the light, gauzy fabric fell over golden lace, peek-a-boo through the sheer emerald. Loki and I had stood together when Darcy demanded she took a picture on some strange metallic rectangle? Jane had tried to explain was called a cell phone? I had only conceded when Loki leaned in and whispered into my ear, "Midgardian magic."

The tune was light, happy. Thor looked dashing in his ceremonial armour, all silver lines and his flashing red cape.

"My Lady," he said softly. "I cannot properly express my gratitude in any way I know,"

"Gratitude?" I asked.

"You have given my brother what we had taken from him," he elaborated. "Happiness,"

I frowned. "I do not think-"

Thor shook his head. "Please listen,"

I firmly shut my mouth.

"I had not realised what damage I had done until Loki and I's fight on the Rainbow bridge. 'I never wanted the throne, I only ever wanted to be your equal," is what Loki said to me that night. And then he fell off of the edge of the Bifrost, and Thanos stole his mind," Thor recounted, his eyes unfocused, his mind far from him. "In our childhood, we had teased him, mocked him. We hadn't appreciated him for his worth, which is immeasurable," 

I followed his eyes to where the Warrior's Three stood around Loki, who looked slightly uncomfortable. When Pox, Sidi, and Bur joined in, however, Loki relaxed slightly, and I watched in amusement how Loki bent to accommodate the settling of Pox's arm around his shoulder. 

"Thank you for bringing him back, back to me, and my mother, and my father. I feared we would lose him when my father sent him here, but instead, you found him," Thor said, voice thickening with emotion. "I cannot thank you enough. If you ever need anything, you can always place your faith in the Warrior's Three and myself, and when I am King, you can place your faith in Asgard,"

I looked into his eyes, bright blue and shiny with tears. "Thank you for being the person he can always place  _his_ faith in," 

Thor laughed quietly, bringing his large palm from my waist to wipe away a tear. When the dance ended, he kissed my hand and held it to his forehead briefly.

**XXXXX**

 

"This is not going to work,"

I scoffed. "Yes, it will. I have done it before,"

Loki raised an eyebrow, and even though he was wearing a mask, I knew he was. I could  _feel_ it. I was confident in myself, but doubt started to creep in when I looked him over. He cut a dazzling figure in his black suit, all slim lines and hard edges. He bemoaned the loss of his colours, the suit being purple and black, the star-patterned cloak covering most of it, though. We had matching masks, half black lace and half purple cloth, only the mouth left uncovered. His mask had been constructed differently, to give off a distinctly masculine feel. He still looked tall and imposing, but when the hood of the cloak was over him, his fit from was somewhat hidden from the public's eye.

"Trust in me, no one will recognize you, and if they do, so what? You are their King, what are they going to do? Tattle on you to me?" I said candidly.

Loki shook his head and chuckled quietly, but I knew he was starting to agree with me. I had on a dress to match, black silk, purple linen stars decorating it in swirls, my own starred cloak draped over my form. The seamstress made all our clothes, and insisted we matched, so even though the crowd would not know who we were, they would know we were together. She was very thoughtful, and I had given her the rest of the day off.

He reached for my hand, and we came out from behind a little stand, drifting into the crowd on their path to the town square for the Star Festival. I adjusted my mask and pulled up my hood, draping it carefully over my hair. I had braided it back, so it would be less visible. The music steadily got louder the closer we got, and I squeezed Loki's hand in anticipation and I saw his lips smirk when he turned to look at me. I giggled and skipped a few steps.

"I have not hidden from the people like this in ages," I whispered to him.

"I am a bad influence," Loki replied.

I kissed the cheek of his mask quickly. "Hush now, if anything I am a bad influence,"

"What do you mean?"

"I convinced the King of Enduran to sneak out of the palace in costume so his own people would not recognize him,"

Loki chuckled. "You are right, you are the bad one,"

We arrived in the square, draped in silver and black fabric, stars painted onto every surface, glowing softly in the dim sunset. A sweet, lilting melody swam around us, and people were already dancing merrily around the fountain, small wooden stars floating on the water's surface. It was so different from any ball or party at the place, the stiff, formal waltzes and three-step dances.  I laughed brightly in excitement and dragged Loki around with me, looking at everything the vendors and little shoppes had to offer. Couples drifted with each other, their matching outfits looking romantic and endearing, and I delighted in knowing Loki and I matched as well, childish as the delight was.

"Would you like it?" Loki asked.

I looked at the necklace, a beautiful piece. A silver chain gleamed, weighed down with charms, the moon, and several smaller stars.

"It's alright, dear," I answered. I did want it, but I also knew I would only wear it tonight. Loki smirked, then reached into his cloak to grab his money pouch, drawing out three silver pieces. I tried to stop him, but he batted away my hand, much to the amusement of the wizened old woman manning the stand.

"You did not have to buy it," I murmured. Loki moved to stand in front of me, slipping his hands into my hood to clasp the necklace behind my neck. He rested his fingertips against the back of my neck when he finished, making me shiver slightly, dropping his other hand to skim the chain, straightening the charms.

"Yes, I did," Loki said lightly. He pushed me forward slightly to look in the mirror on the post, and I had to admit, I rather fancied the way the sparkling silver looked with the dress against my skin.

The old woman grinned a gap-toothed smile. "It looks wonderful, Your Majesty," 

I froze, turning to stare at her. She merely grinned again, pushing the silver coins back at Loki. "Do not worry, your secret is safe with me," 

I looked to Loki, and he looked back, waiting for me to make a move. I stalked to the woman, and her smile faltered a bit. I grabbed her hand, then gently folded her fingers over the coins. "Keep them," I told her softly.

She bowed her head and shook my hand gently. When she stuck her hand in her money pocket, Loki and I turned to leave, and the old woman sent us off with a merry wink.

**XXXXX**

I shut my eyes, anticipation and excitement and hope all mixing in my chest and making it a little hard to breathe. Sidi squeezed my hand, then squealed, and my eyes shot open.

Above me, in the smokey rendition of my body the Soul Forge made, a small form hovered in my abdomen, where the space had previously been empty. I stared at it in a daze, and when I dropped a hand to my stomach, the Forge echoed the movement, and seconds later the misty hand hovered over the misty form.

"Am I pregnant?" I asked slowly.

The attending healer nodded excitedly. "Yes!" 

I sat up carefully and the healer turned off the Forge. "I'm...with-child?"

The healer nodded again. "Yes!"

I looked at Sidi, who was bouncing with excitement and happiness. 

"I'm-I'm pregnant!" I told her.

"You're pregnant!" she crowed, and I jumped down from the table and she embraced me tightly. I held her close, and kissed her cheek. My heart squeezed with happiness as I wormed a hand in between us to splay my fingers over the budding life inside me.

**XXXXX**

"You needed to talk with me?" Loki asked, somewhat warily.

I opened my mouth to speak, and again, and I tried one more time, but I closed my mouth and instead motioned for him to sit.

"Loki...I have something very-very important...to tell you," I said sloppily, cursing myself for the idiocy of the sentence.

Loki nodded slowly and sat down on the loveseat, wiggling a bit to get comfortable. I sat down next to him and smoothed my dress, buying time for the words he needed to hear.

"I am...going to have your child," I said softly, staring at my hands twisted in my lap.

I clearly heard Loki's quick intake of breath, and when I looked up he was sitting rigidly, staring at me. I felt a moment of panic. We had only been married for about a year.  _  
_

"You are going to have my child?" Loki repeated. I nodded slowly. Loki sunk to the floor, on his knees, and I thought perhaps I'd broken him, but when he shuffled towards me and got in between my knees, I knew everything would be alright. He put his large hands on either side of my waist and pressed a cheek against my abdomen, even though there was nothing to hear.

  _Yet._

**XXXX** **X**

I laughed loudly, holding my protruding stomach and throwing my head back until tears fell down my cheeks. 

"Darcy!" I gasped. "You are brilliant!"

I held up the tiny outfit for her when she pulled out her phone, (Jane explained it to me) Darcy proclaiming that she, "Just really, really needs a picture, because this moment is perfect,"

It _was_ perfect, the funniest thing at the whole party. Jane and Darcy had insisted I have a baby shower, some Midgardian thing, and because we had become friends, I decided to indulge them. Thor had brought Jane, Darcy, and the Warrior's Three, along with Sif, and my own TriWarriors and Loki had joined me. They'd been informed to bring me presents, and they had. Fuzzy blankets and stuffed toys sat in bags and baskets to my right, but nothing could beat Darcy's present.

Loki had been periodically returning with Thor to Midgard, helping the Avenger's and rebuilding New York, fighting crime and new dastardly villains. Apparently, the humans had taken a shining to the new, less-psychotic Loki, because they had begun to fashion clothing and toys in his image, just as they had done for the rest of the Avengers.

Darcy had obviously picked up on the fad, given the present she had chosen. It was a little onesie, the fabric patterned to mimic Loki's armour. A little hat with cotton-filled horns came with it, along with a little green cape.  _'Godling of Mischief'_ was stated neatly on the front.

I shook the tiny clothes at Loki, and he scowled, before his resolve dissolved into a soft chuckle.

**XXXXX**

"Loki," I said, poking his shoulder. He twitched slightly and moved his head from my shoulder. He had curled up around me and my large stomach, somehow fitting a leg in between mine. 

"Loki!" I repeated. He moved his head again, moving his mouth away from me.

"Hmm?" he asked sleepily.

"I really want some mashed potatoes," I told him. In pregnancy, you do not understand why some things happen, and right now, all I understood was that I really, really, wanted some mashed potatoes.

Loki 'hmmed' again, moving his arm to encircle the baby. He didn't understand the need, but I  _needed_ some mashed potatoes. I felt the sudden rush of tears.  _Ugh, hormones._

"Loki, please," I said, voice strained. 

Loki groaned slightly, and shuffled away from me. The loss of his body heat made me want to cry even more, and the thought of crying even more made me want to cry even more, and it was just a very vicious cycle. He stumbled from the bed, making his way towards the door.

"Mashed potatoes," I reminded him. He leaned heavily on the door and opened it, calling a servant forward. 

"Mashed potatoes," he repeated, hooking a thumb over his shoulder towards me. The servant ran off, literally  _ran_ off. One day I had not gotten my lettuce kabab (please do not ask)  quick enough and had dissolved into big, fat, tears.

Loki climbed back into bed, winding fitting himself around my stomach again, drawing an arm protectively around my stomach. 

"Come in!" I said, in reply to a knock at the door. Eden scampered in, holding a steaming bowl of delicious, buttery, mashed potatoes. 

"Yesss," I groaned, reaching greedy hands for it. Eden quickly handed it to me, moving a pillow so I could set the bowl down. I cupped her cheek affectionately, and she leaned into the touch. "Thank you, dear. You are marvelous," 

Eden blushed, before bowing and moving away with a quiet, "Sleep well, Your Majesty,"

"You as well, dear," I replied. When she left, I spooned a great amount, and moaned filthily as I swallowed it down. A movement inside my abdomen had me gasping sharply, and a hand immediately shot down to grasp the spot.

"What?" Loki said worryingly.

"Nothing. The baby merely kicked,"

"Where?" he asked, propping himself up on elbow and looking down at my stomach. 

I moved my hand, and his took up the space. The baby kicked again, and Loki's face split into a wide grin.

"Hello, child. I am your father," he said softly. A kick came in response, and Loki laid a gentle kiss on my stomach.

"You will never know how much I love you," I told him gently.

Loki looked up, and kissed my forehead. "I think I have an idea, "

**XXXXX**

I cried soft tears of happiness. No, joy? Contentment? There was no word for the well of love I felt inside me, with this being in my arms. I held him closer to my chest, feeling his tiny heartbeat, fast as a bird. A rush of chemicals, maternal instincts and pheromones washed over me, and I moved the blanket away from his face. It had been a gift from Bur, a warm, cotton, light green in color. The midwifes and maids still bustled around me, but I ignored them, focusing only on the warm bundle I held in my arms. I could hear the frantic words of Loki outside the door, and he burst in. He slowed immediately when he saw me, and everyone took the hint, quickly evacuating the room.

"Would you like to hold him?" I asked, voice slightly hoarse from the vocalization of pain.

Loki cautiously made his way towards my side, hovering over me. His green eyes were wide, and I knew he had been running his hands through his hair by the way it was mussed. Pillows had been set up behind me, so I sat up, and Loki mimicked the position of my arms. I slowly eased our son into Loki's cradle, and I adjusted his arms slightly. Loki sat on the bed next to my hip, and he stared at our son with awe.

"He is perfect," Loki whispered. "You are astounding, Addie, I will never be able to explain how much I love you,"

"You already have," I answered. "When you gave me this chance,"

> _**Protect, protect, protect. We will always guard out mate and child from harm, we will always be there.** _
> 
> _Always._

Over the next month or so, when our son began to grow into his skin, he began to closely resemble his father. I could not have asked for anything more amazing. Afli, meaning 'might' or 'power' had a hair full of shiny black hair, and two bright green eyes peeked from his skull. His skin had a lovely blue tint. He had my nose though, a pert little thing that was cute as a button. We knew he was going to be tall, perhaps even taller than Loki, considering how tall we both were. My lips also made an appearance, fuller than Loki's. 

We had no idea how he would react to magic, if his Endurian biology would hinder his ability, or if he inherited that facet of himself from Loki. And, not forgetting to mention his Frost Giant heritage, how would that fit into Afli's life? It had made itself known it the pigment of his skin, but what else?

All we could do was wait.

**XXXXX**

"That is crazy! Pepper, look. Now we have  _two_ God of Mischiefs. It's like they cloned him,"

I shifted Afli in my arms, bringing him closer to my chest and away from the loud man. A ginger woman came over and pulled the man up from his crouch by his elbow.

"Hello. I apologize for his behavior, he can be a bit intrusive. I'm Pepper, and this is Tony," she said, holding out her hand. I stared at it in confusion, before she dropped it. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you aren't familiar with our customs,"

"...Yes," I said slowly. "I am Queen Adelaide, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance,"

"Queen?" Tony asked, his brown eyes suddenly sharpening and focusing on me.

"Queen," I confirmed.

"So what can you do? Your brooding husband had magic, his brother's got the hammer, and your lovely child has that sky-blue skin. What about you?"

I looked to where my 'brooding' husband was indeed brooding, narrowing his eyes at Tony from where Thor had dragged him to a thick, blonde man, and a leather-encased, dark-skinned man with an eyepatch with a shorter, brunette who had some black-framed things over his ears and eyes. I watched as the brunette adjusted them and chuckled.

"What can I do?" I asked. Pepper shook her head apologetically, and Tony nodded eagerly. I looked to Loki, and I knew he heard, because he flashed me a wicked smile.

"I am capable of many things, but I think this is what you want to see,"

I held a hand in front of Tony, and slowly released Banshee. Languid warmth rolled through my limbs, along with the rush of power that always came, a burst of energy. Tony stared open-mouthed at my fingers, where Banshee's long, black, talons slowly speared through my fingertips. Afli giggled when a lock of my hair brushed his face on it's way to float behind my ears.

The group Loki was with had all turned to stare at me, and the one with the eyepatch raised a challenging eyebrow. I smirked.

"Tell your spies that if they want to get a closer look, they can come down," I said, motioning to where the two thought they were hiding in the rafters.

Eyepatch's eyebrow remained raised, but his lips slowly turned up into a smile as a redhead and dirty blonde jumped to the floor.

**XXXXX**

"You two can come out now," I said, walking through the hallway.

I saw the little shape long before it hit me, but I let it tackle me anyway.

"Oh!" I yelped, falling over gently, rolling on my back to protect him. "You got me! No, no! Loki, help, help me!" I groaned.

Loki slipped out from behind a column and picked Afli up, spinning him in the air, before burying his head in Afli's stomach and growling viciously, sending the little boy into a fit of laughter. When Loki put Afli on his hip, he immediately wound is arms around his father's neck and laid his head on Loki's shoulder.

I stepped closer and threaded a hand into Loki's raven locks, bringing him down the few inches to my height. I kissed him softly, before kissing Afli gently on his own raven hair.

"The two I love most," I said.

**XXXXX**

Tony ran down the stairs to us, scooping Afli up in his arms and twirling him around in a big circle.

"Uncle Tony!" Afli yelled happily.

"Hey, little buddy, what's hangin'"?

Afli scrunched his eyes confusingly. "Hanging? Mother and Father brought me down for a visit, if that is what you were meaning to ask,"

Tony raised his eyebrows and looked to Loki and I. I shrugged at Tony, and he shook his head. "All right, smarty pants. I get it, you've gotta be posh up in space,"  Tony put Afli down as the rest of the Avenger's came into the room, knowing they would want to talk to him.

Bruce and Clint sat down on the couch, leaving space between them for Afli. 

"Uncle Bruce?" he asked.

Bruce leaned down slightly as Afli tugged on his shirt sleeve. "Yes, Afli?"

"Why does Uncle Tony call me so many different things? Does he not remember my name?"

Bruce's warm eyes closed for a second as he chuckled. "They're just nicknames. He knows your name, but he calls you silly things that he thinks describe you. Like, 'little buddy'. You're small, and you're his friend. Or 'smarty pants", because you're smart,"

"Could he not just tell me these things?"

Bruce smiled. "Well, yes, but instead he uses nicknames, just like your mother uses 'dear',"

Afli's nose crinkled as he struggled to understand. "Are they meant to show affection?" 

"Yes, Afli," Bruce said. "Do you understand, now?" 

Clint was shaking his head, grinning widely. 

"Yes, thank you, Uncle Bruce,"

**XXXXX**

"Mother?" Afli asked, putting his arms up for me to grab him. I situated him on my lap.

"Yes, dear?"

Afli brightened for a moment, looking towards Bruce. Bruce raised an eyebrow, and Afli pointed to me.

"Affection?" he asked. Bruce laughed quietly before nodding. 

I threw a questioning glance towards Bruce, but he just shook his head and laughed, before continuing his conversation with Steve.

Afli turned towards me again, his father's bright green eyes locking onto mine. "I am concerned,"

"About what?" I asked, brushing a lock of black hair away from his eyes.

"How do you know I will be a good King?" he asked softly. My heart clenched as I remembered a conversation I had had with my father centuries ago.

"I had the same fear, child,"

"Really?"

I nodded. "It is true. It seemed like a very big responsibility, so daunting. I did not think I would be able to lead the people, keep them fed, keep them healthy and educated. But I know, deep in my heart, that you will rise to the job," 

"But how do you know mother? How did you do it?" Afli asked forlornly, his little mouth turned down.

"I only had my tutors to help me, and the kingdom is prospering. And you have so much more,"

"I do?" Afli asked hopefully.

"Yes," I answered. "You have me, and your father, and Thor, Jane and Darcy. You have Bruce, and Tony, and Steve, Clint, and Natasha. You even have Fury. We all love you, and we will all support you," I pointed to them as I named them, and by the end they were all listening, and nodding in agreement.

Loki moved away from Thor to sit next to us, kissing Alfi's hair tenderly.

"We will always be here to help you. To listen to you and to love you. Anything you need, we will give to you. You are so very smart, smarter than I was at your age. You are kind, and helpful. You know how to listen, and how to speak. You are gentle, but strong. We will always be here, and you will always have us, and that is how I know you will be a good King,"

Alfi looked at me closely, then at Loki, before turning his gaze towards the rest of the group, all of them nodding or smiling in encouragement.

"Always?" Alfi asked softly.

"Always," I answered, kissing the soft skin of my son's forehead. I looked into Loki's eyes, the bright green never failing to take my breath away. He laced our fingers together, before tenderly kissing my knuckles. Our friends looked onto the scene with soft eyes. I looked at them all, taking in their unending devotion and loyalty, their kindness and care. 

I could ask for a perfect life, but I already had one. The perfect husband, or the perfect son, the perfect friends, but I would never give them up.

**XXXXX**

The universe had answered the prayer of a desolate girl losing the grip on her mind, when another voice had invaded and her skin had glowed gold, and her parents had shunned her, replaced her. It had given the girl a life of love, and perfection, and she would guard the ones she loved with her life. 

If only one thing could be said about that girl, it would be that no one would ever love as fiercely, ever protect as passionately. Save for her lover.

Her family grew together, the Trickster God of Mischief who had had his mind stolen, and had destroyed not one, but two cities, one small and one big. Who had tried to kill his brother, then himself. Who had fallen through the Void and returned. Who had been an outcast that had fallen in love with one who had been equally shunned. One who had been cared for, then pushed away when a demon made itself known in her blood, when a voice of violence had spoken through her mouth and claws of obsidian had pushed through her fingers. Who had been taken by the Tormentor, then had taken the Tormentor's life, who had saved her lover's life and risked her own.

They both came together filled with anger and vain pride, but together they learned to let go of the past and look towards the future, which was now filled with a beautiful little boy with blue skin and black hair and green eyes, who could do magic and conjure the power of winter. A boy who had the cunning and patience of his father, and the silence and strength of his mother, who did grow to be taller than both, who was the best of both, the best for both, and they loved him with all the love they had been denied.

Even in old age, his green eyes were sharp, and her tawny eyes were quick, and their tongues were just as barbed, even as they walked bound by their interlaced fingers, bound by the love that grew out of hate, but love and hate are both of passion, and the line between them is thin, and both are just as strong and unending. The universe spun, the rivers flowed, and the wind howled, carrying the story of both far beyond their land, their time, and if the universe had a heart, it surely would have skipped a beat every time it looked upon the love that had bloomed between the two that loved as strongly as they once had hated, but love and hate are both of passion, and the line between them in thin, and both are just as strong and unending, as everlasting as the universe itself.

 

_End._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, a big thank you to lyrical_heart!
> 
> Girl, you are such a sweetie. Seeing your comments made me squeal with happiness. Thank you for being so devoted and patient with the story. I hope one day you get really rich and find the perfect man to make you happy. I hope he buys you a big house by the beach, or in the woods, and he gets you a dog, or a car, or whatever. 
> 
> Best wishes, -V-

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfition! I hope you all like it. I didn't want to confuse people with the complex world of Norse mythology, so I made up a world with a species to go with it. Many Loki fics are all about him having dominant rampaging sex, so I decided to turn the tables. This is going to be a multi-chapter story. I'll try to update as much as I can, so drop a few kudos to help me out! Thanks for reading. :)


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